Are you scared?

emiliemetcalf · December 2011

I was just reading the pregnancy symptom post below, and it got me thinking...

Is anyone else terrified of giving birth again?

I actually lie awake at night worrying about spraining my pelvis again and having a toddler and a newborn and not being able to walk. And worrying about the pain and exhaustion of labor. Please no flames, but I really wish I could have a c-section, because I feel like the recovery from a scheduled c would be easier than the "natural" delivery I had with Tess. I tried to talk to DH about the idea of a c-section and he is adamantly opposed unless the doctors think it is the right plan, which at this point, they don't seem to think.

Hopefully by the time I have to give birth I will just be so ready for baby to be out, I won't care how it gets here...

MrsWhiteonWhiteSt · December 2011

No flames from me. I had a super long, painful labor with J and was a nervous wreck imaging it x2.

When I had the chance to choose a c-section with the twins I jumped on it. There were too many "what-ifs" with the twins changing positions and I think any mom with a toddler can NOT face "what-ifs".

TinyPinkBug · December 2011

I was scared as all heck! To a point that I was able to convince DH to buy a bigger house so we could separate the kids more. But it all worked out better than I could ever have hoped, I am still amazed at how well it all went.

TinaL99 · December 2011

I wasn't necessarily scared of giving birth again b/c I had a repeat c/s. I have nothing to compare it to but my recovery went well but it was very slow. I was still having some soreness near my incision up to 12 weeks pp. I feel very fortunate that I was able to have 2 successful c-sections with easier recoveries.

It was a very difficult transition for me to go from 1-2 kids. I chalk a lot of that up to Audrey's reflux, my PPD and Stella being such an easy baby that she spoiled us. To be completely honest, I cried a lot and wondered why we even had a 2nd baby. Now though, almost 4 months in, it's gotten easier and I can honestly say it is all worth it. I love my girls more than anything and seeing them form a sisterly bond is so awesome to watch.

MrsWhiteonWhiteSt · December 2011

TinaL99:
To be completely honest, I cried a lot and wondered why we even had a 2nd baby. Now though, almost 4 months in, it's gotten easier and I can honestly say it is all worth it. I love my girls more than anything and seeing them form a sisterly bond is so awesome to watch.

Tina- it was so comforting to read that, it was me exactly. There were SO many days the 1st few months I felt like we should have just "one and done" b/c having more than 1 kid was so, so hard. I couldn't say anything b/c DH only wanted 1 baby and I begged and begged for "just one more". You're right- it IS so 100% worth it now

Smile58 · December 2011

Umm...yeah. I'm pretty sure at this point I would need some good therapy to get me through another pregnancy let alone childbirth. It is so sad and weighs heavily on my heart every day. I go so far as to try not to talk about my pregnancy and delivery because I don't want to freak myself out into a panic attack or...scare someone so badly they themselves get scared.

It sucks. Bad. Especially because still, almost 8 months out, friends, coworkers, family etc. still find time weekly to reminisce (remind me? WTF) about my pregnancy and labor/delivery as in..."OMGeee I can't believe what...blah blah...blah". Like seriously? Thanks.

emiliemetcalf · December 2011

I am so terrified of labor that I have barely thought about the transition from 1 to 2 kids. I am just expecting it to be really hard, but not physically painful like the actual act of giving birth.

Tina-good perspective on c-sections. I would have NEVER considered a c with Tess, I didn't even want an epidural, but so many of my friends have had really great c-section experiences, that I sometimes forget that it is major surgery with a whole list of possible complications.

jnk062602 · December 2011

I'm really scared about tearing again. My dr assured me that the old scar tissue is not any more apt to rip than normal skin, but in my mind I can see it ripping and then I remember that Ellie has a tiny head and was only 7.1 so chances are this baby will be bigger. I really hope that if I do tear again, I just tear down and not the 2 tears up again. I'm also afraid of the fissures again, ugh

