What does your toddler do during Church/Religious Services?

charmcitygirl · December 2011

We have yet to take Jacob to a religious service (DH is Jewish, I'm Catholic). And I don't see a lot of toddlers at the minimal masses I've been to over the years. So, I'm wondering if you take your toddler to a religious service, what do they do while they're there? Do they actually sit there for an hour and be quiet?

I remember as a child going to mass with crayons, coloring books, snacks, etc. But I know I was older than Jacob is now. And then, obviously, when I got older I needed to pay attention to the mass itself.

My mom asked if I wanted to take him to mass on Christmas and I just laughed at how much of a disaster I think that would be.

ETA - Our church does not have one of those quiet rooms for kids (glassed off/sound proofed from the rest of the congregation) and they don't have a Sunday School Program.

meechrobi · December 2011

I have decided I will not attempt it this year. I am catholic too and at the christmas mass people come out of the woodwork. You cant save seats, therefore you have to be there at least 30-45 minute prior to mass. Then add the 60 minute mass on top- NO WAY! Liam would never be able to handle it. DH isnt super religious so he was totally welcoming of the idea of staying home with Liam while I go with my parents. I am sad that we wont celebrate mass all together, but it would be way more distracting for me and those around us if Liam came. We tried last year and DH and Liam left before the first reading.

LIAngel · December 2011

We haven't taken Nicholas to church other than Ava's Christening since he was about 21 months old. He would just be all over the place. I would sit with him in the "children's chapel", but I still didn't feel like I could pay attention to the service. I'd bring books, snacks, a sippy, but that wouldn't really hold his attention for to long. It got to be such a hassle. Plus DH works most Sundays anyway and there is no way I can take him and Ava to church by myself.

I really wish my church had a drop off where I can drop him off in a nursery of some sort and have Ava sit on my lap.

choco_lab · December 2011

I wonder the same thing. I've yet to take DS to church. My mother suggested I just take him into the church when there's no mass just to show him the inside and get him acquainted with being in the pew. I have no idea how I could get him to sit in a pew for an hour.

oct11bride03 · December 2011

One of the reasons we chose the church we did when we decided to start going again a few months ago was because they have something called a "soft space" specifically for kids in the back of the church. It's a small church to begin with, but they have an area with extra carpeting and some toys for young kids to play with. The seats around it have signs on them that they're reserved for families with young kids.

The congregation is mostly young families. There's another young couple who actually live around the corner from us who have a daughter Katie's age. They've only been twice since we started going but when she's there they do stickers together or read stories. The mom and I have alternated watching the kids as well. But the best part is the teenage girls who go to church, if they aren't serving that day, will come over and read to Katie, do stickers with her, whatever. One Sunday she was particularly rowdy so they took her down to the preschool area and ran her around.

We've been bringing Katie since we started going back. One of the reasons we've kept going is because they are SO tolerant of her. They actually love when she makes noise during the service. I can't tell you how many times the other moms have given me heartfelt smiles when Katie says something loudly. The priest loves her and says he wouldn't mind if she ran up to the altar sometime. Them being so accepting has made it possible for us to keep going and I personally think there's no way she's going to get used to going regularly if we don't bring her with us now.

ladychicago · December 2011

Anna is younger, obviously, but she runs around like a crazy person. Usually we take turns taking her outside to run around someplace where she won't make noise, but we also just found a Catholic church with a cry room, so that makes life a lot easier. It is a room full of other kids who can't sit still without throwing a temper tantrum, so we're all in good company.

She may sit still for a few moments with a snack or book, but it doesn't last long. It makes going to church really tough, but we try to do it as often as we can (or have the energy), because if she never goes, she'll never "learn" how to go to church. So we just keep trying.

KYRN · December 2011

We've been avoiding mass since our church had no nursery or cry room. We went last weekend for the first time because we just built a new church that now has a cry room with a glass front, you can close the door and there are speakers to hear the mass. I made the mistake of allowing him to take a small car, which somehow turned into 2 small cars. We won't be taking cars anymore and we ended up in the cry room for most of the mass.

