I will try to make this short, but with enough detail to get real opinions.
Before I was pregnant, I was on Citalophram and Xanax for anxiety. After becoming pregnant, I took Zoloft for a bit and got off of it by about 12-14 weeks, as it seemed to make me VERY depressed. I've spent the rest of my pregnancy, having serious issues leaving the house. I don't sleep through the night, (obviously b/c I'm 38 wks pregnant) but when I wake up, sometime I have what I call crazy person thoughts. I say "crazy person" b/c I prefer to make an attempt at humor to make myself feel better. I am now off of work as of 12/12 b/c of anxiety (but told the Dr. and everyone else, it was back pain and exhaustion) and can't wait for this baby to come so I can get back on meds. I truly feel like I am depressed, nothing excites me, everything pisses me off, and even though I should be thrilled about my baby girl coming, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but I don't care, I just don't want to be pregnant anymore. I lay around all day, and only shower so that if I go into labor, I don't smell! I have an 8 yr old who has hardly got any of my attention, because I'm so lazy feeling.
My question is, if you suffer from PPD or PPA, did you feel this way throughout your pregnancy too? Is is pretty obvious that I'm going to have issues after I have this baby? Is it just hormones and I should stop worrying? I have a great support system, but I'm even tired of them asking me if I'm feeling better, or if I'm "ok".