When to tell family

lzygrl42 · December 2011

I am 5 weeks pregnant. Since it is Christmas time, DH and I are contiplating whether or not to tell the family. Everyone always says to wait becuase what if you have a miscarriage? but don't we want the support of our family if we do?

This is our first child, we are very excited but not sure which way to go. We do want to tell family and then wait to tell friends when I am closer to 12 weeks.

TravelSnob · December 2011

lzygrl42:

I am 5 weeks pregnant. Since it is Christmas time, DH and I are contiplating whether or not to tell the family. Everyone always says to wait becuase what if you have a miscarriage? but don't we want the support of our family if we do?

This is our first child, we are very excited but not sure which way to go. We do want to tell family and then wait to tell friends when I am closer to 12 weeks.

That decision is up to you. Some people would rather deal with it themselves (like me) and some would want support from family (DH).

lcg81 · December 2011

We rarely see my in laws so we told them at Thanksgiving, even though I was only six weeks along. I made it clear that I really didn't want to talk about it until 12 weeks, but that was my issue. I would have also told my own parents that early if I had seen them in person. Anyway, I think you have sort of answered your own question- tell people who you would want support from if something went wrong.

Ladiebug710 · December 2011

It is a big decision. With my first pregnancy we had only told my mother (at 6 weeks). I lost that baby at 10 weeks and was grateful for the privacy. Yes some additional support would have been welcome, but once people know you are TTC they get nosy. I appreciated the privacy and ability to grieve on my own, and not have to face daily questions about if we were pregnant yet from others in the months that followed.

Odds are that everything will be fine with your pregnancy,and I certainly hope that they are. But once you tell someone else about it, you don't really own the pregnancy anymore. It is a totally personal decision, there is no right or wrong answer. H&H 9 months to all of us!

danielle0704 · December 2011

I had the same mental debate! I'm currently 5 weeks into my pregnancy, as well.

After my hubby, my mom was the next person I told and there was no way I could keep it from her, and apparently there was going to be no way she could keep it from anyone else. Hahaha. After sharing with her, we decided to tell more people. I couldn't imagine the pain of going through a miscarriage, but I'm not sure it would be less painful with fewer people being aware...but I know that there are couple who choose to handle this more privately.

Long story short, do what feels right to you guys!

MrsMandaK · December 2011

I agree with others that it's definitely a personal decision. We've told everyone right away with all of our pregnancies. I just have to big of a mouth to keep quiet about news like this! Plus, my family is very close and very intuitive -- they'd have figured it out pretty quickly even if I had tried to keep it a secret.

Ax2 · December 2011

DH and I are both the only child in our families, so we will tell our parents at Christmas. I think I would be more hesitant if we had brothers and sisters to tell.

jenlb03 · December 2011

I am six weeks as of tomorrow and we end up telling last night. Everyone was in town for the holidays and all together so it just came out. I REALLY regret it because I woke up spotting and am freaking out right now that I am going to miscarry. I really don't want to deal with telling everyone it was a false alarm! If I had to do it over, I would have waited.

apardy131 · December 2011

I would tell family (close family parents, siblings, relatives that you are close to). I would not publicly announce to everyone (friends, Facebook, etc) until after the 1st Trimester. But it is up to you.

BeckyTheEngineer · December 2011

One thing to think about, some people are terrible about keeping a secret. If you don't want friends or anyone other than immediate family to know, really think about how realistic it is to ask your fam not to tell. Mine was so excited, they blabbed immediately. Not a big deal to me, but think about it.

hackjamie@gmail.com · December 2011

In October I was pregnant. We planned on telling out immediate family on my birthday. Unfortunately I miscarried the day before. I ended up calling my mom crying for support. She rushed over and I told her the news. Her first response was "why didnt you tell me earlier". My mom and I are really close and talk to each other everyday. I was happy to have her support in that moment. Then later that weekend we told my mother-in-law. I was happy we told her too since she is a nurse and knows doctors. She helped me with a few things. Our parents also told our siblings. Come to found out my sister-in-law had a miscarriage and it was nice to have her support too.

Now we are pregnant again! We told my family two days after we found out at my parents, during dinner. Then we told my husbands parents and siblings last weekend during our Christmas get together. All of our family knows to keep it quiet for now and they are a great support! We plan on announcing the news to all of our extended family and friends right after we go to the doctors at 9 weeks.

Capt Jen · December 2011

It's a personal decision.

We told family and close friends right away. I announced on facebook at 10w.

If you're unsure, one thing I heard someone say was, "You're only pregnant for the first time once." That was enough to make me feel comfortable enough to share with people, even if something happened later on.

Good luck!

amyred777 · December 2011

My husband and I will tell each of our families on Christmas Eve (his family gathering) and Christmas Day (my family gathering). It's our first pregnancy and we are so excited. Im not so sure about friends and other people. I probably won't make an effort to keep it a secret anymore but won't be announcing to the world until we hear the heartbeat most likely.

For the Christmas 'reveals' we got t-shirts that say "Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Baby's on the Way!" that we are going to wear and see who notices . Can't wait!!

natashag26 · December 2011

That sounds awesome! Someone had suggested that to me but when I mentioned it to my husband he said he didn't want to do that. He said he wanted to be traditional and just tell both sets of parents at dinner on Christmas Day. We've been waiting 10 weeks and 1 day to tell our family and figure Christmas day would be the best time to tell our family. I'm so excited for you and your husband! My husband and I decided that being the most joyous time of the year with the birth of Jesus it's only right to tell everyone that I have a beautiful baby growing inside me

I wish you all the best this holiday season. Merry Christmas to you and yours. Our plan is for my husband to make a toast and when everyone in our family go to put their glasses up to do our toast he'll say but before we begin toasting...I better take this glass of wine away from you...meaning me of course...LOL Shouldn't be interesting! I'm excited! I've never lied to my mom before and this is really bothering me that I haven't told her yet.

lzygrl42 · December 2011

Thanks everyone for your advice. I think we decided to tell our parents and immediate family members only for now on Christmas. We will wait to tell our friends and others til after i get to 12 weeks. This is our first child and my very first pregnacy at age 35..Although I am still worried and scared, i am hoping and praying for the best with this pregnancy.

Thanks again ladies and CONGRATS to you all.

amyred777 · December 2011

Oh I love the wine idea

! I know what you mean about not liking lying to your mom...I feel so awkward not telling her.

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