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Breastfeeding
BF and Sleeping issues
Hi all. I am in desperate need of sleep and need some help! I am choosing to post on this board as so many moms on the 0-3 month board seem to have their LO's STTN already. Is this because they FF?
DD was due at the end of Oct, but surprised us by being 5 weeks early. She will be 12 weeks tomorrow/adjusted age is 7 weeks. I try to keep this in mind as her pedi said it can take almost 2 years for her to catch up.
Here's my issue: She will only sleep on me and I am trying to get her to sleep in her crib. She will sleep 4-6 hours a night on me. So I don't think I have a supply issue??? But if I put her in her crib, she will last maybe an hour at the most. I was trying to get her to nap in her crib too, but desperate for a break I have been using the swing the last couple of days to get an hour or even 1.5 hrs for naps. Should I give her a bottle of formula at night? Or stick with BF. I don't want to mess up my supply.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I haven't slept in 3 months because I can't sleep with her on me. Too afraid she will roll off. I never planned on co-sleeping and want to end it before she gets any bigger.
I don't post much, but this board has been a life saver!!!! Thanks Ladies!!!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: BF and Sleeping issues
I am not much help on the crib issue because we bedshare, although LO sleeps next to me not on me. But everything I've read indicates formula is not a guarantee of STTN. My friend's baby is FF and he didn't start STTN until 8-9mos and still doesn't do it consistently. And unless you pump before/after giving the bottle missing a feeding every day can mess up your supply.
While you feel like she's 12wks old (and have not been getting sleep for 12wks), developmentally she's only 7wks so it's not surprising she wakes up frequently at night. Far as I know almost all 7wk babies wake a lot at night regardless of how they are being fed.
Can your H help with holding her/transfer to crib? For some weird reason our LO will stay asleep much better when H puts him down then when I do.
If she's sleeping a 4-6 hour stretch in your arms, the issue isn't hunger, so formula won't help. Around that age (7wks b/c DS was on time) he wouldn't sleep in his crib, either (despite having slept in a bassinett or crib for several weeks before that) and I ended up buying a moby wrap and letting him sleep in that on me for about a week. (It's not really meant for that, but it worked for us. He was comfortable and he couldn't roll off of me, so I felt comfortable enough to sleep. Just be really careful that no fabric is near LO's face if you do use something like that.)
ETA: Even if you do cosleep, you can break the habit later. We coslept with DS when he got a cold after starting daycare, and it had become a habit. Our pedi at our 6mo appt suggested we sleep train so he got 8 hours of sleep in a row in his own crib. We did, and in less than a week, with no issues. Your LO is still so young, try not to worry about it too much!
Are you swaddling her? We still swaddle and our LO is 3.5 months old. It makes a big difference for us in terms of how long he will sleep.
I swaddle him and then sway with him until he is fully asleep, then put in the PnP. If he is not fully asleep, he will wake up as soon as I put him down. We also let him sleep in the swing frequently.
I do think it is common for BF babies to wake at least once at night to nurse, which is what ours does. But the 1.5 hours at a time will drive you nuts!
If you're concerned that your DD is waking because she is hungry, you could always pump and give BM in a bottle to make sure that she is getting enough before you put her down. I would try that before jumping to formula.
https://www.mother-2-mother.com/tut-layingdown.htm
I thought I didn't want to bedshare but changed my mind at about 9months, wish I would have started earlier!
Dr. Jay Gordon, pediatrician says "...Don't let anyone convince you that this is a harmful choice or that there will be "no way" to get him out of your bed if you don't do it now. Don't believe anyone who says that babies who cuddle and nurse all night long "never" learn to self soothe or become independent. This is simply not true but it sells books and the myths stay in our culture." and Dr. James McKenna, PhD, says " By sleeping next to it's mother, the infant receives protection, warmth, emotional reassurance, and breastmilk - in just the forms and quantities that nature intended."
i hope these can help:
https://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleep.html
https://www.lalecheleague.org/faq/sleep.html
https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=140594519332212&id=134844053221572
https://www.phdinparenting.com/2009/02/28/gentle-baby-and-toddler-sleep-tips/#.TvIxwNQ7X4s
https://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2010/11/08/breast-milk-vs-formula-which-helps-mom-sleep-better/?hpt=Sbin/
https://www.analyticalarmadillo.co.uk/2011/11/dangers-of-demonising-bed-sharing.html
Little Rose is 2 1/2.
