Nicknames- Why?

TheWop · December 2011

It seems like nicknames are huge right now. So many posts are "What do you think of ______? What would the NN be?" or 'Help me come up with a NN for _____". What is everyone's hang up with having a nickname? Is having just a formal name really that bad? I don't get it. And why can't nicknames develop over time? Why does one have to be pre-determined?

Sorry, I needed to get that off my chest.

cowgirltu · December 2011

I asked a similar question a couple of days ago, and got "why do you care?". GL with how they respond to this.

SummerMama12 · December 2011

I don't like nicknames in general. I have a longer formal name and a common nickname. Problem is, the nickname is hard to grow out of as you get older, so at 34, I still have people calling me by it. It gets annoying and it's very awkward to tell people, "Oh, I go by X now." I would have preferred my parents just call me by my given my whole life.

mamahawk12 · December 2011

I agree! I don't give a sh*t about nicknames and I don't understand the hangup either. If you like a name, then name your child that. When my parents named my sister Caitlin, I highly doubt they ever imagined she would end up going by KiKi. But when that's all our little brother would say - that's what it turned in to. I think nicknames should evolve more naturally and not be so pre-determined.

Juicy71 · December 2011

I think my main concern would be figuring out if there is some awful nn out there that makes me decide not to use the name. But I know that's not a lot of people's reasons.

Also, I know that my DH's name choice, Esther, is a name that I didn't like at first but it is starting to grow on me, but I love the nn Esti. So, if he feels so strongly about that name, and there is a nn that I'm happy with, then I'll be more apt to give him what he wants. So maybe that's part of it too... who knows?

WashingtonQueen · December 2011

I personally dont like people naming a child something if you dont intend on calling them by it.

ETA: The only nickname used in my house is for my son Sterling. We call him Stermonkey or Stermonster. Even then, we only use the cute nicknames about 30% of the time.

ImThisBabysMom · December 2011

I completely agree with you.

I will say, I want to name our daughter Madelyn. I like the formal name. But I know people will give her a nn based on her name. It always tends to happen in the family. So I am going to try to steer in the direction of Maddy instead of Lynn. My mom was Lynn and it would be too hard to have her called that.

I doubt anyone will use Lynn anyways, but I may call her Maddy a few times in front of certain people just so if they use a nn, they will use that.

HannahO28 · December 2011

This is just one of those "different strokes for different folks" kind of things. Some people love NNs and want to have a great one in place, others don't understand it.

I always kind of wish my name could be shortened to something cute. I think it's nice to have something less formal that only your friends call you or whatever. However, the names we've chosen for this baby don't happen to have NNs, and I'm ok with that

emikat · December 2011

I agree with you. I prefer my full name and have since kindergarten. I agree nicknames, if they happen, should develop over time naturally and as individual preference. I can see maybe avoiding a name if you hate the common nickname. But then again it's easy enough to say that I/he/she goes by their full name.

BFab11 · December 2011

I'm opposite, I actually avoid names with obvious nicknames.

Jazzyashes84 · December 2011

For example with the name Brielle -

There is something comforting knowing that we (close family and friends) would call her Brie, while the rest of the world "outsiders" know her as Brielle.

personal choice i guess.

i'm a total nickname person. i started calling my nephew aiden "aids" though and that wasn't working very well, lol

mamahawk12 · December 2011

Jazzyashes84:
i started calling my nephew aiden "aids" though and that wasn't working very well, lol

Hahahaha.

BackseatDriver · December 2011

I think sometimes nicknames are inevitable and people may select a name they think fits an older person but want to also influence the name that will be used in childhood.

Sawyerplus1 · December 2011

I agree! DH and I argue over this when it comes to baby names. When I suggest a name he always asks what the nickname would be, and doesn't like it if a name doesn't have a 'natural' nickname. It's ridiculous! (And yet we named DS Sawyer, which doesn't have a nn...). I think if a name has a nickname, great! But if not, that's ok too and doesn't rule a name out for me. And often nicknames come with time!

