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May 2012 Moms
DH against sex while pregnant?
Anyone else dealing with this?
We haven't had sex since I got pregnant. DH says it's just "strange" to have sex while I'm pregnant. I am really missing the intimacy and I've tried to talk to him about it and he's adamant about his decision. We still cuddle and are very affectionate but no sex. Anyone else going through this?
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Re: DH against sex while pregnant?
I am going through it, but it's not my DH - it's me... and it's not because I think it's strange (though I think that is common for men, especially in the months where you are showing), but I just have this anxious feeling that I am going to do something to "wreck" my pregnancy. We have been intimate several times, but only once have we have actual sex - my husband is so patient & understanding. The one time we had sex, it was just not enjoyable for me - I wanted it to be soooo much, but I was too nervous! We did both climax, but it ended up hurting me so now, of course, I'm even more nervous. We will stick to the non-traditional ways of "skinning the cat" (haha I hate that term, but my OB is actually the one who used it with us when I told her I was nervous to have sex). Why don't you bring it up in a doctor's appointment, if he is there? Maybe hearing from your OB that it's totally normal will ease his mind... or just try to initiate something else (not sex, but close to it lol) and see where it goes from there? Good luck!
Skinning the cat?! LOL Never heard that one before.
I just wanted to offer support on this. Have you tried playing with him to get him aroused and then offering to finish on top
? Or, maybe doggy style might help him feel more comfortable for him because he can't see the baby?
I hope things work out for you two!
2012
I'm sorry that's got to be hard. Dh was kind of weirded out with our first but he got over it when the dr said it was fine and healthy for a couple to have sex while pregnant. At the end they actually told me many times we had to go home and have sex to try to move things along
. I would suggest having the dr tell him its ok and talking to him again.
For me at this point I love sex with all the extra blood down there it is very enjoyable. Not to mention after lo is born you won't be in the mood for a long time.
I am in this same boat. And forget the fact that I recently read that sperm/ejaculation can ripen your cervix! Just when I was thinking maybe I would be okay with it, I learned that and am back to square one. My OB has actually instructed us to have sex while I am still comfortable enough to do so....of course, that's physically and not mentally (which I have no comfort in). Boo.....fortunately DH is amazing and supportive.
On the other hand, I also read that the extra blood flow from a female O is good for the baby....simulates him/her and helps aid in the ongoing development (I read this from an OB site so don't knock me if you are a med pro and say otherwise...I thought it made some sense....at least the stimulation part). Maybe you could pitch this angle to him??
My /Chart; BFP 3/8/11 CP 3/16/11; 7/11 HSG & S/A both clear;
Cycle 12~ 50 mg Clomid=BFP 9/9/11, Beta #1=280 & Beta #2=1513, 6w3d hb=122 bpm/ 8w2d hb=186 bpm/12w2d could not hear hb had a 3rd u/s and got to see the hb. 16w2d heard the hb! 156 bpm. A/S 1/3=girl
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Thanks for all the advice everyone!
Since my 2nd tri started, my libido has been...umm very high. Even before I was showing he didn't want to do anything. He won't even allow oral. I just think it's really strange. It kind of makes me feel like an outcast or something.
I have told him that it's completely safe but maybe hearing it from the Dr. will help - I'll try that!
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