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Need advice on disciplining a 2.5 year old
My son is consistently doing things he knows he is not allowed to do. I try to put him in a time out but he won't stay and thinks it is funny to try to get away from me when he is supposed to be in the corner. I really can't catch him and don't want to make it a game by chasing him around anyway so I just let it go, which can't be sending the right message. I'm trying to reason with him and explain why good behavior gets rewarded and bad behavior doesn't, like why he can't do something fun he wants to do because he did something bad that he wasn't supposed to do, but I don't know that he is old enough to understand or that it is sinking in. It is becoming a real problem and I need to find some help. Can anyone offer a source to read about disciplining at toddler age or any advice?
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Re: Need advice on disciplining a 2.5 year old
The chasing them down and making them sit through time out until they actually sit through it works for us. But I definitely understand why you wouldn't feel up to doing that right now.
I haven't read/watched it, but I've heard lots of people have had success with the 1-2-3 Magic strategy. Good luck!
Is he hungry, tired or bored? Does he have a set schedule? Basically, instead of focusing on the behavior itself, make sure to evaluate what you can do to set him up for success so it doesn't happen.
Even though we childproofed (or thought we did) with Abby, she never really messed with much. Emily on the other hand will find ONE tiny bead left over from 2 months ago and attempt to shove it up her nose. We had to go over the entire house again to make sure she couldn't get in that kind of trouble. Which reminds me. The sharpies need a new home.... the island is not going to cut it anymore. She can open the drawers and has started trying to get things out of them!
He could definitely be tired. We have been having trouble taking naps lately. Also, he rarely eats anything so he could always be hungry. The only time he really says he is hungry is when he is being asked to do something he doesn't want to do like go to bed, take a nap, get his fingernails trimmed...suddenly he wants to eat! Yes schedule is pretty set. Mostly I think he is just testing his limits. One of the big struggles right now is he scratches his face. He sucks his thumb and scratches his face with his fingers. He has a really bad cut on his nose right now from doing this and he will not keep a bandaid on. We tell him he has to keep it on and he says he will and then he takes it off and tells me he took it off "on purpose" when I ask him why he does it. He will do the same thing with the Christmas tree. Tells me that he will not touch it and then goes ahead and touches it. He will tell me he won't do something again after he does it and then he does it again.
Yeah my DH was telling me if we want to do the time out thing we need to force him into it and stay at it all day if that is what it takes. And I'm like yeah right. I totally do not have the drive to do that right now.
I know this doesn't fix the root of the problem (testing limits) but have you tried liquid bandages on his nose? I don't know if it's approved for kids, but DH uses it when he bites his cuticles down too far.
(((hugs))) This can be such a fun, but challenging age! Hang in there!
Maybe the liquid bandage would be a good idea. I'll ask our Dr. For a while he seemed to be getting better at this and we thought we were getting over the scratching but lately it's cropped back up. It's been an issue for about 6 months now. Keeping his nails really short helps but isn't enough. Our pedi basically said to just keep putting on neosporin and keep his nails short but not to try to break the thumbsucking habit. But that was 4 months ago, maybe I need to make another call.
It sounds like he is testing boundaries, but IMO it isn't really fair to him (or you) to attempt to discipline him because he won't keep a bandaid on his face.
re: the thumbsucking - joyco was talking about this stuff she put on her kid's thumb and he's not sucking it anymore. she talked about it in her latest blog post so definitely check it out.
re: testing boundaries - we're not a timeout family but when DD is in one of her moods, the only thing that really works for us is to get down to her level, make eye contact, firmly (but using very nice words) tell her that we don't do ABC because XYZ. and then we redirect to more appropriate behavior - even if that means it is now the end of dinnertime/bathtime/etc. if she asks to continue doing what we're doing (or to come back to it later) we get back down on her level, make eye contact, and tell her that we can go back to doing whatever but remember - we don't do ABC because XYZ. lather, rinse, repeat. the repetition is key and has really helped us redirect a lot of the behaviors before they even start. if we're about to start an activity that we have previously had problems with, we remind her before we even start remember from last time we don't do ABC because XYZ.
ETA: we had really good luck with Positive Discipline: The First Three Years. They also have a toddler version that might be more appropriate, too.
Well, we understand it isn't fun to wear a band aid on your face and we only put it on when we feel it is really necessary, like he has created a bleeding divot on his face that looks like it is on it's way to becoming a scar. But maybe stopping the thumbsucking is the solution we need to look at. He has left a bandaid on before for 24 hours which has totally helped in healing so we are just hoping that he can get through a night and morning with a bandaid.
I will check out Positive Discipline, thanks!
This is what we do. We remove her from the situation, but one of us stays with her. We let her work through her tears, if there are any, and then we talk about what happened, why it wasn't the appropriate behavior, and what the next steps are (always include apologizing). We try to acknowledge her side of it ("I know it must have been frustrating when blah blah blah") so that she feels understood.
I don't know about the facial scratch situation. That's hard because he doesn't understand that he could be doing long-term damage to his skin. Maybe set it up as a huge reward system-if he makes it all day with his bandaid on, you go to Chuck E. Cheese for dinner or something, and then make it a movie day so that it's easy for him to forget about it, thus giving him a high chance of success.
Good ideas...thank you!