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January 2012 Moms
cara117
member
2nd time moms.. how does "see how it goes" end?
cara117
member
I would like to not get an epidural, but I find myself saying I'll "see how it goes." I am not completely against an epidural, I'd just like to see how far I can handle the pain. I think a lot of people think this but everyone I've talked to with this plan ends up with the epidural. Just wondering if anyone out there had that plan and didn't get the epidural?
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Re: 2nd time moms.. how does "see how it goes" end?
Unfortunately, many of the "I'll see how it goes" or "I'll wing it" or "I'll make up my mind once I'm in labor" mindsets usually wind up with an epidural. There is a point in labor when all women think "Gosh, I can't do this".....even I thought that at one point and I was fully prepared to go natural. It's that point where you feel like you can't go on and deal with any more pain. But it's also usually when you're body is going through transition and is dilating quickly.
In my honest opinion, to have a planned unmedicated delivery is like a marathon and an exam. You have to practice and study. I did a lot of reading of what was going to happen to my body and what was normal so that I wouldn't freak out when certain things happened. I had ways to cope with the pain and since I could walk around, I was able to get into positions that were somewhat comfortable while dealing with contractions.
I also had a doula for support (since my family is out-of-state) and made sure my hubby was on-board with our no-epidural decision. We had a birth plan and a natural-birth friendly midwife and nurses.
I got through that "I can't do this" stage and realized that I was 9cm! I was almost ready to push and 30 mins later DS was born. Totally unmedicated.
You can read our birth story on TheBump in the link in my siggy.
With the proper preparation and support you CAN TOTALLY do it without an epidural.
I totally had that as my plan and I might have had a chance to make it if I wasn't a) induced with pitocin, b) receiving antibiotics for GSB that burned going into my veins, c) did have the bp cuff literally bruising my arm every 15 minutes and d) confined to laying in bed on my sides because of the above reasons. I was induced due to high bp, so once we knew that was the plan I kind of just decided to see what I could do.and go from there.
This time I'm in the clear so far bp-wise, so I have more hope to go med-free. But what I learned last time is that you can't predict what will and won't happen. If you are dead set on going med-free, have proper support and a backup plan to distract/help you if the pain gets to be too much. I'm not a die-hard med-free person. I plan to bring tennis balls for massage, a birthing ball, heating rice socks, etc to get as far as I can. I also plan to be out of bed as much as possible, God willing. If I need an epidural, that's what it is there for. My previous experience was decent and DS was not born drugged out or anything.
I was "I'll see how it goes" with my first. I was afraid of the pain, but more afraid of the epidural (no other reasoning aside from that! Lol).
I wound up developing a rare syndrome and because of even further complications on top of the HELLP Syndrome, I wasn't permitted pain meds at all. My advice to myself has become "be careful what you wish for!" I wound up having my membranes stripped in the hospital, an hour later my water broken, and less than an hour after that I was started on the highest dose of pitocin permissible and went from NO labor to the strongest level of labor there is, having the strongest contractions possible which were lasting forever and coming fast & furious...from 8am-3:30pm, when they finally put me under general anesthesia to deliver via C section. I wasn't even awake to see my baby born, which is something I will always have a pain in my heart about. TG we both wound up with no ongoing complications (I was told I may have to follow with three separate specialists for a year or more), but still...
Your question is what I am worried about.
I am in the camp "I'd really like to do natural, but if something comes up, I won't beat myself up". I am sure this isn't ideal since you do need to prepare yourself mentally, but honestly the thought of an epidural scares me more than the pain... so I have that going for me, I guess?
It's all a mental game. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best... That's my game plan!
Unfortunately?
I actually don't think these are necessarily true. In my experience with my friends and family and aquaintances (who none have done practicing and studying or had doula's or support other then their husbands and maybe their mom) all have gone in with the "wait and see" attitude. I think only a small minority of us (maybe 3 or 4 out of like 50ish?) have had epidurals and all those epidurals were for a good reason, not just to avoid the pain.
