Random things I worry about as a FTM

PsyDr04 · December 2011

I'm sure most of these worries are totally irrational but the closer it gets to LO getting here, I find myself worrying about the following:

-That despite what I read and what common sense tells me, my breasts won't produce breastmilk when LO arrives (because my boobs have not changed at all).

-That I'll never be able to wear my wedding/engagement rings again without getting them resized because my fingers will stay permanently swollen.

-That I won't be able to sleep at all for months after LO arrives because I'll be so paranoid that he'll stop breathing.

-That my water will break while I'm out in public or while I'm sitting on the couch, creating a big mess.

-That the first time LO gets sick, I'll become a blubbering, crying mess because I don't want my baby to be in pain.

-That my husband will leave the baby in the car if he has to take him somewhere if I'm not available (I feel REALLY bad about thinking this because my husband is very intelligent and quite capable; I'm just one of those people that thinks if I don't do something no one else will and sometimes my husband overlooks things if he is focused on something else).

What do you ladies worry about?

jason&robin · December 2011

I have thought the same thing about DH. I think it's pretty normal. DH rarely takes the kids anywhere by himself...even after 4 years so I always worry that it's just not on his mind. It's never happened though so try to relax!

This is #3 for me. I am worried about not having enough hands. How much work it will take to go anywhere. I don't think I will be as will to just randomly get out of the house. I am concerned about how things will work out with getting DS to school every day. We have to walk about a 1/2 round trip x 2 times a day. It's been tiresome enough with a 4yo and 2yo so now I get to strap on a NB and hoof it in the snow.

I am sure it will all work out...I just need to have her come home and then we can re-establish a new schedule.

LanaLoves · December 2011

PsyDr04:

I'm sure most of these worries are totally irrational but the closer it gets to LO getting here, I find myself worrying about the following:

-That despite what I read and what common sense tells me, my breasts won't produce breastmilk when LO arrives (because my boobs have not changed at all).

-That I'll never be able to wear my wedding/engagement rings again without getting them resized because my fingers will stay permanently swollen.

-That I won't be able to sleep at all for months after LO arrives because I'll be so paranoid that he'll stop breathing.

-That my water will break while I'm out in public or while I'm sitting on the couch, creating a big mess.

-That the first time LO gets sick, I'll become a blubbering, crying mess because I don't want my baby to be in pain.

-That my husband will leave the baby in the car if he has to take him somewhere if I'm not available (I feel REALLY bad about thinking this because my husband is very intelligent and quite capable; I'm just one of those people that thinks if I don't do something no one else will and sometimes my husband overlooks things if he is focused on something else).

What do you ladies worry about?

Ditto I will add that I worry about other people carrying him already and dropping him. So stupid but I just worry!

mrs.larry · December 2011

I worry about a lot of things. And I'm not a FTM. I worry I won't know I'm in labor since all I've ever felt are pitocin contractions. I worry that my 2yo will suffer because I won't be able to give him as much attention. That my patience will completely evaporate and never come back.

That I'll lose my ever-loving mind.

I will say that I used to be really really scared of the first time DS got sick. I thought I would totally lose it. but when it finally happened, something switched on inside me and I became super mom and totally calm and collected and just took care of it. I'm sure the same will happen with you.

bpwife&mama · December 2011

FTM mom here too- I worry that when he cries I won't know what he needs.

That I am going to have PPD since I don't have any friends or family to help me or keep me company when DH goes back to work.

Ditto the water breaking part, I still keep hoping it will happen on the toilet or shower so I don't have a mess to clean up!

AnnaBanana0327 · December 2011

PsyDr04:
I'm sure most of these worries are totally irrational but the closer it gets to LO getting here, I find myself worrying about the following:

-That despite what I read and what common sense tells me, my breasts won't produce breastmilk when LO arrives (because my boobs have not changed at all).
**. Mine never leaked and barely even got any bigger when I was pregnant with DD- I nursed for 7 months. I also found that I didn't leak much after my supply evened out. I never used the breast pads that other moms have to keep in around the clock. It was nice!

-That I'll never be able to wear my wedding/engagement rings again without getting them resized because my fingers will stay permanently swollen.

** I had mine back on within 2 weeks. I was pissed when they didn't fit immediately though.
-That I won't be able to sleep at all for months after LO arrives because I'll be so paranoid that he'll stop breathing.
** This may happen. But you get used to lack of sleep.

-That my water will break while I'm out in public or while I'm sitting on the couch, creating a big mess.
** mine broke in the hospital with DD but I worry about this now. I'm terrified it will break while I'm at work!

-That the first time LO gets sick, I'll become a blubbering, crying mess because I don't want my baby to be in pain.
** You'll just go into "mom mode" and take care of your baby.

-That my husband will leave the baby in the car if he has to take him somewhere if I'm not available (I feel REALLY bad about thinking this because my husband is very intelligent and quite capable; I'm just one of those people that thinks if I don't do something no one else will and sometimes my husband overlooks things if he is focused on something else).
** I'm no help here. Since I do daycare drop off 99% of the time I'm paranoid about this too. DH always texts me after he does drop off because I get anxiety if he doesn't. Better safe than sorry!!