BlindysWife · December 2011

I like options. I like that I get two for the price of one with some names (Eleanor and Norah, two of my favs, and conveniently one is a nn for the other). I also like nn's that develop organically, and I think it's okay to have them both. (Eleanor goes by Eleanor at work, but her friends call her Nora and her dad stlll calls her Bugga.) But I truly am riding the fence on this topic, because I also like names like Linus that have no obvious nn. My name is Abby, not Abigail, and it's never bothered me. I love the name Betsy, and if I ever have one, she will probably be just Betsy and not Elizabeth.

I guess what I'm rambling about is that I think, like all naming opinions, it's just personal preference, and that I don't think it has to be all or nothing regarding nn.

TheWop · December 2011

Sawyerplus1:
I agree! DH and I argue over this when it comes to baby names. When I suggest a name he always asks what the nickname would be, and doesn't like it if a name doesn't have a 'natural' nickname. It's ridiculous! (And yet we named DS Sawyer, which doesn't have a nn...). I think if a name has a nickname, great! But if not, that's ok too and doesn't rule a name out for me. And often nicknames come with time!

Exactly! I don't understand why people try so hard for a nn. Most of the people I know with nn's have nothing to do with their formal name. For instance, DH's good friend goes by Spud most of the time, but his formal name is Shane. Everyone, even his parents call him Spud. The nn came from his love of mashed potatoes as a toddler.

da731 · December 2011

I'm with you on this. I can respect that others care deeply about nicknames, though, and so on the flipside, I, too, am able to feel the complete opposite about it.

BackseatDriver · December 2011

TheWop:
Sawyerplus1:
I agree! DH and I argue over this when it comes to baby names. When I suggest a name he always asks what the nickname would be, and doesn't like it if a name doesn't have a 'natural' nickname. It's ridiculous! (And yet we named DS Sawyer, which doesn't have a nn...). I think if a name has a nickname, great! But if not, that's ok too and doesn't rule a name out for me. And often nicknames come with time!

Exactly! I don't understand why people try so hard for a nn. Most of the people I know with nn's have nothing to do with their formal name. For instance, DH's good friend goes by Spud most of the time, but his formal name is Shane. Everyone, even his parents call him Spud. The nn came from his love of mashed potatoes as a toddler.

I actually don't really know of any person with a nontraditional nn like that. I do know an Elizabeth that goes by Bette (pronounced like Betty) and always has. If you have a strong preference for nn for a name like Elizabeth I think you should start right away. There are lots to choose from!

My DH does not like nn at all and prefers names with no obvious nn, though he says Katherine (Kate) has grown on him.Some of our friends who have no nn really wanted one growing up so that is a priority in their name selection. They now have a Lucas (Luke) and an Amelia (Mia).

Moneypenny424 · December 2011

HannahO28:
This is just one of those "different strokes for different folks" kind of things. Some people love NNs and want to have a great one in place, others don't understand it.
I always kind of wish my name could be shortened to something cute. I think it's nice to have something less formal that only your friends call you or whatever. However, the names we've chosen for this baby don't happen to have NNs, and I'm ok with that

This is how I feel. My name is Gillian and went by "Gill" until 7th grade. It wasn't a hard transition to make. Some people call me Gill, some family members do and even some new friends who've never known me as Gill call me that.

I like NNs in many situations, but most names we're looking at don't have clear NNs and that is totally fine with me.

indiana101 · December 2011

I love nicknames but maybe that is because everyone in my family has atleast one nickname, if not more. For us they are more random and not really associated with their FNs i.e Jaden is known as Charlie, Jessica is known as Bam, Richard = Trick. When coming up with a name for this LO I am definitly thinking of possible nicknames that can be associated with it (in order to avoid any obvious horrible ones) however am prepared for the kid to end up with a totally random nn that neither DH or I chose.

Eilis123 · December 2011

I like nicknames. They seem more personal in a family setting, but I also want my children to have a full name for professional use/formal use/sacraments/etc.

I like a distinction between language and address that is familiar and personal and language that is public and formal. I like that what DH and my parents call me isn't what the people at work call me.

