Pre-School and Daycare
kmhunt11
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Sigh of relief- talked to school director
kmhunt11
member
I hadn't posted much on this because it's just been too upsetting. DD hasn't been doing great at school. She's difficult, and has been since February or so. Now with the new baby she's a total mess. Her Montessori teacher is a man and has been doing this for 26 years. He founded the school. From the beginning, the only feedback I was getting was "Well, she certainly is stubborn." Then at conferences in Nov. I found out she was being sent out of circle every day for refusing to sit correctly and act appropriately. Now, I know my kid, and I know if she doesn't want to sit and listen she's going to be all over the place. I know she's the problem. He just wasn't finding a solution other than what was essentially a time out- often in the corner. Who sends a 3 year old to the corner most days in preschool? So the problem got a little better and then totally regressed again. Yesterday he suggested to me that we try her on half days after the break. I wasn't thrilled about the idea because she did fine with full days at her old school last year, and it's not like her problems are solely in the afternoon- she starts doing it at 9:15am. So I talked to the director today about switching her to half days, and the director was highly concerned that a)I didn't know about the problem until so far into the year, b)she hadn't heard about a problem at all, and c)neither of us knew about any other strategies that been attempted to get her to make the right choices. I unloaded all the things I wasn't thrilled with, and she is going to observe Riley every day for a week after the break to see what the problem is and try to find a better solution. I feel so much better. I should have talked to her sooner! I was also not pleased because I didn't feel like he knew what her strengths are. In Montessori, the times when a kid is particularly receptive and interested in something are called sensitive periods. A month or so ago, she suddenly wanted to write her name and all of the sudden she knew all her letter sounds, and started putting them together. She also really wanted to write her name. 2 weeks into this little phase, at the conference, he had no idea about it. I have wondered if his focus is on the kindergarten-aged kids, leaving the 3 year olds to learn to be in a classroom, and function, but not necessarily working with them. I haven't wanted to complain because he started the school- I didn't know what they could real do. Also, I'm a certified teacher, and am studying for my Montessori certification. I don't want to rock a boat at a school that is interested in employing me next fall! I feel so relieved, and wish I'd rocked the boat a little sooner 
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Re: Sigh of relief- talked to school director
My son recently went through a period at school where suddenly he was the "problem child". His teacher was always frustrated, I was too, and DS was just doing anything he could for attention. DS was acting out at home too, and was just going from punishment to punishment.
I ended up finding childcare for the babies so I could have one day a week just for DS, and suddenly everything has turned around. He is patient again, potty trained, and can go many days without a timeout.
I had to talk to the preschool director too to help his teacher start trying some different techniques. Once you get into that mode where you expect problems and bad behavior from them, it seems like that's all you can see.
Montessori is it's own beast isn't it, when it comes to figuring out what's really happening at school or how your child is doing? My boy has been going for over a year now and we've had a few issues. We adore the school he attends but it hasn't been without issue for sure. Talking directly to the headmistress has brought us the most relief -- she handles stuff and she knows my kid and I get real answers when we talk. DS had a hard time when we added a day to his schedule this fall and after two months of real upset at home and school, we had a meeting with her. It was so productive and rewarding for all of us and we were all able to make some real changes in his day that improved all of our world's so much (his, our's, the school's) that I wished I had thought to do it sooner.
Best of luck sorting out how to proceed!