saturday night, lost mucus plug
monday (my due date) at around noon, i started feeling real contractions.
they were very short, and they were coming quickly ... but not very intense.
told hadi he didn't have to rush home, but not to stop at a bar on his way.
a few hours passed, started seeing (what i thought) was blood.
we asked the nanny to come back at ~11pm and be ready to stay the night.
checked in with the doc, they told me to hold tight, called the doula, she said the same.
contractions started getting a little more painful. jad (my almost 4 year old) would hug me
thru them, call me wonder woman and tell me that everything would be all
right. he really is the sweetest creature in the land.
about 10:30pm i have a contraction that makes me feel like i have to
pee, so i run to the bathroom ... wasn't a huge gush, but substantial
and brownish. even tho i'm gbs-, i call the doc because of
the color, thinking it might be blood ... they tell me my water broke and the brown was meconium and that i should head to the hospital so that they can
monitor the baby (meconium aspiration could be bad). so doula arrives, nanny arrives, we leave for hospital. i am spewing amniotic fluid with
baby poop and find a very thick waterproof lap pad and fold it in fours
and put it in the undies.
get to hospital l&d where i was triaged almost 4cm. i feel like i
could deal with the pain of the contractions for a bit longer, but
really don't want to, so i get the epidural. this was the point where DH faints. he was great for me, held steady and strong, but when it
was over he turned gray, his eyes rolled back and he 'fell' into his
chair. i lose it ... i knew he was the squeemish type, but
he is my rock, and i got hysterical that he fainted. he was fine in a
second, but still not pleasant.
get into a room where i basically labored most of the night without incident. we all tried to rest and prep for the big show.
first thing tue. am, i get an exam ... almost 6cm. i thought it would have been more, but it was ok.
oh, despite being told NOT to come, like no mincing words, my mother shows up. when she comes into the room i basically ignore her, i
didn't really talk to anyone (was sort of laboring in my own world) and
didn't want her to bring down my groove. but still, can you imagine??? this is why my kids will never spent the weekend with her,
she ignores my wishes to my face, what on earth would she do with my
kids??
anyway, at about noon, get another check 10cm! we are all excited.
decided to turn the epi down a bit so that i can feel the pushing urge
better and be more effective. try pushing a few times, not too useful,
we turn the epi off. oh, guess who is now sunnyside up??? meaning
severe back labor. i push a few times, do a
good job, but am in so much pain i cry and see stars. i ask for the epi
to go back up to 50% but we think they went full blast because i really
wasn't able to make anything happen. at this point it's been about
3.5 hours of pushing ... doc says that the baby's forehead was up against
the pelvic bone and not coming down, he is also not flipping and i'm not
pushing effectively. she said his head was getting swollen, and let's
not forget all the meconium. dh asked the doc for half hour more, and
was there anything else we could try ... so i got on my elbows and
knees ... a$$ high up to the sky. we push a few more times, doc says
she can see a full head of hair, but that he isn't going to come.
i lose it, completely and totally lose it. grab onto dh hysterical. i
can't believe that after everything i did, after going before 41 weeks,
after getting all the way to pushing, that i was going to have to end
it there. was exhausted, totally hormonal and sobbing uncontrollably.
doc said she would let me keep pushing, but at that point it wasn't
getting us anywhere. i agree to the c/s.
meanwhile ... i find
doula to be incredibly irritating throughout most of the proceedings.
physically, she is good, with pressure points and massage and other
stuff, but i just want her to stfu! at one point, she gets it and walks
away, but comes back.
c/s itself is awful ... took much longer than the first one (scar
tissue, etc.) plus i was so physically and emotionally exhausted. the
additional drug really made me shake and shiver and cry.
when the baby came out there was mass outcry of how big and feisty he was. the
pediatricians got him right away to make sure he didn't breath in any of
the meconium. recovery was
pretty awful as well, my heart rate was too high and they kept having me
breath deeply, which of course worried me and made my heart race
faster. also since he was higher than average birth weight, they have been doing blood
sugar tests every few hours. poor things feet are pin cushions.
speaking of being a pin cushion, i have had 3 different iv's and
they keep coming out! so they had to remove the epidural early, so i
have had more pain this time around.
dh brought my son by
yesterday morning ... he was so sweet. wanted to touch the baby's little
fingers, and see him. was excited by how tiny he was, but got a little
freaked when he cried. was really happy to see me, i got a lot of
unsolicited 'i love yous' ...
last night i got a call from the doc who attended the delivery and did
the c/s. she wanted to talk while i wasn't so emotional and tired and
tell me that there was no way the baby was coming out the hoo haa ... she
said his size and position even made him hard to get out via c/s, she
also regrets letting me push as long as i did. i thanked her profusely
for the call ... it meant a lot to me because in my state of i was
hearing 'he isn't coming out because you can't push him out' ... when
that isn't what she was saying.
anyway, it's over now, and really is over. there will be no more
babies, no other chances. when things really are out of my hands, they
are out ... and i'm letting this one go.
baby is nursing like a
champ. he looks exactly like a stockier, feistier version of my son. same mouth,
chin, nose ... he also has eyebrows, pretty unusual for a newborn. his
nose is a little smooshed, but that will go away soon. when i get a
chance i'll share some of pics.
in a nutshell ... i really am over the moon, and can't wait to spend
more time getting to know this boy. thank you all for being there for
me, during the 1.5 years it took to conceive, and this 9 month journey i love you all ...