I was surprised at how small the cry room is in this large new church, there were maybe 9 seats. DS goes to a short chapel service at school every week so I thought he'd do ok but it was definitely a failure. We took him last year on Christmas eve and that was also pretty much a failure but there were so many family members there to help it wasn't too bad. I'm sure it won't be much better this year but I'll definitely be taking food and some sort of coloring book/color wonder. DH gets easily frustrated and me being pregnant can't really wrangle DS like I used to, so I'm prepared to take him out in the hall for a few minutes if necessary or leave if we have to, I'm sure that there won't be room to go and sit in the cry room on Christmas eve since it will be packed.

LIAngel · December 2011

My DH isn't all that religious either so I may just let him stay home with the kids while I go or I may just bring Ava by myself.

dana316 · December 2011

Caroline and Parker go to the nursery during church.

Our church's nursery is always open...and we can even ask them to be open for extra activities. They opened for us for our Sunday School Christmas party a few nights ago.

GuitaristsGirl · December 2011

If we went regularly, we'd put them in the nursery. As it is, we mostly go with my family to the church I grew up in (oot) on holidays. On holidays, there are always children sitting in the service so it's not as quiet and etc. as other times anyway.

DS walks up and down (my family takes up a pew), looks at tons of books, eats O's out of his snack trap. He likes it when we sing and will bob his head around Last time I took him out about 15 minutes before the service was over because he was just *over* it and was starting to fuss.

For Christmas Eve there are 3 services, one of which is a "family" service at which they have special times for the children and it's just generally less "serious", so we're going to that so as to not stand out too much at one of the other services!

eta: I just saw your ETA - since there isn't a cry room or etc., Christmas mass might actually be more family friendly than most weeks since families like to be together on the holidays - you might ask your mom her opinion!

LIAngel · December 2011

I wonder if I should ask my Church why they don't have a nursery. I know some churches do and others don't. I wonder if it's the denomination. Like a Baptist church would have a nursery, but a Roman Catholic wouldn't or vice versa. Some people look at me weird when I tell them my church doesn't have a nursery.

staycee · December 2011

we're catholic. we go every week and sit in the exact same spot. (back row of the front half of the church - a big wide aisle is behind us before next row of pews... basically, the aisles are like a plus sign)

having that aisle behind us helps with less people to bother as she fidgets around, drops toys over the back, etc... The same family with an "assistance" dog sit right behind us everyweek and we've come to sort of "know" them. I frequently hear them giggle at whatever silly thing #1 is doing. And #1 love to see the doggie sleeping on the floor behind us.

Also, the same family with 2 little boys (3 and 13mo) sit in front of us. #1 and the older boy share their snacks back and forth, and will occassionally watch what the other is playing with or reading. They keep each other occupied.

But when it comes down to it, #1 spends most of the time playing quietly with a dolly or book, and #2 is usually held by daddy the whole time. Once in a while #1 will just be too fussy or fidgety and then I will take her out and let her run around for 5-10 minutes.

Dr.Loretta · December 2011

She's all over the place.

I took her for All Saint's Day and she was quiet, but she "traveled" from pew to pew ahead and in front of me. Fortunately everyone was nice.

The church we go to now has a cry room, so we hang out there. I figure in the next year she'll settle down enough to join the masses.

meechrobi · December 2011

Someone might find humor in this- DH is a HUGE Cowboys fan and they are playing on Christmas Eve at 4:15pm. The mass we usually go to is at 4. When I told DH I thought it was better that he stay home with Liam while my parents and I go to church-- his response-- "Thats fine. God wont be at church either because he will be home watching his team"

Only my DH!

TheSkimmy · December 2011

Charlie actually loves church. We go to a contemporary service though and so there is lots of music, a kids sermon, drums, bells etc. We went Sunday and put Lexie in the nursery as she had just sat through an hour funeral service with me the week before (and was actually perfect!)

