January 2012 Moms

More to worry about...

Went to the dr last week because of extreme swelling of my feet/ankles/hands because of my history of HELLP Syndrome with my first.  They said I was OK because my BP and urine were clear (HELLP starts with pre-e).  They did draw blood as a precautionary measure.  FF to yesterday afternoon when I got a call from the dr saying that my platelets had dropped and I now had gestational thrombocytopenia.  This is EXACTLY how I started with my daughter.  

I didn't realize how much I had blocked out from my experience, I guess as a self-preservation method.  That phone call really brought back just how traumatic of an experience it was for me and I spent the rest of the afternoon fighting back tears that kept springing up on me without any warning.  

They will be repeating my labs weekly (again, exactly how things went with my first) all while being reassured that since my BP is OK and there's no protein in my urine, I'm likely fine...

To explain a little, they had calculated a 7% chance of my survival when I finally delivered my daughter because of the complications from HELLP on top of a few other issues I had.  For her delivery I was under general anesthesia (in other words, out cold) and I missed her birth.  I wasn't the first (or even close) to see her face or to touch her.  I woke in another room, hooked up to all sorts of machinery and it was hours after her birth before I saw her...days before I held her.  It's something that is history, of course, and there's nothing that can be done to change it, but while I'm normally someone who can fairly easily let go of such things, this eats away at me.  I have been looking SO forward to the birth of this baby - having my husband by my side, having us see our child together, at the same time, and being the first to know "boy or girl".  This one phone call has really made it hit that things may not go that way at all.   

Just letting it out... 

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Re: More to worry about...

  • So sorry you got that call and are dealing with these issues.  T&P that this doesn't become a repeat.
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  • So sorry! That does sound scary/traumatizing! Is there anything that could be done knowing in advance to try to give you a smoother/safer/healthier delivery this time around if that becomes the case?

    (Sorry I don't know much about the condition...)

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  • I'm so sorry. I can certainly see why that would be incredibly stressful to think about! Sending T&P that everything will be fine this time around- and that either way you and LO will come out the other side healthy and happy!
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  • imageAnnya26:

    So sorry! That does sound scary/traumatizing! Is there anything that could be done knowing in advance to try to give you a smoother/safer/healthier delivery this time around if that becomes the case?

    (Sorry I don't know much about the condition...)

    The thing is, even the experts know little about the condition.  There's nothing that can be done to stop it -- they don't even know why it happens.  The only cure is delivery.  I'm a repeat C because of all of the complications with my last pregnancy/delivery, but if I have HELLP I won't be permitted an epidural or a spinal, which means general anesthesia.  The rest I can deal with, as awful as the physical trauma is, but the emotional part is what scares me the most.  My daughter is 6 1/2 and I still get all torn up every time I think of missing the moment she entered this world.  

    Again, really just letting it all out because it's killing me to bottle this up and while I have of course talked to my husband about my fears/concerns, I don't want to stress him too much either knowing he's worried not only for the baby, but for me, on top of the same type of emotional stressors of having to wait outside of the delivery room, old school style, pacing and waiting to hear if me and the baby are OK, whether it's a boy or girl, and then knowing that he will be seeing our baby without me, holding our baby without me, all while they keep me alive and ticking...  Figure it's better to let him deal with all that's swirling through his mind and his heart and spill my guts here for now!  Lol.

    Thanks for the ear, ladies. 

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  • Oh, sweetie. This sounds so stressful. I'll keep you in my T&P and hope that it's not a repeat!
    DD 1.18.2012
  • I am so sorry you are going through this...is there any way they can move forward your c-section date once you hit term so that you can experience the birth you want?
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  • So sorry.
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  • imageGalway2003:
    I am so sorry you are going through this...is there any way they can move forward your c-section date once you hit term so that you can experience the birth you want?

    I'm already delivering 9 days before my due date.  I wish they could move it up to the two full weeks ahead they had originally planned on; however, it seems that insurance companies have decided that there is a "much higher risk" of the baby winding up in the NICU with anything scheduled more than one week ahead...9 days was as far as they feel they can push it without the insurance company possibly pushing back and causing potential problems with covering the "elective" procedure.  Never mind that I nearly died having my first, the baby and I could have had long-term side effects and I am now beginning to show signs of developing the same syndrome again... 

    Thanks again for the thoughts, ladies! 

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