Nervous about reaction of birth plan

rparks8467 · December 2011

So maybe I am over reacting but I am super nervous about giving my OBGYN my birth plan on Jan. 4th. This may sound ridiculous but I am completley set on how I want this to go and because I have to deliver at a hospital I feel I might get the negative attitude from the staff because it isn't normal protocal. I am planning for a hypnobirth and will be at home as long as I can till I need to go in. I am asking for baiscis as lights dim, tub, birthing ball (which i have already confirmed that the hospital does) as well as limited montoring and exams as well as breathing down the baby and not pushing. I feel my requests are not too far fetched and this is my third time doing the birthing thing. I have had two difficult labors before and I want it my way this time but am not sure what reaction I will get. Anyone go through this before?

Jessimurph · December 2011

I am going to go through it a week after you and am very nervous as well. I am still trying to edit it down to the most important things so it's short enough to let the reader go through the bullet points quickly and not lose interest. I'm also going to ask that he not mention csection again, which he does at every appt. We'll see what kind of reception that gets...

pinksweetpea2 · December 2011

What you want is perfectly normal IMO. If your OB does not react well, then I would find another (more supportive) care provider.

Also, I would consider hiring a doula.

JaiMacreiberts · December 2011

I'm nervous too. I won't be having this conversation until February because I'll only see the Nurse Practitioner in January. Just keep in mind that YOU are delivering this child, the doctor and nursing staff are only assisting you. You hired them and the customer is always right.

One thing I read in the book "Natural Hospital Birth" that might help is to write out your birth plan with positives instead of negatives. "I would prefer to have very little monitoring." as opposed to "I do not want too much or constant monitoring."

Also be prepared to acknowledge that you know an emergency situation may arise and that you are mentally prepared for that.

Be confident, passionate and positive and I'm sure your MD will be happy to accommodate you. (Can you tell that I'm trying to convince myself at the same time I'm typing this?)

rjveldman · December 2011

I was nervous too - but mine gave it a quick look over and said - yup, looks fine. We did have serious issues over induction though. She seriously pressured me to have one and I refused. You may want to go over some of the pre-birth what-ifs with your doc. Knowing where her/his 'line in the sand' is over certain issues might be helpful. Hope that helps.

mghnmouse · December 2011

pinksweetpea2:
What you want is perfectly normal IMO. If your OB does not react well, then I would find another (more supportive) care provider.
Also, I would consider hiring a doula.

I second all of this, and would also suggest a Doula! Good luck with your conversation and I hope that your Dr is open to your plan.

rparks8467 · December 2011

Thank you all for your suggestions! I am hoping that because this is one of four hospitals that is top rated in our state for getting mothers to breastfeed and since their brochure says they strive to make it easier on mothers with aromatherapy, jacuzzi tubs, and birthing balls that they will be supportive. I have a great supported husband that has been by my side two previous births and knows what I do and what I don't want out of this delivery so I know he will also be my voice when the time comes. Lets hope all goes well

kmm2150 · December 2011

I think it's really important to keep an open mind when you talk to your doctor and not assume that they are going to shoot down everything you want. My doctor mentioned inducing somewhat early on (because of health issues with me) and it freaked me out, but when I talked with her and said I'd really like to go med-free and to let LO come on her own time if at all possible and if it's safe, she was then very supportive - we're doing lots of extra monitoring like non-stress tests, I feel like I live at the dr's office, but she now is saying as long as baby and I continue to look healthy, we'll keep waiting for her to come on her own time (at least till my due date). So many people WANT a c-section or WANT to be induced, I think it doesn't always occur to doctors that you don't want that, and all it takes is a conversation to get on the same page.

The other thing I've heard a lot about hospitals in our area, including mine (and many where I am are very baby-factory, induction and c-section happy) is that they will work with you and help you labor how you want as long as you are in control - if you start to lose it and your fear/anxiety/stress is out of control, then they have more concern for you and the baby and will take charge - I think this is where it is so important to have a strong support person with you to keep YOU calm and to speak up for your needs and wants as well.

tokenhoser · December 2011

I also had a doctor that respected my wishes and agreed with and to my birth plan. She followed that up with a birth that followed my wishes! There are lots of bad experiences out there, but there are also lots of good ones. You know what you want, so explain it to her and then be ready to have DH go to bat if necessary. Also be willing to bend on the non-essential things if need be. I tried to only push on things that were really important to me, like delayed cord clamping, rather than push on every single thing.

dosafyre · December 2011

My family practice OB was asking if I had a birth plan at about 35w...which was nice. We talked through a few things...a very back-and-forth conversation and she made me feel like she heard and understood what I was saying. I also warned my current OB I had a birth plan, and she seemed cool with it. So hopefully your doc won't be flipped out when you bring it up or write it off (if they did, I'd be worried).

gy86 · December 2011

I saw a team of CNMs who worked out of the hospital. So while their beliefs, theories, etc were all very natural-friendly, a lot of the hospital protocol was more "standard."

Rather than announce your birth plan as a series of demands, I'd take it to your OB and frame it more as a discussion. Talk about which items they can accomodate no problem, and which items may require you to accomodate them. An example: I knew I wanted minimal electronic fetal monitoring, and I DEFINITELY did not want continuous monitoring (I wanted freedom of movement, etc.) I also have a lot of anxiety when I'm strapped into anything, and so the whole idea of EFM was very stress-inducing. But because of liability issues, the hospital requires monitoring for 20 minutes on the hour. Originally in my birth plan I requested "intermittent monitoring by use of a hand-held doppler device," but my midwife pretty much said, "This here is the only one I don't think we can do for you... they need to be able to track the heartbeats & contractions and get a record of a reading." Well it turns out when I was actually in labor, the L&D nurse would just hold the sensor thing up to my belly. I wasn't strapped in once. But this was a compromise I never knew existed, and something that worked out totally fine.

I wound up forgetting my birth plan (all ten copies) in the printer tray on my way out the door. But the triage nurse was awsome and asked me if there was anything I wanted/didn't want right when I went in, and all the staff members I interacted with were totally accommodating. :-)

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