Charlie had some snacks and that's it. He is busy watching everything going on. I think Christmas would be a great time to try it. Lots to see and lots of music. He might like it!

LIAngel · December 2011

meechrobi:

Someone might find humor in this- DH is a HUGE Cowboys fan and they are playing on Christmas Eve at 4:15pm. The mass we usually go to is at 4. When I told DH I thought it was better that he stay home with Liam while my parents and I go to church-- his response-- "Thats fine. God wont be at church either because he will be home watching his team"

Only my DH!

And mine too. Mine is a huge Cowboys fan.

mrsolsenk12 · December 2011

We dont go often due to my job but hayden cries. He is so super shy just being with all the peole around him. I bring books, toys, snacks,etc. A lot of times he falls asleep. I go to a very small church with no nursery and very few young families. I do go to the contemperary service which has the most amount of families.

lovemymonkey · December 2011

DD can usually last about 30-40 minutes in the service (she enjoys the praise and worship singing time) and then when that portion of the service is over, she sits in my lap or DH's lap and I give her books, quiet toys or snacks. That may last another 15 minutes or so and when she starts making noises and fussing to be put down, we go to the nursery. Our church nursery has a TV that videos in the service so I listen to the sermon (or talk to the other moms) while DD plays.

For older kids (3+ years), they have Sunday School classes during service.

RoxBride · December 2011

DD has been attending church regularily since she was a week old. I guess she's just used to it.

She sits through the services just fine, they run about an hour. She has little quiet activities to keep her occupied - Jesus coloring pages, soft toys like a Noah's Ark, although we do not take snacks, as I'm not one for using food as entertainment, and I don't want to make a mess.

Now that she's older, we expect her to participate and she does happily - knows when to kneel, to pray, to say Amen. She also participates by helping carry the Communion Elements down the aisle.

We don't have a 'cry room' and while we do have a nursery she could stay in, we prefer she attend the service with us and she's a bit of the darling of the congregation, so she's quite welcome in the Sanctuary. She does attend Sunday School, but that's the hour after the service and we attend adult SS at that time.

muppet.fan · December 2011

Elizabeth goes to church with us almost every week (she hates the toddler nursery room and Sunday School doesn't start until kindergarten). I pack a bag with snacks, stickers, crayons, books, etc. She actually does great, but she's always been very mellow. I wouldn't try it with some of my nieces who are even older than she is.

And it helps that she knows we always go to Starbucks after church and she gets one of those Horizon vanilla milk boxes. That's a big deal to her!

But for Christmas Eve, we're only going to the family/children's service. It's at 4:30 and only about 45 minutes. I don't think I'll take her to one of the traditional candlelight services until she's a few years older since they're past her bedtime anyway.

RoxBride · December 2011

LIAngel:
I wonder if I should ask my Church why they don't have a nursery. I know some churches do and others don't. I wonder if it's the denomination. Like a Baptist church would have a nursery, but a Roman Catholic wouldn't or vice versa. Some people look at me weird when I tell them my church doesn't have a nursery.

Having been on many a church committee, I can tell you that nurseries carry a hefty insurance permium, and if a church has one that won't get used much, it can get pricey, and may not be worth it. Others believe children belong in the service with their parents as a matter or principle. Others can't justify the space because some counties have very intense regulations on the space used for the care of children that make it difficult as you can't use the space for much else.

We don't have a cry room at our church (we do have a nursery) because we do not like the idea of segregating our parents and children. They are a part of the church family, no matter how noisy you are.

PrincessShay80 · December 2011

We have the closed off sound proof room for kids, we used to use that when DD was a baby. Now she goes to the kids club- our church has child care from ages 1-12. They are seperated by ages- it's great we love it. She gets to go play and they read bible stores to them, when they get older they actually do something educational, and we go to the mass, it's a win win.

Dochas · December 2011

I love that our church has no crying room. We've been taking him since he was born. If he cried one of us stepped into the vestibule with him but everyone told us not to, that he was fine. In the Catholic Church the glares would be enough to drive me away.

I wouldn't take a child who has never been to mass to his first on Christmas. It just seems like it would be torturous to you and him. And most of the Catholics I know give a huge side eye to the people who never go to mass but suddenly turn up on Christmas. I just don't think it would be a warm, fuzzy experience for you.

Dochas · December 2011

meechrobi:
Someone might find humor in this- DH is a HUGE Cowboys fan and they are playing on Christmas Eve at 4:15pm. The mass we usually go to is at 4. When I told DH I thought it was better that he stay home with Liam while my parents and I go to church-- his response-- "Thats fine. God wont be at church either because he will be home watching his team"
Only my DH!

We had a priest in my church growing up that would say "the sermon will be short today because the Yankees are playing a double header" or whatever sporting event he didn't want to miss.

futureMrs.Eanes · December 2011

I am Catholic, and we take both girls to mass. Reagan brings her little back pack full of snacks, coloring books and crayons, books, and quiet toys. Some weeks she does great and other weeks she doesn't. But it is important to me that she is exposed, and I feel like a religious community should welcome children. If she gets too loud, we simply take her outside or in the common area to walk around. So far, Madilynn has been good as gold in church

itsmevkb · December 2011

The church we attend now does have a crying room but we haven't had a need for it yet. Our children sit with us and participate in the mass as much as they can (meaning they stand when we stand, sit when we sit, etc.) I do bring cheerios and a few books for my almost 3 year-old to read but my 5 year-old enjoys just looking around.

For me, I've found that so long as they know what is expected of them, such as being quiet and sitting still, it goes pretty well.

pandabearlover · December 2011

My girls are in the pew with us at Mass every Sunday, in the front row. I've never let them eat or drink (unless they were nursing) and we only bring religious toys/books. Betsy, at 4, needs to sit when we sit and stand when we stand. She is not allowed to sit on the kneeler, but she can kneel. Lately, she's been spending most of the Mass kneeling which is pretty cute! Carly can sit or stand on the kneeler, but laying down on it or the floor is a big no-no. I only take them out if they are crazy unruly. And if they have to leave Mass, then there is no special donut after Mass. We have eaten donuts in front of Betsy before when she was especially naughty.

This might be an unpopular opinion, but I think kids should be in the pew with us during the service to learn how to behave, worship as a family and, most importantly, because I want them to receive the grace of Mass.

2006Bride2Be · December 2011

We're Lutheran, and Haylie always goes to church with us. We have a "busy book" that is like an acitivity book with toys inside. The church also has grab bags for kids with crayons, books, etc. We just tell her she has to whisper. And she likes trying to sing the songs.

BUT - during the sermon, kids can go to "childrens church" and do kid activities. So she's only with us for about 40 minutes out of the hour.

UsedToBeGoldie · December 2011

griffin was in church every sunday from 3 weeks old until this past year... so up until he was 4yo - he never had problems... but the twins- OMG- they are terrors in church... i guess it's b/c we have 3 to deal with, and 2 toddlers = trouble feeding off each other, etc - it's very hard to get anything out of church lately.

When we go now we spend most of the service in the cry room- which has a live sound feed of the service and a window- so you can still listen, etc... but it's just not the same.... so we haven't been going as much lately.

i'm hoping in another few montsh the twins will be easier to deal with and we can go weekly again.

Griffin would color, eat a snack, read books, snuggle, fall asleep on me, etc... but the twins are insane

CMM05 · December 2011

Our Synagogue has toddler/preschool services. They are awesome! They sing the songs that the kids know and it is short and sweet Kids can run around and they talk to them about the holiday and the traditions.

If we didn't have that, I would not take them until they could sit!

Want a personalized experience?

What does your toddler do during Church/Religious Services?

Re: What does your toddler do during Church/Religious Services?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards