If your child has sensory processing problems or autism
JOEBunny
member
I have posted before about a child we are in playgroup with, and have been for almost 3 years. He has a SAHD, who is a really nice laid back guy, and a mom who is very controlled, at the top of her field (Professor at a top 20 business school), and definitely type A. He will be 3 in March.
I have never heard him say a word or express any interest in the other boys, and with the exception of one boy who he sees 5 days a week, he will cry and cling to his father when he sees them. The other boys talk about each other, Give each other greetings, play, ect. He never voluntarily seeks out the other boys, though he sees them 1 or 2X 50 weeks a year. If they try to engage him, he will often scream and retreat to his father or demand to go on the swing or be held for the 2-3 hours we are at a park. At peoples homes, he basically sits in his dads lap crying, often with his hands over his ears.
The boy started school in the fall, and had a rough go of it, which is common, but was doing better all around. The fathers wife made him go on a parenting retreat to learn about child development, and that helped briefly. Recently, the teachers ask his parents to consider speech therapy, which I think is great.
My question is, will the speech therapist recommend other evaluations, once she sees what is going on (and she is bound to)? The kids I have known who have autism where diagnosed at 16-18 months or so with sensory processing and have been in therapy, so are not the same as this boy, he is much less able to engage.
The family is really reluctant to put him in any kind of therapy or label him in any way, which I get, but this boy clearly struggles, in much more than just an "I am shy and don't like social interaction way:"
From this board, and a preschool my aunt founded for kids who have challenges, I know the importance of early intervention, but as I said, the family is really resistant. I am just hoping that the speech therapist will be the gateway to move toward what the little boy needs. We have a child with DS in our group, and another's brother also has it, so it isn't like we don't talk frequently about the challenges of coping with kids who need a bit of extra help. My son does not eat solid food or even purees in any quantity, which at almost 3 has its own difficulties, but we work on it and he is watched by his doctors.
Do you think the speech therapist will just keep her mouth shut and work on that area? It hurts to see him so unhappy, and his dad so frustrated.
Re: If your child has sensory processing problems or autism
This is good and bad to hear. I was just chatting on FB with the friend who is their best parent friend, the one whose child the boy does somewhat react to, since he sees him the most. She was surprised to hear that they were even considering speech therapy, since in their conversations, the parents don't seem to realize that the child is not meeting the same milestones. She said her DH, who works and had not seen the boy around kids other than their's, was shocked at the boys behavior at a party a few weeks ago.
I don't know. I do know that EI helps a lot from what I have seen. I do know that in my kids cases, both eating issues, both different, that ruling out true problems from delays or just stubborn kids can make a big difference in the long run. If I ignored my sons lack of eating, he would be FTT and malnourished at best, and at worst, he would be struggling to eat, while having bowel issues, allergies, reflux, ect, and I would not know that he is just stubborn and capable of long term lack of interest in food, but he can eat without gagging, having digestive issues, ect. I do hope that his parents will open up their minds from the "my child is going to go to the top private school in the city" mentality that they seem to have (not that I blame them for this, we all want the best for our kids) and get him the help that he needs now, or find out that some kids are just like that, and there are no real worries. They are good, nice people, but he is their only child and they have pinned high hopes on him (like we all do), I just hope they can see past that and have him evaluated. We all see that he is different, but we cannot say what that means. Only professionals can do that.
He goes to an "exclusive private preschool" I was kind of surprised they said anything, having known a number of people who have gone there and the prevailing attitudes in the school community there. I am so glad they did though. I have suggested our states free EI evaluation program before, but he is about to age out of that at 3, and would not be able to get services again until public prek starts again at 4, but again, that would take more time, so if he starts that at 4.5, with a March birthday, it would take a bit to get an evaluation, but I don't see them sending him to public pre-k anyway.
Thanks Auntie. I appreciate your response. It is helpful. You are dead on about the parents, particularly the mom. They are very anti-public school and are really only considering one of the top private schools in the city, which starts at 4 years. Good to know about the schools taking over at 3. Since public pre-k starts at 4, and EI ends at 3, I didn't know there was anything for 3 year olds. Hopefully, speech will be the start, and they can go from there. I just hope that they get a good speech therapist. I can't see it going well, since the boy will cry when you try to engage him most of the time, even though he knows us well. I am hoping they will go through the Marcus Institute to get a therapist, since they have a speech therapy department, it is close to their home, and affiliated with the university where the mom works. I am looking into taking my son there for his feeding issues, and you don't have to have autism to go.