Formula does not necessarily mean your baby will sleep through the night. I understand about having a problem sleeper, since DS didn't sleep through the night until 18 months old. At 20 months he'll STTN a couple of days and have a day that he wakes up. It's just who he is. That said I would be crazy, if I wasn't getting good sleep. For us that means cosleeping, starting at 4 months, which I said we'd never do when I was pregnant. However it has a been a godsend.
Have you considered having baby in the room with you but in a cosleeper so she's near you but not in your bed? Also swaddling helped a lot when DS was little. A noise machine may be helpful also in getting her to sleep. You could try putting a heating pad down for a few minutes on the crib, to warm the area and then remove it before putting the baby down so she isn't going from your warm arms to a cold sheet. Be careful you don't get it too hot. Good luck, sleeping issues stink.
My DD is 11 weeks and was born 8 weeks early but we don't go by adjusted age. We just treat her more cautiously. If you adhere more to the adjusted age schedule it's no wonder your LO is behaving as she is. She's tiny and new. Her tummy can't hold much at once and digests your BM quickly, as it should. She misses your sounds and smells when she's away from you so naturally she sleeps better on you. Trust me, there's been nights DD has slept on my chest. She has just started STTN in the past week. And by STTN I mean from maybe 10-11 pm to 3-5 am. The ped said they consider 6 hours a "night" for an infant. So cut yourself a little slack. It sounds like you and baby are right on track.
Formula isn't going to make a baby STTN anyway. The reason it works sometimes is because it fills their tummies tighter and doesn't digest as well so they don't feel hungry as quickly. IMO it's a side effect of formula, not a benefit. Some ppl will even give a baby at ours' ages cereal to make them sleep longer. I don't impose my parenting on others but that really irritates me. A 3 week old's tummy is not ready for cereal and upsetting their digestive system isn't worth a few more hours sleep for the parents. You certainly don't want to mess up your supply so if you do give her a bottle you should pump as often.
If you don't want to co-sleep you're probably going to have to wean her away from it since she's done it this long. Are you swadding her? DD didn't like to be swaddled til about 2 weeks ago and now she sleeps like a log when wrapped up. Try letting her fall asleep on you and then putting her to bed. It helps to wrap a flannel blanket around her swaddled body, then lay the blanket down with her. Tuck it into the sides of the crib (we fold ours under the bassinet pad) and this gives her not only a warm surface to lay on (a cold crib sheet could wake her) but also your smell absorbed into the blanket. After you've done this a couple times try laying her down to bed drowsy but not asleep. DD will now go down after a eating and fall asleep on her own. Having the bassinet beside my crib is a life saver. It literally saved my sanity. At first she was in a pack n play bassinet across the room. I'd have to jump up 10 times a night when she cried. I was so utterly exhausted I would do things in the night and not even remember it! Now I can put her paci back in, see if she's spit up, pat her bottom, sing quietly to her, etc. with just a lift of my arm. We both get more sleep.
I know it's been said already, but formula isn't the answer. DS is almost 3, was formula fed, and still doesn't sttn most nights lol. DD is not quite 3 weeks, breast fed, and sleeps 2 stretches a night that are between 3-5 hours each.
Does swaddling help? Rocking her to sleep? Have you tried something other than the crib? Does a pacifier help? I think that going from a small, tight womb to a large, open crib could be a scary thing.
I'm a firm believer that some babies just are not good sleepers. Especially since our nearly 3 week old daughter usually sleeps better than our nearly 3 year old son. We seriously have tried everything with him to no avail.
Thanks everyone! I will stick with EBF.
DD hates swaddling. I have tried and tried. She just loves touching me. She will inch her way up my body so her head is on my neck. I tried last night to have her next to me and she did the same thing. Thinking about peeling off my skin and put it in the crib. lol. I really think if she could like being swaddled, this would make a huge difference.
Will try the heating pad trick, although I do not know if that is the problem. I rock her to sleep and lay her down w/o waking up. When she wakes up an hour later, she can't self soothe. I also don't think she is sleeping soundly because she rarely wakes up on me. We also use a sound machine. I think that gets me the one hour she will be in her crib.
I tried letting her fuss (not cry) for a while last night. She didn't go back to sleep and I couldn't take it anymore. I picked her up and she fell asleep in about two seconds. Am I just being so unrealistic to get her to sleep in her crib for more than an hour????