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January 2012 Moms
Sascha3
member
Why I am so much more afraid of labor this time...
Sascha3
member
This is about a previous miscarriage if you don't want to read.
I went natural with my daughter that I had as a teen. Well, mostly...had a little Demerol, but no epi. But this time I am sooooo nervous about everything. At my NST scan today I started to get lightheaded and sweaty from her talking about cervixes. Then it occured to me where some of this anxiety may be coming from. I had kind of been blocking it, but now I can't stop thinking about it.
Last November I had a blighted ovum and miscarried at 8-9 weeks. I was told the fetus was not viable at 5 weeks, but since they orginally thought it was ectopic and it turned out to be in my uterus I didn't trust them and decided to continue to carry until I knew for sure or miscarried naturally. I started to have some red blood on a Friday and knew it was going to happen. I woke up around 5am with horrible cramping and an uncontrollable urge to push. I went to the bathroom and literally couldn't stop myself from pushing. TMI, but I went #2 plenty during this time so I wouldn't let my husband in to help. The pain was so excruciating that I started to black out several times. I had to keep lying on the cold tile.
After 20 minutes of pushing I went back to my bedroom and couldn't get off the floor. I was soaking wet from sweat and almost delirious and crying out in pain. I could not have sat in a car if I tried, so I stuck it out. My husband kept trying to helplessly help. Luckily I had thought to ask for Vicodin in case it happened over a weekend, so I took one and within 30 minutes I was back in bed. The next evening, I felt something when I went pee and it was the whole sac coming out a little. It must have been pushed out partially.
This is why I am so scared...if it hurt this bad how is real labor going to feel?? I distinctly remember it feeling like the third stage of labor with my daughter. Granted that was long ago, but with this miscarriage I was very close to blacking out from the pain and felt completely out of control. I am starting to get so much anxiety about this birth now.
Layla 01.08.12
Chloe and Vivian 07.23.13
My Gang. Halloween 2013
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Why I am so much more afraid of labor this time...
Oh hon I'm sorry =(
That sounds like such a traumatic experience and I can see why you have anxiety. Do you plan on getting an epidural? If so, I am so confident for you that this will be a 100% different experience from what you went through last year. Even if you don't, I think experiencing the entirety of this pregnancy as opposed to what happened last year will make this an entirely unique experience, at least I really hope so for you.
PS congrats on reaching full term today!!
Thank you:) I keep saying I am on the fence, but in reality, I am pretty sure I will end up with an epi. My medical anxiety issues are so much worse than they ever were before. Although the thought of a shot in my back gives me crazy anxiety too!
And yes, I am sure that at least this time I have such a beautiful positive thing to look forward to, instead of knowing it is all bad, like last time. I think I am just having an extra anxiety day. I woke up feeling very anxious and full of dread and it won't go away...even after my 5 hour nap:( I even kept crying today for no reason...ugh!!! Tomorrow is a new day.
On a positive note...I am now getting NST scans twice a week due to my "advanced maternal age". I had my first today and 4 minutes into the scan she had already had the movement and heart rate increases they were looking for, although they continued for the minimum 20 minutes. And the ultrasound of her fluids was perfect. She passed her test with flying colors!!
Layla 01.08.12
Chloe and Vivian 07.23.13
My Gang. Halloween 2013
See!? Everything is on track to be just fine at delivery.
One thing I am going to MAKE SURE happens is that when it's time for the epi, I'm telling them that I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT BEFOREHAND. Bc it will surely freak me the heck out. This is kind of amazing coming from someone who had their fair share of needles to even get pregnant (we did fertility treatments and I did shots during the process to get pregnant and then even after BFP for progesterone treatment). lol
I have my highly emotional/anxious days too. Sigh. One day at a time. We're almost there!
Oh my, I am so sorry you had to go through that. I couldn't even imagine...
This too! I don't want them to talk to me about it. Just do it!
Layla 01.08.12
Chloe and Vivian 07.23.13
My Gang. Halloween 2013
I'm so sorry you went through an experience like that. I think it's a good thing that you're acknowledging those fears and knowing that's where your anxiety about labor is stemming from will probably help you to deal with it better. I had an epidural last time and am considering going natural this time, but honesty the epi. was the easiest part of my whole experience. I barely felt the needle and I think without the rest that I was able to get from having it my labor wouldn't have been as successful. Either way you decide to go, you'll have a beautiful, healthy baby girl in the end and it'll all be worth it!
Good luck to you!
I had something similar happen. Before this pregnancy, I miscarried around 10w and I had horrible pains as I passed the tissues. I was told that that is what labor would feel like since it is your body's way of "contracting the baby out". There was a 2ish hour period where I couldn't leave the bathroom (TMI!!) and I think it helped to mentally prepare me for what labor might be like.
I am sorry you had to go through that, but I can tell you are one tough cookie, and you'll be awesome!
I can't help but to think about the pain/anxiety spiral - when you're afraid your pain is worse which makes your anxiety worse which makes the pain worse.... That was a horrible experience that you went through alone without all the good things that will be present during the birth of this LO.
Work on your relaxation techniques, talk to your husband and doctor about your fears and maybe even clue the nurse(s) in and they'll be able to provide some extra support. If you want the epi this time then go for it, but I wouldn't automatically assume you need it. You did it once before without it, and with "medical anxiety" it might not be the best thing. (side note: my mom has fears about doctors/hospitals and she had an epi with my older brother but not me and she said she preferred my birth).
You're going to do great, and soon you'll have your new LO in your arms!
I can completely understand why you would be scared. You went through quite a tramatic experience. I just would definitely talk to your nurses and doctor as a PP said they can help you deal with your anxiety. T&P for a smooth, pain free delivery.
Lurking because I am due at the end of December.....
I also had a very painful miscarriage shortly before I got pregnant with this child and I also have been flipping out and getting nervous about the birth of this child. I remember thinking as I was lying in the tub during my MC I don't remember labor ever feeling this bad. I hemmorhaged a lot and had to go to ER to be monitored and cleaned out for several hours. About 3-4 weeks ago we had a false labor scare and I started having a panic attack just thinking about labor. I hope both you and I do just fine when the time actually comes for us to labor. Good luck.
I'm sorry that you went through this too. I know it has not helped my anxiety any to have that memory. Good luck to you too:)
And thanks to everyone for the supporting comments;)
Layla 01.08.12
Chloe and Vivian 07.23.13
My Gang. Halloween 2013