TinyPinkBug · December 2011

I had 2 c-sec, my first one was not a piece of cake. I had a healthy pg, but after my c-sec I basically had post-partum pre-eclampsia, I didn't even know it was possible. I also had a spinal headache for 2+ weeks which was aweful! Now, I having issues with my IUD as a result of c-sec scares :-( Just saying a c-sec isn't always a great experience with great results.

abba916 · December 2011

I knew going into it that I was a repeat C-sec and I was still flipping out- you never know what they might find in there ( scaring and such not like objects..LOL)

I with Tina the transition from 1-2 is tough- especially when LO1 is too little to really "get it"...L was great with X but he was acting out toward Dh & I- I cried to DH that we should have waited and what were we thinking- some of it was post pregnancy hormone related but some was just that even though I knew it would be hard- you dont really know until you are doing it...

Its getting better and I wouldn't change it (we even started talk about #3 - b/c if we want the same age gap we would try to get pregnant this time next year- which seems crazy to me...)

lawells15 · December 2011

You are not alone. I really had a decent birth but I'm so scared of a complication and having a toddler at home makes me even more nervous. Making sure Calyn is taken care of and that I will be able to give her attention and be able to be home for her is huge. I'm so scared something will happen to me.

I also am not looking forward to all of the visitors all of the time again. It makes me strange I know.

Irisheyes1247 · December 2011

TinaL99:

I wasn't necessarily scared of giving birth again b/c I had a repeat c/s. I have nothing to compare it to but my recovery went well but it was very slow. I was still having some soreness near my incision up to 12 weeks pp. I feel very fortunate that I was able to have 2 successful c-sections with easier recoveries.

It was a very difficult transition for me to go from 1-2 kids. I chalk a lot of that up to Audrey's reflux, my PPD and Stella being such an easy baby that she spoiled us. To be completely honest, I cried a lot and wondered why we even had a 2nd baby. Now though, almost 4 months in, it's gotten easier and I can honestly say it is all worth it. I love my girls more than anything and seeing them form a sisterly bond is so awesome to watch.

I am afraid of labor and delivery again, but more because as far as that goes, I think I had a pretty easy time of it last time and I am worried that I just lucked out and things went smoothly and what if they don't work that way this next time. But I am more afraid of going from one baby to two. Charlotte really did spoil us - there were times we felt things were difficult but looking back, she has been SO easy. And again, I am afraid that I am out of luck with this and this next one will be like demon child and I will be resentful and sad about it. It doesn't help that I have been one big weepy mess this whole pregnancy. I'm sure it will all even out eventually but I am really anticipating that all our worlds will be pretty shaken and frankly, kind of sucky for a while.

goosh24 · December 2011

I am nervous, but more so because I had a really good first experience and keep hoping for a repeat one. I was induced but the worst part was my back labor and by the time that was bad enough that I thought it was time for an epidural, it was time to push and 10 minutes later I had a baby. Actually the stitches were probably just as bad as the pushing. And I had a really great recovery, so I'm scared that this time will not be like that. I'm terrified to have a c-section-because of Jules. I don't want to be away that long and I know that it will be tough because she is so clingy with me.

I'm pretty concerned about PPD, I'm going to talk to my OB about it in January. I think the adjustment from one baby to two will be tough and DH is gone from 7 am to 6 pm and will have sporting events at least 2 nights a week. It's a long day with just Jules, it will be tough with 2 and I don't think having J go to the babysitter a few days a week will be feasible.

battybtags · December 2011

Sort of....I'm hoping to try and VBAC this time, but of course that brings it's scary stuff along with it. I had a horrible labor and 3+hrs of pushing with DD which left me completely exhausted and having a CS. I do NOT want to go through that torture again-I didnt catch up on sleep for months after. Part of me hopes for a repeat CS just because I know what the recovery is like, but part of me wants to VBAC too. Baby was breech a few weeks ago so if it doesnt change, at least my decision is made for me!

