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LO's with "aggressive" behavior (SPD too)--PLEASE help....

smiling76smiling76 member
in Special Needs

DS1 has a major speech delay and some sensory input issues.  He's in a special program at school for this--but it's only 4 half days--so afterwards he goes to a traditional daycare center.  Well, he's what they call "agressive" with the other kids--pushing and hitting.  He does this at home too.  And what worries me even more is I have a 7 month old who he's VERY violent with--I can't turn my head for a second...literally.  He'll bash his head in.

I know he has some sensory issues--but reality is he can't be beating other kids.  I'm just at my wit's end.  I want to help him SO much.  I know he doesn't WANT to hit--but whatever is causing him to do this is just so overwhelming that he just can't stop himself. 

Please---any suggestions would be appreciated.  He gets OT at his school several times a week.  Unfortunately our insurance won't pay for additional. 

I told daycare to give him periodic squeezes (which DS1 loves at home, especially before bed or when he's just out of control).  We also allow him to jump on things and roll around when necessary.  He's a great kid--but these "episodes" are becoming scary.  I know once DS2 starts attempting to walk DS1 WILL push him down.  I can play it in my head already.

Do "weighted" vests really work????  Seriously--I'll try anything.

 

 


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Re: LO's with "aggressive" behavior (SPD too)--PLEASE help....

  • mum2jack&littlebmum2jack&littleb

    My 5 yo DS has ADHD - Impulsive and some sensory issues.   Honestly, this sounds like the sorts of behaviours that led to us having him evaulated.   He was being categorized at daycare (at the age of 4) as being out of control with aggressive behaviours.   Now, we know that it was almost entirely impulsivity and reactive.   He was being baited by other children and could not control his impulses to respond physically.   We also now know that he has some SPD type issues, and have found that "heavy work" is AMAZING for providing him sensory input.   One of his quirks was actually stimming behaviour and we did not know until the first neuro apptmt (he receives a hug and simultaneously pushes his chin down hard into your shoulder). 

    Anyway, the behaviours only got under control by us working with a developmental psychologist and by treating the ADHD with medication.   Behaviour modifications alone got us through pre-K, but once he got to kindergarten, was so out of control that he was negatively impacted academically and socially, so we chose to give him meds (after strong resistance and this being our last choice basically for managing).   It has made a REMARKABLE change for our boy. 

    I would definitely recommend you get to your dev neuro and ask for help with behavior management - they should be able to get you to a psychologist who deals with this primarily.   and make sure they have tested / evaluated to see if he might have other issues too.

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  • smiling76smiling76 member
    imagemum2jack&littleb:

    My 5 yo DS has ADHD - Impulsive and some sensory issues.   Honestly, this sounds like the sorts of behaviours that led to us having him evaulated.   He was being categorized at daycare (at the age of 4) as being out of control with aggressive behaviours.   Now, we know that it was almost entirely impulsivity and reactive.   He was being baited by other children and could not control his impulses to respond physically.   We also now know that he has some SPD type issues, and have found that "heavy work" is AMAZING for providing him sensory input.   One of his quirks was actually stimming behaviour and we did not know until the first neuro apptmt (he receives a hug and simultaneously pushes his chin down hard into your shoulder). 

    Anyway, the behaviours only got under control by us working with a developmental psychologist and by treating the ADHD with medication.   Behaviour modifications alone got us through pre-K, but once he got to kindergarten, was so out of control that he was negatively impacted academically and socially, so we chose to give him meds (after strong resistance and this being our last choice basically for managing).   It has made a REMARKABLE change for our boy. 

    I would definitely recommend you get to your dev neuro and ask for help with behavior management - they should be able to get you to a psychologist who deals with this primarily.   and make sure they have tested / evaluated to see if he might have other issues too.

    What exactly is a stimming behavior?  I've heard of it with autism, but not really sure what it is.

    That's interesting about pushing chin in to the hug---- I find that sometimes, not always-- when I hug DS1 he will grab harder or like you said--push his face in to you more.  Hard to explain. 

    He's not really physical because of what others are doing--it just comes out of nowhere.  He'll be playing all nice and then he just wacks ya or squeezes your arm or hand.  At first I said it was because of his severe language delay--that he just had no other way to show his emotions right then (with words)--but now I'm thinking it's something more.

    What meds do they give for this?  Ugh--just the thought.  Is that something he will be on his whole life did they say??

     


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  • smiling76smiling76 member
    image-auntie-:

    Is he over age 3? Are you being served on an IEP or an IFSP via EI?

    If he's over 3, insist that his school district do a functional behavioral assessment to determine the antecendents to his aggression. You need to know when and why he's acting in this way before you can implement a behavioral intervention plan in any setting to extinguish the dysfunctional behavior.

    It's really tempting to go with the whole sensory thing, but if he's getting OT services it could be that what you are seeing is not strictly driven by SPD. Sometimes this sort of behavior is driven by seeing other kids as non-sentient objects, to be manipulated as any toy would be because they don't have feelings. Or it could be he is egging out a really big reaction because his receptive language skills around emotions are seriously delayed/impaired and getting even a negative reaction is better than something subtle he can't read.

