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perry7285
member
question about early toddler language development and behavior management
perry7285
member
so i'm reading my first toddler parenting book, "the happiest toddler on the block". and i'm realizing that it TOTALLY rests on the assumption that your toddler has a pretty big vocabulary. even though he advocates using only one to two word sentences when a toddler is upset, he still assumes that the child knows the words for all of the emotions and for all of the relevant verbs and nouns.
i know kids that age understand a lot more than they can say, but how can you tell how much they understand? DS is going to be slow with language since we are raising him with three languages, and i'm worried it's going to make things a lot harder for him if he doesn't understand enough language to understand a discussion of what's going on when he's upset. so far he is only SAYING one word, and we haven't had any luck with sign language.
rambling post, but anyway . . . any thoughts on early toddler language development, and how you guessed when your kid understood words like "mad", "sad", "no hitting", etc.? any thoughts on how to adapt general toddler discipline ideas to a kid that doesn't understand language yet?
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Re: question about early toddler language development and behavior management
I was always amazed by how much Garrison understood. I feel like she was actually a little slow/behind on speaking compared to some of my friend's kids but I think she always understood most of what I said.
I'm not sure that she totally grasped emotions (heck, I think she still struggles with that one)-- but she understood timeout, "no" (even though we rarely use(d) it), and she learned quickly what she was supposed to do and not supposed to do. She got that if she threw food she was going to go to timeout and learned to throw food when she was done eating so she could get up-- so before she knew she could just say up. So, I would say they understand a lot.
She understood way before she said anything.
And she got time-outs by about 15-18 months. The whole deprivation of something fun to do was enough to sink in.
Toodle has understood 90% of what we say for well over a year now. I remember being amazed when I realized it because I said something like "do you want to go take a bath"? and he nodded and took my hand and walked me to the bathroom, and little things like that kept happening. Emotions I only knew he got when he started using the words for them at the appropriate times, maybe 6 - 8 months ago?
FWIW, I found that book worthless anyway. We tried it with Toodle and I know with 100% certainty that he understands the emotions, what I'm saying, et cetera, but he just gets even angrier when I try the methods the book prescribes. He doesn't care if I empathize and reflect his mood, he wants whatever it is that the denial thereof caused the tantrum and only getting that or time is going to diffuse the situation. Every kid is different though, some swear by it, but it's certainly not a one size fits all approach to the same extent the infant book was.
From teaching my kids to sign, I've learned that they understand almost everything we say to them. They may just not be able to communicate back to you with words.
Your job is going to be to label their emotions when they have them. When there's a temper tantrum, you'll say "oh I see you are mad/sad/frustrated." When they're having fun, you say "I see you are happy." etc... Once you start labeling emotions, they can get a handle on understanding them and getting a hold of them. You can also play games like, "this is my happy face... this is my sad face, etc.
Expressive language and receptive language are two completely different things. Some kids are great with both, some with one or the other.
Reed understood what I was saying early on, but he didn't have any words at 18 months. If I asked him to go get his empty sippy and put it on the table, he would. You can figure out how much they are grasping receptively through play.
As far as expressive language....using one word repetitively will help him to express himself and copy your words. Like up, milk, hug, mom, boom!, car, go!, etc.
I made the mistake of thinking that since he could understand everything I said, that I could always talk to him in complete sentences. It wasn't until I started to use one word over and over and over and over that he was able to use his expressive speech more.