what's so wrong with BFing in a fitting room?

mlf625 · December 2011

I just read the article (linked below) about the mother who said she was harassed about nursing in Target, so she's organizing a Target nurse-in. She apparently didn't want to use the fitting room, as was suggested by an employee. I GET not nursing in a bathroom - that's disgusting. I wouldn't have fed my bottle fed baby in a bathroom. But if I was in Target, I'd frequently pull the baby into a fitting room and feed there - it was quieter, the baby was less distracted, I wasn't in anyone's way, and it gave me a chance to get off my feet, anyway. I'm guessing she's just more PO'd about being hassled by employees ... which I can see. But is it just the principle of the matter? Or what's so wrong with discreetly feeding in a fitting room?

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/19/target-nurse-in_n_1158595.html

joyco · December 2011

I didn't BF and I don't have problems with people who do, unless they're being overt about it (like full boobage reveal or something, which, yes, I've seen and cannot unsee, damn it). I would think a fitting room would be a perfect spot for all the reasons you say. Makes sense to me! Where else would you nurse? I mean, it's not like Target has chairs just spread throughout the store... Guess I should read the article?

meg120510 · December 2011

I didn't read the article, but I nurse DS in fitting rooms when needed. I'm down with it.

flymansWife · December 2011

fitting rooms are my go to feeding spot! i don't get what's wrong with a fitting room either

Temp13436125005166 · December 2011

I would and did nurse in a fitting room. I liked the privacy and less distractions. But that said she shouldn't be harassed about moving to one if she's nursing somewhere in the store. To quote the article:

"Briefly I will say that 2 female employees came and verbally asked me to move. The 2nd one told me that Target employees had been told/trained to interrupt nursing and to redirect mothers to the fitting rooms. Even after I informed the 2nd employee of my legal right to nurse in public she still suggested me moving closer to the jean display, turning to face another direction, and also turn my basket a certain way which would have put me practically underneath the jean display and totally barricaded me in. Employee #2 even hinted in a threatening way 'you can get a ticket and be reported for indecent exposure.'"

Being treated like that would anger me too.

ETA: mlf I just re-read your post and realized you said pretty much the same thing :-)

balihaigirl · December 2011

I don't think there's anything wrong w/ nursing in a fitting room - I would prefer to do that than to nurse out in the store itself. However, what angered the mom was that she was interrupted in the middle of her nursing session and asked to move. She has the right to nurse when and where she wants. I think that's what bothered her. If I was in her situation, I would have been offended, as well.

Noisemaker · December 2011

Michelle&Russ:
I would and did nurse in a fitting room. I liked the privacy and less distractions. But that said she shouldn't be harassed about moving to one if she's nursing somewhere in the store. To quote the article:

"Briefly I will say that 2 female employees came and verbally asked me to move. The 2nd one told me that Target employees had been told/trained to interrupt nursing and to redirect mothers to the fitting rooms. Even after I informed the 2nd employee of my legal right to nurse in public she still suggested me moving closer to the jean display, turning to face another direction, and also turn my basket a certain way which would have put me practically underneath the jean display and totally barricaded me in. Employee #2 even hinted in a threatening way 'you can get a ticket and be reported for indecent exposure.'"

Being treated like that would anger me too.

ETA: mlf I just re-read your post and you said pretty much the same thing :-)

Yep, ditto all of this.

MrsMillerTime · December 2011

I'm impressed that she found a quiet place to sit down and nurse her kiddo in Target that *wasn't* in the fitting room. I mean, was she sitting on the display couches in the home furniture aisle?

Taytee · December 2011

I think it's just the principle of the matter. I too have breastfed in many a dressing room but I would stand up for being told I HAD to.

Mrs.Purdue · December 2011

MrsMillerTime:
I'm impressed that she found a quiet place to sit down and nurse her kiddo in Target that *wasn't* in the fitting room. I mean, was she sitting on the display couches in the home furniture aisle?

From the quote, it sounds like she just popped a squat in the clothing section (since they were asking her to scoot closer to the jeans). Would I be allowed to just randomly sit in the middle of the floor of the clothes section, without a baby? my guess is that someone would ask me to move - since I'd be impeding traffic and completely in the way. Seems like BFers usually want to be treated like everyone else (they should be allowed to feed in a restaurant, on a bus, whatever), so I imagine she WAS being treated like everyone else in this instance and didn't like it.

granted, maybe (probably?) the tone and words the employees used weren't correct, but in general, I don't think anyone should be allowed to just sit down in the middle of traffic and do anything - nurse a child, give my feet a rest, eat a sandwich, etc.

Mainer-in-Texas · December 2011

Michelle&Russ:
I would and did nurse in a fitting room. I liked the privacy and less distractions. But that said she shouldn't be harassed about moving to one if she's nursing somewhere in the store. To quote the article:

"Briefly I will say that 2 female employees came and verbally asked me to move. The 2nd one told me that Target employees had been told/trained to interrupt nursing and to redirect mothers to the fitting rooms. Even after I informed the 2nd employee of my legal right to nurse in public she still suggested me moving closer to the jean display, turning to face another direction, and also turn my basket a certain way which would have put me practically underneath the jean display and totally barricaded me in. Employee #2 even hinted in a threatening way 'you can get a ticket and be reported for indecent exposure.'"

Being treated like that would anger me too.

ETA: mlf I just re-read your post and realized you said pretty much the same thing :-)

All of this.

HSartteach · December 2011

Mrs.Purdue:
MrsMillerTime:
I'm impressed that she found a quiet place to sit down and nurse her kiddo in Target that *wasn't* in the fitting room. I mean, was she sitting on the display couches in the home furniture aisle?
From the quote, it sounds like she just popped a squat in the clothing section (since they were asking her to scoot closer to the jeans). Would I be allowed to just randomly sit in the middle of the floor of the clothes section, without a baby? my guess is that someone would ask me to move - since I'd be impeding traffic and completely in the way. Seems like BFers usually want to be treated like everyone else (they should be allowed to feed in a restaurant, on a bus, whatever), so I imagine she WAS being treated like everyone else in this instance and didn't like it.

I didn't get the impression that she just sat down. She said she found a quiet spot. She may have been standing, looking at clothes. Maybe there weren't a lot of people in that section at the time, so she thought it was a perfect opportunity. She may have been meandering aimlessly through that section.

MrsMillerTime · December 2011

HSartteach:
Mrs.Purdue:
MrsMillerTime:
I'm impressed that she found a quiet place to sit down and nurse her kiddo in Target that *wasn't* in the fitting room. I mean, was she sitting on the display couches in the home furniture aisle?
From the quote, it sounds like she just popped a squat in the clothing section (since they were asking her to scoot closer to the jeans). Would I be allowed to just randomly sit in the middle of the floor of the clothes section, without a baby? my guess is that someone would ask me to move - since I'd be impeding traffic and completely in the way. Seems like BFers usually want to be treated like everyone else (they should be allowed to feed in a restaurant, on a bus, whatever), so I imagine she WAS being treated like everyone else in this instance and didn't like it.
I didn't get the impression that she just sat down. She said she found a quiet spot. She may have been standing, looking at clothes. Maybe there weren't a lot of people in that section at the time, so she thought it was a perfect opportunity. She may have been meandering aimlessly through that section.

I don't buy that. If she was standing/walking/meandering and nursing her kid at the same time then there shouldn't have been a problem for her to meander her asss over to the fitting rooms. If she had been sitting down on the floor, then I agree with Mrs.Purdue - regardless of whether or not she was nursing, she probably would have been asked to move.

I'm all for a mother's right to NIP wherever she feels like it, but common courtesy when you're in a public place and could (potentially) be in someone's way still applies. Find a place dedicated for sitting (i.e. - find a chair meant for your butt) and have at it. And let's not forget that nursing on the floor of a Target is also gross.

Mainer-in-Texas · December 2011

MrsMillerTime:
HSartteach:
Mrs.Purdue:
MrsMillerTime:
I'm impressed that she found a quiet place to sit down and nurse her kiddo in Target that *wasn't* in the fitting room. I mean, was she sitting on the display couches in the home furniture aisle?
From the quote, it sounds like she just popped a squat in the clothing section (since they were asking her to scoot closer to the jeans). Would I be allowed to just randomly sit in the middle of the floor of the clothes section, without a baby? my guess is that someone would ask me to move - since I'd be impeding traffic and completely in the way. Seems like BFers usually want to be treated like everyone else (they should be allowed to feed in a restaurant, on a bus, whatever), so I imagine she WAS being treated like everyone else in this instance and didn't like it.
I didn't get the impression that she just sat down. She said she found a quiet spot. She may have been standing, looking at clothes. Maybe there weren't a lot of people in that section at the time, so she thought it was a perfect opportunity. She may have been meandering aimlessly through that section.
I don't buy that. If she was standing/walking/meandering and nursing her kid at the same time then there shouldn't have been a problem for her to meander her asss over to the fitting rooms.

But I think the point is that the Target employees shouldn't have asked her to move in the first place, even if she could have easily done so.

I agree that, if she was sitting on the floor blocking an aisle, yeah, they had the right to ask her to move.

Chicklit · December 2011

An excerpt from her letter to Best For Babes website says this: "...

so I found a remote area of the store in the ladies clothing department close to the fitting rooms and sat Indian style on the floor next to my basket and a display of jeans and nursed my hungry baby with a blanket completely covering him." So, yeah, asking her to move sounds to me more like a safety precaution than an "ew, breast feeding is gross" thing. I would be worried a distracted customer would trip over

her or otherwise cause injury to her or the child.

fjaril · December 2011

I don't think it's cool to sit on the floor and do it, but I've been asked to hurry/interrupted repeatedly in dressing rooms. I've also been told I can't go in w/out clothes to try on.

