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Success after IF
Why don't I feel like my family is finished????
I feel like I should feel like my family is done with the birth of the twins but I don't.....why? We have three frozen embryos and maybe knowing that is making me think we can't be finished. EVERYONE asks if we are finished and just assume that I will say yes but I can't say it bc I just don't know. I mean 4 kids is crazy....come on....more? What is wrong with me? My OB couldn't even talk me into birth control or an IUD at my last appt. I really WANT to feel like my family is finish but I don't...I don't get it. How did YOU know you were done? We wouldn't do another fresh IVF to have more kids but we will most likely do a FET when the twins are much older. You would think I would be running screaming with the though of 5 or 6 kids but I'm not....what the heck is wrong with me haha. I also think I should just get my tubes tied so we don't have a surprise but there is NO way I would ever be able to just turn off my fertility (I say that like I'm actually fertile haha). Anyways just feeling strange tonight....
"I have four children. Two are adopted. I forget which two. -Bob Constantine
"All for Love,' a Saviour prayed 'Abba Father have Your way. Though they know not what they do...Let the Cross draw men to You...."
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Re: Why don't I feel like my family is finished????
After two losses, third time was a charm.
pm me for blog link
Should we call you Mrs Duggar? Lol
I always wanted 5 so I don't think you are crazy at all
~12/05 * 7/06 * 12/06 * 4/07 * 10/08~
"When the world says, "Give up" hope whispers, "Try one more time"
After 4yrs, 5 IUI's, 2 IVF's, 2 FET's, PGD, and 5 losses our little miracle is finally here!
how does your DH feel?
i KNOW i'm finished - I knew it when the twins were a few months old... while i loved them, and loved having them i knew that it was the last time i wanted to go through it all.
I still feel that way... when i see babies I don't get "baby fever" like i used to... not at all. I'm looking forward to moving on to the next phases of our life with bigger boys, etc... i'm totally OK with not having more babies - and i'm shocked by it - i always thought women always wanted more or something, lol.
so- just go with it! it's normal to feel whatever you are feeling!
Through my recent research (lol... just talking with lots of moms about this topic) I think a lot of us just have that innate yearning to nurture others. I never thought I'd have more than 2 or 3, but most days I love the idea of having four kids. (For me, 4 is the limit though, it's the perfect number in my opinion). I also think a big part of it is the hormones we have right after having a baby. I used to listen to my friends who recently had a baby say they wanted another one, and I honestly thought they were a little wacko. Now I totally get it. I do think that when my youngest is around 2 or so I will hopefully feel more "done". Or I'll be trying my darnedest to get pregnant!
I'm the praying kind, and I do pray for peace about it. I just want to not clog up my brain thinking about it so much (as I do now).
Hubby would have as many as I would let him haha. He's more crazy than me on this topic....
"I have four children. Two are adopted. I forget which two. -Bob Constantine
"All for Love,' a Saviour prayed 'Abba Father have Your way. Though they know not what they do...Let the Cross draw men to You...."
For the most part, I feel like I am done. I felt like I was done during the pregnancy and still feel quite happy with a boy and a girl. But, I am still struggling with my delivery and feel like I want (no NEED) to experience another birth like my son's to make all right with my world. It is hard to explain, but I feel like my birth just went nothing like I expected and although the outcome was amazing, I feel like I need to do it just one more time...but more like the first time and less like the second time.
Ok- so I know I am only a week out, and may have too many emotions and hormones floating around, but there is a part of me that is just not done.
We also have 4 frozen embies left so I know that option is there. DH wants a vasectomy, but that doesn't scare me. I could always just <try> another FET to see what happens, right?
If you don't feel like you are done, then you aren't done!
Look, I would never be able to leave any frozen embies behind, even if I had 4 kids. So I know how you feel.
I told DH if this pregnancy pans out, we are probably done as far as treatments go. But I don't want to go on BC either, so the door (however miniscule that door is) is left open.
4 Fresh IVF cycles + 1 FET where embies didn't survive the thaw = 2 perfect little men!
sFET 11/9/11 - Beta 11/18 BFP!
Yep!
Savannah
Callista
Baby Trail Blog
"Someday we will look at our babies and know it will be worth it. If it was easy, we would not have had our babies, the babies we were meant to have." From Amy052006
Our beautiful son was born July 2008.
2010: 2 IVF's,1 FET = 2 BFN's, 1 c/p
Feb 2011-Unmedicated FET= BFP!! DS #2 born Oct 2011!!.
TTC #1- unexplained...lost left ovary 4/07 IUI #1 2/10/09-BFN IUI #2 3/5/09-BFN IVF # 1-BFP
TTC#2- FET 4/7/11 BFP, Natural mc 5/5/11 IVF#2 ER 9/13/11, ET 9/16/11, Beta #1 9/27/11 BFP 254 Beta #2 9/30/11 793 -Twins!
I am in the minority. I have 6 embies and I cant fathom the idea of more children. I think my age is out weighing the fact that I have good frosties. I am already 41 and cant imagine being pregnant again let alone caring for another infant! Also helping me is that DS is a MANIAC!! He doesn't stop unless to sleep and the smallest task is a challenge. He is super sweet and I love that little man like crazy, but the thought going through this again is exhausting and I don't have it in me. Sad to admit that to myself. :-(
Also I know I'm done because when I see a pregnant woman happy for her but more happy for me that I'm not the pregnant one.
I think this will probably get better for you. It took about 1.5 years, but sometime between Ellie's 1st birthday and Bea being born, all the issues I had stemming from Ellie's crazy birth just kind of...healed. I do think having Bea, and having a plan to VBAC, and then having a very routine, wonderful RCS helped heal over the last of the wounds, but I was a good way there before we had Bea, too.
As for me, I know I'm not done yet. I'd be overjoyed with 4-5 (at least right now - ha!), but DH is on the fence about even a 3rd. I did tell him the other day, though, that I'm not done yet and he seemed fine with it. I'm hoping to start trying for no. 3 when Bea's 2 or so, and then we'll have to see where we stand w/insurance before we consider a 4th.