any teachers out there?

lrichmond86 · December 2011

I'm going to be returning to my Kindergarten class in two weeks. The last time I was in was before I was hospitalized for pre-e and put on bed rest, so last they knew teacher and baby were doing fine. I know that when I return they're going to have lots of questions to ask me about what happened. How should I handle this? I don't want to give too much information or make them feel sad or, worse, break down in front of them, but I want to be honest and open with them.

careyalis · December 2011

I am a teacher and I am carrying to term right now. I emailed my parents explaining my situation, but asked them not to tell the kids yet because it will only worry them at this point. I am very obviously pregnant and they won't understand why she will not make it. I plan on emailing the parents again once she is born and having our school counselor talk to them before I get back to let them know that baby Avery did not make it. I am also going to see if she will sit in with me on the first day back to help answer any questions that they are going to have and be there to cover if I need to leave the room for a breakdown. Good luck girl!

AmyG2b · December 2011

I am a teacher, and my sub had to begin the school year. All the kids knew I had been pregnant and was due right before school started. Also, I moved up a grade, so I have some kids in my class for the second year in a row.

After Ellie died, the teachers spoke with the kids in the upper grades (I teach 5th) and sent notes home to the parents. I sent an email to my secretary to pass along to the staff, because I knew people would be wondering how to act. I told them that I'd prefer to talk about it rather than pretending it didn't happen, and they needn't worry about trying to find the right thing to say. The most helpful thing I did though, at the advice of my therapist, was to go in at the end of the day on the Friday before I returned. I introduced myself to the kids and told them I was very happy to be coming back. I cried and told them my baby died and it was sad, but I was happy to be teaching again. My therapist told me not to beat around the bush about it, but to be honest and show true feelings. That way, it was out in the open and the kids wouldn't be upset or confused if I was ever having a bad moment. I hope this helps. Good luck.

Carolee · December 2011

I'm a teacher. Our loss was in the summer and I was between classes, but another teacher talked to my former students and explained what happened so that I didn't have to (none of the kids asked me anything when I got back). My students were older though, (5th). Does your school have a counselor that you could have come and speak to your students before you go back? At that age, they will have a really hard time understanding and it might be easier for you if the counselor can prep them first. Sending (((HUGS))). It isn't fair that you even have to think about this right now.

lrichmond86 · December 2011

Thanks for the advice, ladies! There is a psychologist at our school and I will contact her to see what she thinks about visiting my class on the first day back. I know that at this age the kids will likely ask me the same questions often (as I have found with my three-year-old neice). I really just don't want them to worry. As we all know, our students have plenty of other things to worry about.

NicoleD54 · December 2011

I'm not a teacher, but I do work in the school system. I think having the counselor explain to the students is a good idea. I'm sorry explaining this type of thing to a child is so hard. Hugs.

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