Re: rami hadi makki, 8lbs, 14oz, 20in. 12/20, 5:56pm ...way LONG
I am so happy for you!!! I am laughing and tearing at your story. Love that DH didn't go to a bar on the way home, LOL. His fainting is just priceless.
I'm happy that you are on good terms with no VBAC-- you did what you could but at the end of the day, we can't control everything (or anything it seems). IF has certainly taught me that. That is really nice the doctor called you to tell you he had to come out via c/s.
LOL about the doula. I can totally picture how annoying someone talking at you would be. Sorry mom ignored your wishes too.
Can't wait to see a pic. Hope you are healing and will be up and feeling good soon. Get some rest Momma!!
I also sent you an email:-)
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com
You did it!!! Congratulations mama. So excited for you and your family.
I teared up at the part about your Dr calling you. Something like that would mean so much to me.
It may not have been exactly what you planned, but the end result is awesome. I do wish you a speedy recovery from your c/s.
I hope your holidays at home with the new little one are amazing!!!
My Blog
Me: 36, DH: 42
Dx: DOR and MFI
DH: low count + very low motility; hormones all normal; Sperm DNA Frag. test = poor to fair; male karyotyping normal
Me: FSH 13.4 + AMH 0.26 + hypothyroidism; Scratch the hypothyrodism (?); Blood clotting and immune panel all negative; endometrial biopsy normal
IVF #1 (MDLF - Jul/Aug 2011): BFN (9R, 5M, 3F with ICSI, 3dt of 1 10-cell grade 2, no frosties)
IVF #2 (EP-antagonist - Sep/Oct 2011): BFN (6R, 4M, 3F w/ ICSI, 3dt of 1 6-cell, 1 7-cell, grade 4s, no frosties)
DE IVF #1 (shared cycle - June 2012): c/p (6R, 6F w/ICSI, 3dt 1 8-cell grade A- and 1 7-cell grade A-; no frosties)
DE IVF #2 (shared cycle with new donor - Nov/Dec/ 2012): - BFP!!!!! 12/14/12. U/S on 12/27 shows twins!!!!!
SAIFW/PAIFW
Congrats!!!
Wow - Jad sounds like an awesome little guy who is going to be a fantastic big brother! Go Jad!
I really look forward to seeing pics of Rami! And thanks for sharing your story!! It was a good one. Enjoy your bonding....glad to hear he is nursing so well!! Take care of yourself!
Congratulations!!! I'm sorry that things didn't go as you would have liked, but I'm glad everyone's ok. I had to laugh at YH fainting. Can't wait to see pics of Rami. Congratulations again! And enjoy that sweet little boy.
Congratulations! What a wonderful story. In my very limited experience I've learned that babies come to us on their own terms and in their own way - when and how they want. I'm happy that you are feeling good with your c/s decision. I'm convinced my c/s saved not only my sons life but mine as well.
Stay in touch and I can't wait to see pictures
~TTC since 01/09~
~SA & B/W - 06/09 - Normal~
~Encouraged by OB to "just keep trying" 06/09 - 06/10 (oh, the wasted time)~
~HSG - 08/10 - Clear/Normal~
~Lapo - 01/11 - Normal~
~Clomid 50mg, Trigger shot, Prometrium - 01/11, 02/11, 03/11~
~BFN - 02/11~
~IUI #1 03/15/11~
BFP 3/28/2011
Diagnosed with GD at 28 weeks. Controlled through diet and exercise. No insulin.
Diagnosed with Cholestasis of pregnancy @ 36 weeks.
Delivered via C-section @ 36 weeks on 11/9/11.
DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d
TTC #1 unofficially since 6/09, officially since 10/10
6/11 RE testing,rt tube blocked with hydro, 8/11 lap surgery rt tl
IVF#1 10/11 Estrace,450 Follistim, 15 units low-dose HCG, DHEA - cancelled (only follie growing)
IVF#2 started stims 11/4/11 - same protocol, increase in concentration of HCG, added CoQ10, no response, cancelled on CD 12
12/2/11 began accupuncture; Break in Dec. Next cycle anticipated in Jan.
PAIF/SAIF Welcome