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Custody/support questions

BeachBlondie456BeachBlondie456 member
in Single Parents
Hi, new here. I am thinking of leaving my husband for numerous reasons, I'll spare you all the details unles you have questions. Basically my concerns are custody. My LO is three months old, and I do not agree with his parenting. Since she was two weeks old he tells me to let her cry it out, he doesn't want me to hold her all the time, and he has shoved her at me once before. She screams and cries whenever he holds her. He does not ever take care of her so I can only imagine him being alone with her would be a nightmare. He also has history of minor abuse towards me but it is not documented. I would rather stay in my miserable situation where I can always be around when he is there with her than have him take her. That being said, What are the chances of him getting rights where he can take her without me? I EBF and she refuses a bottle, so how does that work? Also, I moved and quit my job to be with him, if I file for divorce do I need to seek employment or will I get spousal support? I am new to all of this so advice is appreciated. Also, I know he honestly doesn't care if he ever sees her or not but I'm sure he will try to get her just to upset me. I need advice.
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Re: Custody/support questions

  • MsJosieMsJosie
    I'm sorry I don't really have advice for you but I wish you all the best. I was in a similar situation. Minor abuse from my ex boyfriend while I was pregnant and he even offered me 25k to have an abortion and said he will NEVER change a diaper Thats what I'm there for. However, he filed for custody of her and I was an emotional wreck. He never showed up for our court date and the judge dismissed his petition so he has no rights to her what so ever. He just does whatever he can to get a rise out of me and make me upset. I did file child support and got an order put in already. You can request that he takes parenting classes on taking care of a baby, bathing, changing diapers, etc. Also, you can request supervised visitation to start. Just stay strong for your LO, fight for her, and know your rights! Good luck!
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  • sweetie0228sweetie0228 member

     

    1.       There is no minor abuse.  It?s abuse.  Does it make you feel bad about yourself?  Are you in pain either emotionally or physically? Stop rationalizing and believing any of it is your fault. HEALTHY Relationships are supposed to build you up and support you not drag you down and doubt yourself.

     

    2.       You are married he will have the same rights to the child as you do.  But he may be granted frequent daily visits rather than overnights...depends on the judge.

     

    3.       You can file for Child support and you can file for spousal support but it depends on your state if spousal support is granted.

     

    4.       Get a lawyer and protect yourself, your child and your assets...including but not limited to:  your portion of the house, your portion of the bank account

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  • Annya26Annya26 member

    I may not be the best to give advice here since I haven't been through it yet, however here's my opinion fwiw.

    As the PP said, abuse is abuse. It will continue, and it will likely transition onto your daughter. Even if it doesn't, and you stay, she grows up in a home where that is the norm and that is all she will expect for herself in the future. Not a good situation, so I would do whatever you have to do to get OUT. 

    Get a lawyer, document everything and I wish you ALL the best with moving forward! 

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