Need a pick-me-up
malcivar
member
So two days ago I was on a total high. We had our EI 6 month review and we got to go through some of the goals we established way back in June and DH and I were so happy about some of the progress DS has made.
And then ... we got progress notes from his school yesterday. Those are always a little hard to take. DH says I take them too hard but I can't help it. To me they always seem like a laundry list of all the things DS can't do yet. "Little progress". Two little words that can sting so much. I am trying to be positive in that there were a lot of categories where it said "Emerging" so that's good.
But then there was the kicker - where they talk about his % of delays and such. Most of the paperwork says that developmentally he's at where most 17 month olds are. DS is 25 months old. Sometimes I think they expect too much of toddlers but of course then I wonder if, being 1st time parents, we just don't know what we're doing and that's why he's not learning skills appropriate for his age.
*sigh* It doesn't help that DS has has a couple of difficult cranky days of late. Just generally being uncooperative and whiny. Just makes me feel like I should be wearing a tee shirt that says: Parenting with a big old FAIL right across it.
Re: Need a pick-me-up
Someone once told me that when someone tells you 5 positive things and one negative thing, people tend to only hear the negative. But what abou tthose other 5?
I, like you, hang heavily on the negative words. I'm trying to learn not to.
Go read the first few EI notes that were written about your child. This is what I do when I feel sad or feel a lack of progress. There it is, on paper, the leaps and bounds in a short period. Think about if you hadn;t started EI what wold have changed, if anything. Think about what you have learned and what you pass along and teach daily now to your child.
It's a different life now, isn't it?
Pat yourself on the back too, b/c it isn't just the E?I therapists that teach the stuff - it's you.
XOXO
Now I'm going to go print this and hang it in my bathroom b/c in 5 minutes i'll be down about the same thing. lol. It's so much easier to say it to someone else then it is to say it to yourself.
It's such a hard blow. you go through seeing their progress, watching them grow, revelling in all the little milestones they've accomplished and celebrating just how far they've come.
And then to get the report of what they still can't do. It seems so daunting, and sometimes I start to forget about the progress he has made and can only see the distance he has yet to go.
It's hard to accept that our children have to work so hard on a daily basis and that they're still behind. It also hurts to think of some people only seeing our children for what they CANNOT do, versus us who see them for everything than CAN DO, especially the things that the couldn't do a short time ago.
Yep, it's like DS has a part-time job. 20 hrs a week of intense therapy and they want to add more on top of that (now they're pushing for physical therapy and even though I've read their justifications, they just don't make sense to me). DS is crankier and crankier every day because all these therapy sessions are interrupting his sleep. He has to get up every day before 6am so that he can get dressed and eat breakfast before the bus comes to pick him up at 6:45. Then he's at the center from 8-10am. Then it's back on the bus to get home around 11-11:15am. Just in time to eat some lunch, when his speech therapist comes. Then it's speech from 12-12:30. Then he has to try to relax so he can take a nap. He usually falls asleep around 1pm, only to be woken up at 2:30 so he can get ready for MORE therapy (ABA therapist comes to the home) from 2:45 to 4:45. Then it's dinner, bath and bed by 7:30. Most nights he's so exhausted he can't go to sleep right away.
And I just want to yell at everyone HE'S ONLY TWO YEARS OLD!!!!
And some days, I can't help but resent moms of TD kids - I know it's not their fault - but everything just comes so easy for their kids. No crazy schedules for them. No hrs upon hrs of therapy. No micro-analyzing every little action. Is he spinning around because he thinks he's dancing or is it 'stimming'?
Sorry - it's just been a rough few days for me.
We all understand. I feel this way every time I leave OT. I usually cry all the way home because we aren't making progress (at least it doesn't feel that way) right now. I also feel like the entire session is a "what you've done wrong" in raising LO.
My LO's issues are different from many of yours, but the feelings are the same.
Hang in there!