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I could really use advice from you ladies right now... (ticker warning)

learningfromlifelearningfromlife
in Late Term and Child Loss

I really hope you ladies don't mind me posting my question but I need some help figuring out the best way to handle the loss of a close relatives child.

My cousins baby was found unresponsive this morning at about 8 am and was rushed to the hospital but he was gone before they found him. He had vomited in his sleep and aspirated it into his lungs. Our whole family is crushed right now. While I have lost an infant sister I have never lost a child so I cannot fathom what my cousin is going through right now. We all went up to the hospital to be with her and say our goodbyes. I'm just numb right now and I have no idea what to do. I was at the hospital right after this little guy was born and I was at the hospital today right after he died.

My primary focus is comforting her the best I can and trying to make sure she does not blame herself. Her boyfriend is who found the baby (he just turned 2 a couple of months ago) and he's completely devastated.

Do you have any advice on how I can be the most help right now? I am pretty close with her and another cousin so me and the other cousin are going to get together and make up some meals for her this week so she doesn't have to think about that on top of everything else but I will accept ANY suggestions on what I can do to help (I know nothing will ever be good enough because nothing I can do will bring him back but I want to be there for her as much as I can)


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DD1- 12/26/05 DD2- 4/12/12
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Re: I could really use advice from you ladies right now... (ticker warning)

  • AmyG2bAmyG2b member
    I'm sorry for her loss and applaud your kind heart. Obviously everyone deals with this differently, but if you are very close to her, I would go and sit with her. I wanted my close friends and family to be there with me, just so I didn't feel alone. I cried a lot and wondered out loud, and my friends just hugged me and let me do it as much as I needed. Read our list of what not to say or do. Maybe clean, cook, water the flowers, take care of pets, etc. Don't ask what you can do for her because she won't know- just choose something and do it. 
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  • pottermommypottermommy member

    My DD was also 2 when she passed away.  First I am so so so sorry.  Nothing can prepare a parent for that, and nothing can make anything better.  I second PP, just pick something and do it.  Try and make sure there isn't stuff for her to have to do. Cleaning was awesome, read the clicky's at the top of the page they fit in pretty well.

    And please invite her here.  I wish I had known about this site sooner.  I refuse counseling, it isn't for me at all and I wish I had this support then.

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  • krissywavekrissywave member
    I am sorry for your families loss.  My suggestion is to just be there for her.  Give her someone to lean on.  Some times words dont have to be said.  Just the fact that someone is there is always a positive
    April 10 IUI BFN Sept 10 IUI BRN Feb 11 IVF hoping for a BFP! Feb 27 ER 28 eggs Mar 4 8 health eggs, 2 ET Mar 17 - Beta 180!! BFP!!! Mar 21 - Beta 1295!! holy cow what a jump Coming soon 1st Sono March 30!!! Crossing fingers for healthy stick bean(s) Mar 29 miscarry :( 6w 3d 2nd IVF July 2011 BFP July 2011 M/C 11/11/11 hate to say good bye again! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 3rd IVF 4/3/12 ER 46 eggs (holly cow batman) 40 mature, 36 fertilized 4/8/12 ET 2 AB put back 4/10/12 15 make it to FREEZE 4/22/12 Beta BFN 1st FET 6/7/12 Day we are going to put back 2. 6/21/12 BFP 1285 6/25/12 4780 I hope this time they stick!! Deaglan William welcome. My rainbow is finally here February 7, 2013
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