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Mixed-faith families

anna7602anna7602 member
in Pre-School and Daycare

We're traveling to celebrate Christmas with my family this weekend, but I'm not sure what to do about the menorah lighting (DD and DH both celebrate Hanukkah). Take our menorah with me and just light it at my aunt's house before Christmas Eve dinner? This seems weird. Explain to DD that there will be no candle-lighting for a few days and it will resume when we return to NY?

DD is just becoming aware of the Christmas/Hanukkah divide this year. She was beside herself when she learned my ILs don't have a Christmas tree. It's so hard to explain when she doesn't really understand why the two holidays would be mutually exclusive.

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Re: Mixed-faith families

  • Temp6313048411121614Temp6313048411121614 member
    I can't speak from experience because all of my family and DH's family celebrates Christmas, but I would take the menorah and treat it as you usually do.  I don't think there's any harm in lighting a candle at your aunt's house.  I think your DD should be able to fully experience the holiday as she celebrates it.
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  • aksprissakspriss member
    We are not a mixed-faith family either but I can't see there being a problem with you bringing your menorah with you to your aunt's house and lighting it esp. since it is important to your daughter!
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  • CMM05CMM05 member

    I am Jewish. DH is not. Our children are being raised Jewish, but we celebrate with Christmas with the IL's (presents and dinner only....no church or religious part of it).

    We are going to FL for a week with my IL's. My MIL bought an inexpensive Menorah and we will continue to light it until the last night of Hanukkah. I would definitely continue the traditions that she knows.

    My 4 year old understands that we only celebrate Christmas with Nana and Grandpa. He is very concerned about lighting the Menorah every night, so we will do so!

     

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  • penguingrrlpenguingrrl member
    I think it would be wonderful to bring the Menorah to your aunt's and light it there. Nothing at all bad about mixing both traditions!
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  • the_jackpotthe_jackpot member
    Another vote for taking the menorah. You need to continue celebrating your holiday with your family.
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  • rspiegelrspiegel member

    We are a mixed faith family.  My husband is Jewish and I am not.  We celebrate both holidays.  Our families are very open to this and encourage it.  If your family is open to your traditions, bring it along and light the candles.Bring some Hanukkah gelt and dreidels as well.

    However, if you feel that this would be very weird, go to a separate room to light the candles.  I prefer to keep the traditions that my husband and I share with our kids.  they are important to us.  If we can share with our extended families, then great.  If not, we will have our our private few minutes. 

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  • franciscazfranciscaz member
    Tell your family ahead of time that you are bringing your menorah and would love everyone to take part this year in addition to the usual Christmas celebration.  I grew up with both (Jewish Father/Catholic Mother) and it was awesome Smile 
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  • EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member

    imagefranciscaz:
    Tell your family ahead of time that you are bringing your menorah and would love everyone to take part this year in addition to the usual Christmas celebration.  I grew up with both (Jewish Father/Catholic Mother) and it was awesome Smile 
    This is basically my take on it.

    DH is Jewish, I am not.  we're raising DS Jewish, but we celebrate Christmas w/ my family.  This is the first year DS is really aware of the differences and we lit the menorah last night and he was really into it.  My IL's came over and so did my parents - my parents very much support what we're doing. 

    I don't think we'll be taking it to my parents house this weekend, BUT I know that if we did, they would totally support it. 

    I would just explain to her why you're doing what you're doing, who celebrates what, and in time, she'll start to get it. 

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

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  • da731da731 member
    My husband would bring our menorah along with us when we would travel to my parents' over Hanukkah periods in the past, and we'll do the same over this Christmas stretch, too. As your daughter has just become aware of the differences in the two holidays, I don't think it'd be a great time to opt for one over another when both can be celebrated easily enough. With that said -- happy holidays :)
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