Community› The Bump Message Boards› Late Term and Child Loss
Late Term and Child Loss
New Discussion

I had thought the holidays weren't going to be a problem...

nidawi6nidawi6
in Late Term and Child Loss

I haven't posted in a while, hi everybody. I just had a terrible thought. I'm not very religious, but I celebrate Christmas along with everybody else for my own reasons, family, tradition, etc.. My family guilts me into going to mass once a year, and I just remembered how Christmas mass is all about baby Jesus and his birth (obviously). I'm sitting here listening to Christmas music, and the lyrics to song reminded me that Christians celebrate Christmas around the birth of a child. And it felt like somebody stabbed me.

I panicked and wondered if there was any way of getting out of the church thing this year, and I don't think there is. I've cemented plans with both sides of our families, for the first time ever we are going to church as one unit on Christmas Eve and having a dinner together beforehand. I can't get out of this. Ugh, I can't do this! I'm going to wince/grimace every time they talk about birth and babies, just like I do with every baby commercial and Facebook post, and every piece of new-parent targeted mail. I have no idea how I'm going to hide it. I thought about drinking more than my share of wine beforehand, but we are in the process of trying again, so that's not a great idea. Suggestions?

EDD 9/28/2011, lost our little girl (pre-e/iugr) on 6/13/11 @24w5d
EDD 3/12/2013, natural miscarriage on 7/18/12 @6w2d
EDD 8/01/2013, D&C scheduled for 12/31/12 @9w4d
Report Reply to Post

Re: I had thought the holidays weren't going to be a problem...

  • Petunia844Petunia844 member
    I wish I had a suggestion, I have to change the channel on every Christmas song, especially ones that talk about Joseph and Mary and the birth of their baby.  All I can say is DH and I are taking Christmas Eve mostly to ourselves to be sad or cry or just be with each other and remember Peyton...and hopefully we can steal ourselves for the next day with family including my baby niece and pregnant SIL.  G/L to all of us, I can't wait for 2012.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

    CafeMom Tickers

    Married the love of my life 7/11/09 - Our first baby, Peyton Mark, was born sleeping 10/25/11 at 33 weeks - Our second baby, BFP 2/4/12, welcome to the world Raylan! Holy Moly, BPF 2/4/14, please be safe and sound little one!

    My Blog

    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • caitriona87caitriona87 member

    I'm sorry. I am alternating between freaking out over how I will handle Christmas vs. just putting it behind a brick wall in my mind.

    I also hope that this isn't out of line to say--I am Catholic. Last year at this time (and before) I identified a lot with Mary and the Nativity because of when our son was due, and we moved about two weeks before my due date, so I thought of Mary and Joseph going around looking for a place to deliver.

    After my son's death, I found solace in thinking of Mary at the foot of the Cross. Even though the Christmas story is joyful and involves themes of birth and babies, Mary eventually suffered through the death of Jesus...Who, besides being God, was her precious baby. 

    Like I said, I hope it's ok for me to say this...I know a lot of ladies here struggle with faith, and I definitely understand because my DH is right there too. If it's not helpful, I'm sorry. 

     

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • magdalina.hmagdalina.h member
    imagecaitriona87:

    I'm sorry. I am alternating between freaking out over how I will handle Christmas vs. just putting it behind a brick wall in my mind.

    I also hope that this isn't out of line to say--I am Catholic. Last year at this time (and before) I identified a lot with Mary and the Nativity because of when our son was due, and we moved about two weeks before my due date, so I thought of Mary and Joseph going around looking for a place to deliver.

    After my son's death, I found solace in thinking of Mary at the foot of the Cross. Even though the Christmas story is joyful and involves themes of birth and babies, Mary eventually suffered through the death of Jesus...Who, besides being God, was her precious baby. 

    Like I said, I hope it's ok for me to say this...I know a lot of ladies here struggle with faith, and I definitely understand because my DH is right there too. If it's not helpful, I'm sorry. 

     

    I'm not Catholic, but I look at it the same way too. 

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Third Birthday tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers
    Photobucket
    Report Reply
  • nidawi6nidawi6

    No worries, it's not out of line. I was raised Catholic. I didn't even think about the crucifixion, good point. That'll at least give me something to think about on Saturday night when they are going on and on about the birth.

    Poor Mary, poor all of us. 

    EDD 9/28/2011, lost our little girl (pre-e/iugr) on 6/13/11 @24w5d
    EDD 3/12/2013, natural miscarriage on 7/18/12 @6w2d
    EDD 8/01/2013, D&C scheduled for 12/31/12 @9w4d
    Report Reply
  • weddedwifeweddedwife member

    I will say... I went to a Christmas concert a few weeks ago and the lyrics to a lot of the songs really bothered me. By the time they got to Silent Night, I was crying: "...Mother & Child, holy infant to tender & mild, sleep in heavenly peace..." Come on!! Someone wrote that song about an angel baby.

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • nidawi6nidawi6
    The song that got to me was "Mary's Boy Child". Stay away from it, stay far away! I've heard this one before, probably at church, it just happens to be on this classics album that I'm listening to. Blech! Time for some "Santa Baby", the only "baby" song I'll allow this Christmas. :)
    EDD 9/28/2011, lost our little girl (pre-e/iugr) on 6/13/11 @24w5d
    EDD 3/12/2013, natural miscarriage on 7/18/12 @6w2d
    EDD 8/01/2013, D&C scheduled for 12/31/12 @9w4d
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"