olivia_eve · December 2011

It's hard because everything is so unknown. I was petrified of being induced with T because I was scared it would lead to a c-section and I didn't know how I would care for 2 kids recovering from that. Luckily I avoided the induction and I thought my labor with T was much better. It was so much faster and things like breastfeeding were a lot easier the second time around. For me, the transition from 1 to 2 kids was a million times easier than the transition from 0 to 1.

ryan5827 · December 2011

im not sure if i am happy or sad that i read this post, haha. my hubby and i are expecting our first 7/31/2012. i know i am only 8 weeks in, but my pregnancy has been easy so far! as soon as i found out we were expecting, i started reading birth stories and getting terrified that my body will just be RUINED, haha. i see that some of you have said that your births werent bad and the healing wasnt too bad, so that gives me some hope! Tongue Tied

i guess its nice to see that even tho you guys are scared, and that it was hard, that a lot of you would still do it again!

aSp6907 · December 2011

My labor, birth and healing was easy for me. It was the pregnancy that has me scared of getting pregnant again. I was high risk from about 10 weeks on. Being pulled out on bed rest at 13 weeks. I had hyperemisis my entire pregnancy. I gained no weight and couldn't eat or keep anything down until about 7 or 8 months in. It all ended when I was sent in at 37 weeks to be induced because Belle stopped growing, I had low fluid, and an aged placenta. It was horrible and I swore up and down the whole pregnancy that we were done. Then Belle was such an easy baby. Only cried when she was hungry, which she put herself on a super strict schedule of every 4 hours during the day.

We talked about another one and have gone back and forth a lot on if we should have another one. Right now we are holding off and will revisit in the fall.

NYmama2 · December 2011

I vowed never to even have a second child until I forgot the pain of the first one. That faded within 2 years and then I found myself pregnant. There is definitely no fear of the unknown with #2. It's fear of what is going to happen. When the dr came in to tell me it was time to push was when it really all hit me. I looked at my dh and started crying and told him I was terrified to go through it again.

The nurse looked at me and said, you will do it in 3 pushes. I looked right at her and said, don't even make promises you can't keep. Sure enough, she was out in 3 laughs, not pushes. I pushed once and then the dr said something and I started laughing. The dr looked at me and said, wow you must have some strong muscles when you laugh (wish that was the case now) he's like I bet we can laugh that kid out of you and sure enough I did. Granted she was a peanut and only weighed 5lbs 15 oz, but still.

You can do this!! We've all been there and we all know that the pain is worth it once you see that precious face.

Ashnmike528 · December 2011

I'm having a repeat c/s and I'm scared for the recovery with a toddler at home. I had a great recovery last time but I think that was because I was able to rest when DD was sleeping. I have no idea how I am going to lift her in/out of her crib for naps when DH goes back to work. This is the kind of thing that keeps me up at night!

MarcyIam · December 2011

I'm scared in general of going for number 2. I'm afraid number 2 could turn into #'s 2 and 3. I'm afraid something could be wrong with #2 and that we should have just been happy with just one. I'm worried how Ryan will take it considering he is SO clingy to me. I'm worried about how the baby will be - while not the worst it could have been, Ryan was definitely not an easy baby. And as far as delivery, my epi didn't really work and that SUCKED.

And for the vain stuff (flameworthy, I know) I faired really well with the first pregnancy - didn't get sick, didn't get that big or uncomfortable, only have a couple stretch marks, only had one small tear and was able to deliver vaginally. Scares the heck out of me that it won't go as well the second time around.

I know - it'll be worth it, regardless of the outcome, but yeah. To say I'm scared is an understatement. I've actually cried at the thought thought sometime and we haven't even gone back to the clinic to try again! lol

But, I do want him to have a sibling, so back to the clinic we'll go someday. ;-)

Want a personalized experience?

Are you scared?

Re: Are you scared?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards