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XP: Mixed-faith families

anna7602anna7602 member
in Attachment Parenting

We're traveling to celebrate Christmas with my family this weekend, but I'm not sure what to do about the menorah lighting (DD and DH both celebrate Hanukkah). Take our menorah with me and just light it at my aunt's house before Christmas Eve dinner? This seems weird. Explain to DD that there will be no candle-lighting for a few days and it will resume when we return to NY?

DD is just becoming aware of the Christmas/Hanukkah divide this year. She was beside herself when she learned my ILs don't have a Christmas tree. It's so hard to explain when she doesn't really understand why the two holidays would be mutually exclusive. I am tempted to pull the "but Jesus was Jewish!" card if my cousins think it's weird to light a menorah on Christmas Eve, but I am honestly seeking opinions here.

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Re: XP: Mixed-faith families

  • anna7602anna7602 member

    imageMandJS:
    We're not mixed faith, but I see no problem bringing the menorah and lighting at normal time. We often have traveled during Hannukah and have simply brought the menorah and candles with us.

    At someone else's house?

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  • barnwifebarnwife member
    While not a mixed-faith family (we are Catholic), if I was in your shoes, I would totally bring the menorah with us to use. And, fwiw, if we were having Jewish guests, it wouldn't weird me out at all to have them bring and use a menorah during Hanukkah. Actually, I'd use it as a learning opportunity for J. if he were older. (As you pointed out, and I tell the religious ed class I teach frequently, Jesus was Jewish. Plus, learning about other faiths is good, imo.)
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  • erbearerbear member
    We do both. If we were going to be away, we'd bring our menorah. I don't see the issue or why that would be weird...
    "Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies. God damn it, you've got to be kind." - Kurt Vonnegut
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  • webMistress0609webMistress0609 member
    ITA with the pp. Bring the menorah. If they think it's weird, oh well. 
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  • blu-eyedwifeblu-eyedwife member

    We're mixed faith and although this is our first year with a LO, I have always brought my menorah with me up to the inlaws during the holidays when they overlapped.  I also printed out transliteration of the blessing and passed those around so everyone could participate.

    You may be surprised by how eager your family is to join in.  My inlaws are hyper-Catholic (FIL was a Catholic priest before he left the priesthood to have a family.)  They're a bit antisemitic and even they haven't hesitated to join DH and I in the ceremony.

     

    As far as your LO, our plan is to teach him that there are various paths to follow when it comes to religion and none are right or wrong.  Daddy's family follows one path, mommy's family follows another.  He's lucky enough to get to experience two different ones, but there are many many more.

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  • tchubirubitchubirubi member

    imagebarnwife:
    While not a mixed-faith family (we are Catholic), if I was in your shoes, I would totally bring the menorah with us to use. And, fwiw, if we were having Jewish guests, it wouldn't weird me out at all to have them bring and use a menorah during Hanukkah. Actually, I'd use it as a learning opportunity for J. if he were older. (As you pointed out, and I tell the religious ed class I teach frequently, Jesus was Jewish. Plus, learning about other faiths is good, imo.)

    This.

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  • anna7602anna7602 member

    Thanks, everyone. We're packing the Menorah and that's that.

    My thoughts on all of this are really hard to articulate to begin with, and I doubt I'll make much sense here right now if I try. At some point, we're going to reach a juncture where it might not be ok to have everyone go along with the "cultural tradition" just for DD's sake or because my DH and I have chosen to follow both traditions. How do you draw the line between something like inviting others to participate in our rituals and teaching DD that we're not all just doing this song and dance that doesn't have any religious/deeper significance to it? For example, I haven't baptized DD because I feel like that would be disingenous of me when I don't plan to raise her strictly Catholic (since Catholics really view baptism as a commitment to raise a child in the faith). I don't fast for Yom Kippur, either, even though DH does. DD will grow up and realize one day that despite the abundance of joint celebrations, there really will be things that aren't meant to be celebrated jointly or that she will be left out of entirely because she hasn't been baptized/batmitzvah'd/whatever and I don't know when/how to handle this.

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  • glasgow_girlglasgow_girl

    I think you are doing a great job allowing your daughter to be educated about multiple faiths.

    Like many other PPs, if I had guests that I knew were Jewish (or another faith) I don't think I would mind if they brought part of their holiday celebrations to our home.

    It's not like you're going to sacrifice a chicken or anything...

     

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  • Mata HariMata Hari
    Bring the menorah! Why not? (unless your hosts would be offended). DS has a Noah's Ark menorah with artificial candles. That may be better for travel. Have dd trouble shoot with you. The whole point is that the oil stayed burning for 8 days straight. Can she think of a unique way of celebrating this while on the road? Jews are nothing if not creative and adaptable! I don't know a single rabbi that wouldn't be fascinated to hear how you made the holiday mobile! GL
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