I've also seen poop and pee and dirty diapers in dressing rooms at target.

No thank you to being pushed into one just to be bothered the whole time (assuming it's not gross).

I usually would just walk and nurse. I'd never sit on the floor and think that is ok.

L L CG · December 2011

I walked around Dillard's once with Alice in the moby and nursed. She was teeny so I don't think anyone noticed.

I also nursed in so many fitting rooms I can't remember them all.

I think what happened here was that the Tarjay peeps, although perhaps justified in offering her a different place to nurse, were being beotches and getting attitude about it, so then she reacted all, "I KNOW MY RIGHTS!" THB, knowing me (and, you know me too well), I prob would have puffed up and done the same thing. Lawyer LL would have come out. She not nice.

eta: But, I would never, ever, EVER organize or participate in a nurse-in. Nursing is for feeding my baby, not for making a political statement. Sternly worded letters? Sure.

bluestreet · December 2011

I've done the exact same thing as this woman when I was at Costco, half-way done shopping. I was discrete, off to the side, and I didn't get any overt side-eyes. Just a few "right on" smiles. It was awesome. It doesn't sound as though the issue was her impeding traffic, given that the employees were told to redirect nursing specifically. I wonder what would happen if she's been sitting in the concession area, where there are seats. The obvious solution is to have an occassional chair or bench to nurse or bottle feed babies in. Nurse-ins aren't my style, but I appreciate the fuss other women have made to make our culture more accepting of nursing in public.

MrsAJL · December 2011

There is nothing wrong with breastfeeding in a fitting room or anywhere a mother is comfortable doing so. There is something wrong with being expected to hide away to breastfeed.

The issue is not breastfeeding in public. The issue is being told to breastfeed somewhere hidden so as to accommodate the comfort level of others.

I breastfed Molly in the big cushy chairs by the magazine section at Barnes and Noble on Brodie. Two employees were near by shelving books. As I was nursing her (not under a cover, but there was no appreciable breast exposure), I quietly asked, "Is this OK?" They both looked at me very confused and one said, "Is what OK?" Apparently, it's either a non-issue or they really didn't know I was nursing her.

However, if they had told me to cover up or to move somewhere less obvious, I would have been furious. No store employee or manager would EVER tell a bottle feeding mother to move to a hidden location to feed her baby.

L L CG · December 2011

bluestreet:
I've done the exact same thing as this woman when I was at Costco, half-way done shopping. I was discrete, off to the side, and I didn't get any overt side-eyes. Just a few "right on" smiles. It was awesome. It doesn't sound as though the issue was her impeding traffic, given that the employees were told to redirect nursing specifically. I wonder what would happen if she's been sitting in the concession area, where there are seats. The obvious solution is to have an occassional chair or bench to nurse or bottle feed babies in. Nurse-ins aren't my style, but I appreciate the fuss other women have made to make our culture more accepting of nursing in public.

Me, too! I do think news stories like these help. I think the nurse-ins give the naysayers fodder, though. I imagine that 30 women bf'ing at once just makes naysayers point and shake their heads rather than change their minds.

HSartteach · December 2011

Chicklit:
An excerpt from her letter to Best For Babes website says this: "...
so I found a remote area of the store in the ladies clothing department close to the fitting rooms and sat Indian style on the floor next to my basket and a display of jeans and nursed my hungry baby with a blanket completely covering him." So, yeah, asking her to move sounds to me more like a safety precaution than an "ew, breast feeding is gross" thing. I would be worried a distracted customer would trip over
her or otherwise cause injury to her or the child.

So, I take my other comment back. In my reading of the article, I did not automatically assume she parked her a$$ on the floor of a target. I can admit when I made a mistake.

In this case, I do agree that they probably asked her to move due to being on the floor--not necessarily because she was breast feeding.

SaraLouiseBride08 · December 2011

First of all, I want to get it out there that I don't think it's okay for the employees to be rude, and I don't think it's okay to be pushed into breastfeeding in private. I've fed my baby all over this state, and a couple times I'm sure I exposed msyelf. I think that's my right.

Next, I'm going to make a judgement and an ASSumption. I think it's possible this lady is one of those women who is already up in arms and all about her right to BF in public. And so maybe when she was confronted, it escalated quickly.

I think it's just weird that she sat on the floor (gross) in the clothing section of a store to BF. And right next to the fitting rooms, at that. I love fitting rooms. It's like my own little BFing sanctuary!

And to start on "nurse in" over one incident? Confused I'm with LL - right a letter. We can all make BFing more acceptable one person at a time. This was a good chance for her to help that store understand and accept breastfeeding. Now she just has a bunch of people rolling their eyes and annoyed.

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