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Toddlers and sharing

WinesNotWhinesWinesNotWhines
in D.C. Area Babies
I have a feeling this is one of those things that takes kids YEARS to really learn and not freak out about, because I hear parents talk about their school-aged kids not being good at sharing. So how do you deal with it in the meantime, if your kid is "fighting" for a toy with another kid?

What if, say, your kid is playing with a toy, puts it down or drops it for a second, other kid walks over and grabs it, and your kid freaks out and tries to grab it back? Do you give the toy back to the other kid and let your kid have a temper tantrum while trying to explain the concept of sharing, which is what happened to me yesterday? Or is there some better alternative?
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Re: Toddlers and sharing

  • SoonToBeMrsDTSSoonToBeMrsDTS member

    Yes it will be something you're teaching him for years! My kids are 3 and 5 and we still have days where they'll tug of war over a toy. A friend who works with preschoolers told me that the best thing to do is distract them with something else and tell them "______ is having a turn with that toy now. In a few minutes it will be your turn again. Let's play with this until then". If my kid grabs something from another kid, I always take it and give it back to the kid because I want them to know that it's never ok to snatch something from someone else. Sharing is a hard, especially for the under 2 kids. 

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  • kbalbkbalb

    I usually just tell her that she had a turn with the toy and now it is other child's turn.  If there is something else nearby, I'll distract her with that.  Sometimes the distraction works, sometimes it doesn't.  When it doesn't I'll tell her that she needs to be patient and she can get her turn again.

    On a side note, this usually happens to us at the park with the slide/swings.  I got really proud of her the other day when a 5 year-old cut in front of her to use the slide and she says loudly  to him "No, Boy, it's DS's turn now."

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  • kbalbkbalb
    Duplicate post.  Sorry!
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  • tracy042206tracy042206
    In our house if you drop it then it is fair game for anyone to pick up.  If you want it back you can ask the other kid to take turns but that other kid is not obliged to do so.  It is a TO for ripping toys out of other people's hands.  In your case I would have explained that the other kid was playing with it now and asked the other kid to take turns but otherwise just dealt with the meltdown like any other - attempt to comfort and if that fails then it is a calm down timeout which we do once they are old enough to start learning how to calm themselves down and are old enough to hurt us or themselves while throwing such tantrums.
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  • smacbsmacb
    I'm constantly telling DS to share.  He's better at this age (3.5) then he was when he was younger.  He gets the concept, but it does seem that when there's a group of kids, they always want to play with the same toy.
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