That said, a nickname isn't a must for me, and I wouldn't force one if my child had a shorter first name that didn't easily lend itself to a nick name.

cheetah*run · December 2011

Eilis123:
I like nicknames. They seem more personal in a family setting, but I also want my children to have a full name for professional use/formal use/sacraments/etc.
I like a distinction between language and address that is familiar and personal and language that is public and formal. I like that what DH and my parents call me isn't what the people at work call me.
That said, a nickname isn't a must for me, and I wouldn't force one if my child had a shorter first name that didn't easily lend itself to a nick name.

Well said...and ditto for me! To add, for me, I like that I provided my child options that would allow her some freedom to chose how she wants to present herself. Even now, she uses her nn for family but will introduce herself to new people with the full name.

theseaword · December 2011

I love nicknames. My name doesn't lend itself to one, and I always felt a little left out. I think they make the name more personal (I do try to avoid obvious nicknames).

KearaD · December 2011

I don't think anyone has pointed this out yet (although I may be wrong), but I think there is a HUGE difference between "normal nicknames" and "cutesy nicknames/ pet names."

For example, Rob is a normal nickname for Robert. It is one that is very common and would be used by people other than immediate family. Other examples: Matthew/Matt, Kathryn/Kate, Jonathan/Jon. These make sense to be pre-determined because the nicknames have history, just like the formal name.

I agree with the OP that cutesy nicknames are silly to pre-determine. These are nicknames that only a few people very close to the person might use. PPs have given some examples of these: Spud, Kiki, Stermonster. It would definitely be ridiculous to plan to use these before the baby was born.

shouldbworkin · December 2011

I'm a Kimberly who has never liked my full name, so I was always glad to have options. that being said, I have just picked names that I liked. DD's name doesn't lend itself to any NNs. DS's does and so we chose a formal name since we knew people would assume his full name was one thing or the other. He goes by both names.

Mrs.Deputy · December 2011

KearaD:

I don't think anyone has pointed this out yet (although I may be wrong), but I think there is a HUGE difference between "normal nicknames" and "cutesy nicknames/ pet names."

For example, Rob is a normal nickname for Robert. It is one that is very common and would be used by people other than immediate family. Other examples: Matthew/Matt, Kathryn/Kate, Jonathan/Jon. These make sense to be pre-determined because the nicknames have history, just like the formal name.

I agree with the OP that cutesy nicknames are silly to pre-determine. These are nicknames that only a few people very close to the person might use. PPs have given some examples of these: Spud, Kiki, Stermonster. It would definitely be ridiculous to plan to use these before the baby was born.

I agree with all of the above. Do you think that the nn Zack should be banned because all Zacharys should be called by their given names? Or should the name Jacob go by the wayside because some parents want their kids to be called Jake? That is so strange to me. Many names lend themselves to normal, well known nn's and it is perfectly fine if the parents of a Benjamin pre-determine that their child will be called Ben.

Keri Marie · December 2011

I'm not a fan of nicknames at all. We chose a name for our son with a common nickname and while it's a nice nickname, I still don't care for them. (Clifton/Cliff)

I agree... It's a strange thing to obsess over.

hmr22 · December 2011

TheWop:

It seems like nicknames are huge right now. So many posts are "What do you think of ______? What would the NN be?" or 'Help me come up with a NN for _____". What is everyone's hang up with having a nickname? Is having just a formal name really that bad? I don't get it. And why can't nicknames develop over time? Why does one have to be pre-determined?

Sorry, I needed to get that off my chest.

AGREE! Personally I HATE nicknames, if one developes over time it is one thing, but otherwise name them what you want them to be called.

SummerMama12 · December 2011

I totally agree with the poster above about actual nicknames vs. pet names. I have a pet name for my son (Roo) that pretty much only DH and I call him. It's not somethat that would ever get used in a school setting that he would have to transition out of as an adult.

My issue is with cutesy nicknames like Billy for a grown William or Chrissy for a grown Christina. That's the kind of thing I want to avoid based on my own experience. Nicknames like Ben for Bejamin and Rob for Robert are ageless, IMO.

kim1989 · December 2011

completely agree

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