From my own story, I went in with a wait and see. I did get an epidural, however that was after 24 hours of back labour (I felt nothing in the front at all), no sleep and no food (I was not hungry at all. The nurses eventually gave me some toast and jam because they knew I needed food). I was not progressing fast and at my hospital once the drug guy leaves for the night, he doesn't come back for standard epidurals, only emergencies so it was a "get it now or don't get it" situation and I knew I wouldn't last much longer energy wise unless I managed to relax and possibly sleep. The epidural achieved that for me. This time is also a wait and see, but hopefully my labour will follow the "rule" that second labours are generally 1/2 as long as first labours. I can handle 15 hours no problem now!
Daughter #1 - February 12, 2010
natural m/c March 11, 2011 at 8 1/2 weeks
Daughter #2 - January 11, 2012
Ectopic pregnancy discovered November 6, 2012 at 6 weeks
Daughter #3 - January 19, 2014
Started our exploration into the world of international adoption June 2012. We have no idea what this is going to look like but we are excited to find out!
I'm sorry, pain avoidance is not a good reason to get an epidural?
What?
I really need to stop reading these posts.... grumble grumble.
No that's a fine reason to get an epidural, but out of everyone I know who's gotten the epidural, pain was not the reason they got it.
Daughter #1 - February 12, 2010
natural m/c March 11, 2011 at 8 1/2 weeks
Daughter #2 - January 11, 2012
Ectopic pregnancy discovered November 6, 2012 at 6 weeks
Daughter #3 - January 19, 2014
Started our exploration into the world of international adoption June 2012. We have no idea what this is going to look like but we are excited to find out!
In my experience see how it goes led to an epidural, but I was fine with that. This time instead of saying I'll see how it goes, I hired a doula to give it my best shot at going natural.
ETA: And FTR, I don't know anyone who got an epidural for any reason other than pain avoidance. That comment was weird - getting it for another reason doesn't make anything better or worse.
Some women end up chosing to get an epidural if baby's heartbeat takes a big dip once or twice. The big dip in HR will make some docs chose to do an emergency C-section. If you don't already have an epi in place then they may do general anesthesia. If you have an epi in place already then you can possibly avoid getting KO'd. I saw one girl get an epi on A Baby Story for this exact reason, even though she had started out 100% against anything but a natural birth. Her family ended up convincing her to get the epi incase LO's HR dropped again. She got the epi and baby's HR ended up taking a dip and they did the C-Section. She got to stay awake.
So that could be a reason why someone gets an epi not specifically for the reason of avoiding pain. HTH!
It really depends upon your pain management techniques, pain threshold, how fast your progress, and how serious you are about wanting/not wanting one.
Keep in mind that you will reach a point where it is too late to get one, and that may be the very point you want an epi.
Personally.. I could not have handled the pain. I got there at 12am for an induction and barely slept all night. I didn't have him until 7pm the next day... I was really out of it and I was having back labor which felt like someone was stabbing me repeatedly in the back.
In a nutshell, I would say be prepared with pain management techniques but above all, now how you handle stressful, painful situations and make your plan from there.
I really think you have to know yourself and how *you* react to things. I know that people in my bradley class last time were of the mind that they'd tell themselves that pain relief was not even an option, didn't exist, etc. because if they knew it was there, they'd be tempted. This is how their minds worked and this is how they knew they had to get through it. and they did.
I know that I am the opposite. If I feel trapped, I'll panic and that is the WORST thing you can do. I know for *myself* that if I tell myself I'll check in every so often and evaluate the situation and give myself the freedom to change my mind, I'm much more likely to be able to stick it out. Mentally, rather than think "I can't handle this for 12 more hours!!!" I need to break it up into chunks and think "can I handle this till X time, when I'll re-evaluate". I don't know if that makes sense, but that's how I think about it, and I got through a pitocin induction that way with zero pain meds. That was my "we'll see how it goes" approach.
Now. All of that being said, I really do think you need to be prepared as well. Don't go in "winging" it and have no idea how to get through the pain, or how you, yourself, handle that type of thing. Know that during transition you WILL want to give up and you WILL believe with every fiber of your being that you CANNOT possibly do it anymore. But at that point it's almost over. So prepare your coach to tell you that, because you probably won't believe yourself even if you tell yourself it's almost over.
It's true there's no medal for going pain-med-free during labor. and it hurts, I won't lie. but if it's what you want, you really can do it.