    If he's been evaluated by a developmental pediatic team privately, I would encourage you to see a private OT if this behavior doesn't fade. It could be that he needs more intensive treatment for a time. Some kids respond well to the Willbarger protocol, others need a proactive sensory diet before they act out. They need a more concrete plan that just hug him or put him in a weighted vest- these are therapies that should be prescribed and adminstered on a schedule determined by an OT.

    I would urge you to jump on it. Your day care providers are mandatory reporters, if he harms your younger child you could be dealing with CPS. I know a few families who lost custody temporarily of siblings of kids who were out of control. You don't want to go there.

     

     

    The thing is--he doesn't 'hurt' kids to do it on purpose---it's like a reactive response.  It's just bizarre.  I've never seen it in all the kids I've ever dealt with and cared for.

    He is on an IEP with the school district.  He was on one with EI but then got transferred after his evaluation with the school district team---psychologists, OT, PT, SLP, etc.  It was private.  They deemed him severely speech delayed (like at a 12 month level) and some attention issues.  His attention issues have actually gotten better since starting the school program.

    I actually was introduced to the whole sensory thing when we had a 1 on 1 conference with his teacher at the school.  I had no idea he was getting OT (that wasn't in his IEP)--but said that he's craving this sensory "input"..... so no, no official diagnosis but just going after what I know about him and what he's portraying--paired up with what they said.  We're meeting with the OT tomorrow for a group thing--she's teaching all the parents some tools to use during the holidays.  I'm excited!!!! 

    I have found when I give him a big (what I call it)--squeeze--like a tighter hug--I can literally feel his muscles loosen.  It's amazing.  I've also found jumping on a trampoline help him a lot.

     

     


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  • mum2jack&littlebmum2jack&littleb

    Intent is an important clue. If he's doing it because he hasn't yet made the connection that other people have feelings it points to delayed social, emotional and/or cognitive skills.

    This is Jack also - no intent.   The behaviour came out of nowhere (or so it seemed).   He also had attentional issues.   Thus, his diagnosis (at age 4 yrs 2 months) of ADHD-impulsive.   The behaviours had no volitional component but were reactive.

    Jack's sensory seeking behaviours include the tight squeezy hugs.   This provides deep pressure input.   Sometimes it helps calm him down too.  

    I echo Auntie's recommendation to have your kiddo evaluated by a pediatric developmental neurologist.   They are worth every minute of your time.    

     

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  • LilMissLadybugLilMissLadybug member

    I'm sorry you're dealing with this. DS is three and started this at 18mos. He was finally just diagnosed with SPD.

    We do the brushing & joint compressions. I also had a weighted vest from the school but decided to buy one myself. I found a lady on Etsy and had her make a Thomas one. He absolutely loves it. Also, if he likes backpacks I started putting a couple diapers/wipes and toys in a small backpack and he carries that. I think the weight helps him. 

    Will your school be willing to rewrite his IEP plan to include more OT? I've asked my school to rewrite DSs plan to include extra OT. He is also getting preschool two mornings a week. Fridays are a non parent day so his teacher showed me the sensory room in case he gets too wound up in class. 

    DS is also now in play therapy. We go every 2-3 weeks and he really enjoys it.

    ETA: We just saw a Developmental Pediatrician a couple weeks ago, and she is the one who gave the diagnosis. His OT from school started seeing him before he was two and it was first mentioned ASD but we had that ruled out. He has come a very long way since starting services at 21mos. 

    I know it seems like it will never end, but it will get better. Hang in there.

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  • mum2jack&littlebmum2jack&littleb
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    imagemum2jack&littleb:

    Intent is an important clue. If he's doing it because he hasn't yet made the connection that other people have feelings it points to delayed social, emotional and/or cognitive skills.

    This is Jack also - no intent.   The behaviour came out of nowhere (or so it seemed).   He also had attentional issues.   Thus, his diagnosis (at age 4 yrs 2 months) of ADHD-impulsive.   The behaviours had no volitional component but were reactive.

    Jack's sensory seeking behaviours include the tight squeezy hugs.   This provides deep pressure input.   Sometimes it helps calm him down too.  

    I echo Auntie's recommendation to have your kiddo evaluated by a pediatric developmental neurologist.   They are worth every minute of your time.    

     

    Actually, I seldom suggest neurologists for this sort of behavior. Unless a child has seizures, I think a developmental, neurodevelopmental or behavioral pediatrician is the best place to start. Neuros-IMHO- tend to love invasive, expensive and inconvenient tests that bring little to the party.

    I did not mean to start a semantics battle.   We actually went to K-K Institute for Jack, on the recommendation of our pediatrician.  She wanted us to get to a Developmental Pediatrician.  At KKI, this means you end up in the neurology and developmental medicine clinic.  Jack's physician there is a pediatric neurologist.  As a scientist with some pharma experience, to me, this type of training can be very valuable when we have to get into determining the correct pharmaceutical for the patient (my kid). 

    my point to the OP really was this:  Please get a private evaluation.   That's the bottom line.  It might require persistence to get an intake appointment, but it is crucial.  Find someone who can help your kid.   We (parents) cannot just rely on the school system to provide the evals and services - and must be our kids' advocates.

     respectfully,

    becky

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