What do you ladies worry about?
** I was terrified I'd go into labor just before Christmas and miss Christmas morning with DD. only need to make it one more day and he can come out.

nothingbuthappy · December 2011

As a second time mom I can assure you...you probably will worry about all of these things and so, so much more...and you'll be powerless against these worries...and none of them will come to fruition so all of this worrying will be for naught! Welcome to motherhood!!!! Lol

theaterbahai · December 2011

Same stuff! I am also a FTM and I worry that I won't be able to teach her some of the things my mother taught me because I will be a working mom. My mom stayed home, so we were very lucky to have her on call. I know it is a bit down the road, but it gets to me sometimes. I also worry about not knowing when I am going into labor. There are just so many pains, and contraction-like feelings, that it is hard to tell what is really going on sometimes.

FarmvilleLover · December 2011

Omg I share so many of these with you! THese are my main anxieties:

- that I'll drop it =(

- I won't produce milk or baby won't BF

- that we won't save enough money for its future

- that if I vaginally birth, sex won't ever be the same.

ajponder1 · December 2011

FarmvilleLover:

Omg I share so many of these with you! THese are my main anxieties:

- that I'll drop it =(

- I won't produce milk or baby won't BF

- that we won't save enough money for its future

- that if I vaginally birth, sex won't ever be the same.

These!!

pcrock92 · December 2011

I worry about my water breaking in public, too. My mom got my SO and I a new sheet set for Christmas and we put it on and he said, "once you put those new sheets on I bet your water will break all over them!" He's a weird one. I also worry that our relationship is going to suffer after LO gets here. Like we just wont get along any more or i wont lose the weight and he wont find me as attractive any more (I sound pitiful, I know). I also worry that I wont be able to finish school. These are all pretty selfish but they've been on my mind lately! (Sorry for lack of paragraphs, I'm on my phone!)

PsyDr04 · December 2011

Well ladies, I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one worrying about some of these things (not that I really thought I was). DH told me today that he was worried about things in the future - like would he be able to teach LO all the things he needs to know as a young man. That's really the first time he has ever shared his concerns with me. He tends not to share his feelings much and hasn't really told me how he feels about LO coming, though I know he's happy about it, so I was glad that he opened up about that. I know he'll be a great dad, although when we got home tonight from being out of town, he got grossed out because the cat had thrown up and he made me clean it up. I asked him what he thinks he's gonna do when the baby spits up and poops. Men.... Wink

theladyjess · December 2011

To ease your fears about your water breaking and making a huge mess go get puppy piddle pads. Put a pad on each chair you sit in regularly, on your car seat, under your bed sheet, etc. If your water breaks it will absorb the fluid and you can just throw it in the trash. You can also wear an incontence or menstural pad in your underware the closer you get to your EDD in case of your water breaking while out and about (you'll need the pads post delivery anyway).

Any puppy pads that are left after LO arrives can be thrown into the diaper bag and used to cover the changing table in public restrooms. Once LO is changed, wrap the dirty diaper in the piddle pad and throw the whole thing in the trash. The piddle pads are bigger than most changing pads that come with diaper bags, covering most of the changing table, and who wants to put a changing pad back in the diaper bag after it's come in contact with those nasty changing tables. God only knows when the last time those things were cleaned/disinfected!

PsyDr04 · December 2011

theladyjess:

To ease your fears about your water breaking and making a huge mess go get puppy piddle pads. Put a pad on each chair you sit in regularly, on your car seat, under your bed sheet, etc. If your water breaks it will absorb the fluid and you can just throw it in the trash. You can also wear an incontence or menstural pad in your underware the closer you get to your EDD in case of your water breaking while out and about (you'll need the pads post delivery anyway).

Any puppy pads that are left after LO arrives can be thrown into the diaper bag and used to cover the changing table in public restrooms. Once LO is changed, wrap the dirty diaper in the piddle pad and throw the whole thing in the trash. The piddle pads are bigger than most changing pads that come with diaper bags, covering most of the changing table, and who wants to put a changing pad back in the diaper bag after it's come in contact with those nasty changing tables. God only knows when the last time those things were cleaned/disinfected!

I have definitely been planning on getting the puppy pads and putting them places where I sit. I also appreciate your advice about bringing the extras along in the diaper bag to use in public restrooms. Great idea! I told my MIL that I wanted a waterproof mattress pad cover for our bed in case my water breaks at night and she got me one for Xmas, so hopefully that will be sufficient.

Question - are pads or Depends more effective for water breaking and postpartum issues? Do you have an opinion on that or does anyone else? I hate to be walking around wearing a pad or Depends for the next 2-3 weeks because pads chafe me so bad, but I guess it's better than having my water break in the grocery store and having to call for a cleanup in aisle 3! LOL.

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