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AvaLikeLava
member
Potty training a kid who isn't expressing interest? WWYD?
AvaLikeLava
member
G is 3y and 4m old. He knows when he's gone in his diaper, but expresses no interest in going in the toilet. He's also extremely shy about pooping and doesn't like anyone around him. He runs and hides and if you get close to him, he tells at you.
On my end, I really don't think diapers are an inconvenience. The 14m old wears them, and if I'm changing one, I can just as easily change a second. I like that I don't have to make plans around toilet breaks. So I have been pushin the subject with him at all.
Third element is that in G's preschool room, it appears that only the girls are potty trained at this point. I'm going to inquire more about it today though, so r has no boy role models. DH asked G about going to the bathroom recently and g said 'like the girls?'
So... With all o the above would you TRY a 3d potty training method regardless, NY day is the only non-Christmas holiday I get off work, so I can be around for 3 days and help do this. I don't get another 3 day weekend until May.
What would you do? Try it and expect failure? Or just wait until any of the 3 factors change?
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Re: Potty training a kid who isn't expressing interest? WWYD?
Photo by Zemya Photography
I would try it. I mean, I don't really see how it can hurt to try. If he starts to get upset or resists a lot, then table it for another couple of months. He might get into it once he starts, or it might be met with resistance. But I think you might want to try.
Also, see if there is a routine they have at school for the potty that you an emulate at home so that he's getting into a groove.
I don't think he's behind by any means. My nephew is 3.5 (born in July) and not even close to being potty trained.
I would do it. I waited too long with one of my children, and she reached the whole "I am in charge" phase of life it it was hell. Waiting until she showed 'readiness' would have left us in diapers at 8, I swear.
While I do think kids need to be ready physically, as in able to communicate, able to hold it, waiting too long did not work well for us.
IMO, it's not worth it to try to train a child who isn't ready and isn't taking ownership over the process. It might be flameworthy since I know a bunch of moms on here are pro-PTing at a very young age, but I don't think that's training the child; it's training the adult.
Anyway, I would let him come to it on his own. Keep encouraging him but not force the issue. If he isn't ready it's just going to be miserable for you.
I'd give it a try. Maybe just start with having him sit on it in the morning and at night before/after bath(?) I am very lucky in that my preschool did all of the hard work for me. I would definitely talk to them and find out how much they are helping with it. I think it really needs to be reinforced there. (That may not apply if he's only there a couple hours, can't remember what your situation is.) That said, it can be unbelievably hard at first even if your child is in school all day. We have had so many, many accidents, but 2 months into it, those are much fewer and far between and he is finally telling us when he has to go rather than us reminding him/taking him to sit on the potty.
My friend's son is almost 4 and a half and is not potty trained because he has never shown an interest and no one has pushed it with him.
This exactly. I know I am one of the few that believe this on here. This is honestly the one area that I truly believe needs to be fully child-directed. If they aren't ready, it will only be more of a headache for you and most likely they will eventually regress.
We completely let DS1 lead the way. He was fully day trained at exactly 35 months and he NEVER once has had an accident in public or at home. Several of my friends who PT'ed when their child wasn't fully ready just dealt with tons of accidents everywhere.
GL!
Don't worry about the age thing
There were even several girls in DS's preschool class last year who weren't trained until closer to 4.
Oh, I'm really not worried about the age thing at all. I just listed is as a reference, so that you guys knew where he was. I think if he was 4, I might push it more, but right now, it's really not a biggie to me.
To be honest, I dread the idea of potty training, so I'm actually not pushing him for MY benefit, rather than his. I guess this post was to see if I was doing him a dis-service.
Photo by Zemya Photography
There are so many things to take into consideration on whether your child is ready or not.
If he is going longer periods with dry diapers, and seems to have control over his pooping, then he is probably physically ready.
If you don't already have a potty, I would get one. Just start to get him comfortable with the concept of using the toilet instead of the potty. Maybe throw some potty books in with his Christmas gift. Pirate Potty is a good one. If he resists, don't push it. Especially if you think he has anxiety about pooping. My niece is 10 and still has issues with constipation that I believe stem from anxiety.
I trained Reed early because people were putting pressure on me and it was h#ll. Penny pretty much trained herself because she wanted to. Totally different experiences!
I pushed C to potty train because he was physically ready and I did not want to wait any longer. I knew that if I waited much longer and he got to the "I'm in charge" phase before PTing, he'd be in diapers until he was 10. He didn't want to at first, but he was dry for long periods of time, knew when he had to poop, and could talk. I put in place some schedules/routines about it and it worked really well without tons of accidents. He had one short lived (thankfully!) regression 6 months later but is back on track now.
If C had showed no signs of readiness, I think I would have waited. HIs signs showed up at 18 months and then made no progress for a whole year until I pushed him. So I guess I did wait but I didn't wait forever. I was terrified of having an almost 5 year refusing to poop anywhere but a pull-up (like one of our nephews) quite honestly and really felt a need to push before he started really resisting (which started with other things when he was a few weeks past his 3rd bday, six months after he was PT'd).