Hitting

shamwari · December 2011

DS is now 2 years and 3 months old. For the past 5 months or so we have had problems with him hitting - just us, fortunately not others (but who knows if that is what is coming!). I feel like I have tried everything to get him to stop and I am at the end of my tether. We do not smack him, so I am not sure where he gets it from as he is not in daycare. We have tried time out (immediately became a game), I have tried shouting, tried a calm voice, tried ignoring it, ignoring him, teaching him new words to try to get him to express how he is feeling - so far nothing seems to be working. He does it when he has to do something he does not want to do, so it stems from frustration pretty much always. I would LOVE some help, is anyone else there facing this issue? What has helped, or is this a phase we simply have to wait out...(please no!)

dragon_chica · December 2011

This seems to be a very typical phase for this age since you aren't the first hitting post I've seen on here. DD does this at times too and like your LO it's usually out of frustration and/or anger. I don't know how well this works for us but when does do it this is our usual response.

- exaggerated surprise (not anger)

- we say, "DD! That's not ok!"

- kneel down to her level, usually take her hands in mine's, and say, "DD no hit mama. Mama sad. If DD mad then DD tell mama that you are sad."

I can't say yet if it's working although I will say that the hitting isn't a constant occurrence. I've also started being more in tune to the moment she's about to get upset and try to curb it. But in the end, I know we just need to keep doing what we're doing and eventually this too shall pass.

Torani · December 2011

We tell him that it hurts and then put him in time out. When he is done, he has to say sorry and hug the person he hit, as well as kiss their "boo boo." This usually works for a few days, and over time he hits a little less, but it's an ongoing process. Mostly it's getting him to understand that he hurt someone and that he has to apologize.

CountryMile · December 2011

I would tell him we do not hit that we use soft hands. I would then show him how to use soft hands. Soft hands is just a soft touch. So gently take his hands and say, 'soft hands'. That worked great for us.

AmandaP678 · December 2011

I could have written this exact post myself! I was actually just about to write the same post! I'm at my ends wits I don't know what to do. Nothing seems to work. If we pretend to cry he laughs and does it more, if we ignore it he does it again, if we put him in time out he does it again...He does it when he's bored, he does it when he's not bored, he does it when he's mad/happy/content, when he has 1:1. There is no known reason to why he hits! It's so frustrating.

We may have the same son. His hitting also started around 5-6 months ago when I was still pregnant. I could still be some built up resentment towards Nick, but who knows. His other issue is he still doesn't talk so that doesn't help either.

GoombaGirl_79 · December 2011

Torani:
We tell him that it hurts and then put him in time out. When he is done, he has to say sorry and hug the person he hit, as well as kiss their "boo boo." This usually works for a few days, and over time he hits a little less, but it's an ongoing process. Mostly it's getting him to understand that he hurt someone and that he has to apologize.

This is about what we do. DS has started hitting a bit lately.. I think it's part of him adjusting to having a new baby brother. He doesn't hit hard but he says "hitting mommy" and kind of pat/hits me on the head or arm.

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