Upstate NY Babies

Nightmare Mode

Anyone else's kids just get overtired with all the holiday running around and act out?

Nightmare mode is how we describe Justin when he's having "one of those days". Last night he had one, of course at MILs. It was our 3rd Santa-type party in 24 hrs, my kids were exhausted but we couldn't skip GMIL's bday.

MIL ALWAYS compliments me on Justin's behavior. Always. She is constantly telling me SIL's kids "think they run the show", "get no discipline" etc... So you think she'd just butt out when my kid has 1 bad night there.

By dinner he was laying on their recliner almost asleep. Justin was crying at the drop of a hat, the kids were throwing stuff- he threw a toy car at his cousin and of course left a huge mark and she was hysterical. Then he bit his cousin (according to him she kept squishing him- he hasn't bit anyone since he was an infant so i felt awful). Of course I immediately pulled him into a time out in another room- just in time to hear MIL yelling at DH that J is "out of control tonight and you need to do something"... DH explained I was taking care of it... MIL said, "well I'd get in there and paddle his a$$"

Like I wasn't embarrassed enough my 3 yr old bit someone. I was so frustrated, I wanted to cry. J was sobbing. I was 2 seconds from just leaving but it would have crushed GMIL since she hired some guy to play Santa later at the party.

I want the kids to have fun, enjoy their holiday parties but next year I'm giving out waaaaay more "no thank yous".

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Re: Nightmare Mode

  • Totally understand!  We don't have a lot of that here since family isn't here, but when we go home for a week and everyone is trying to squeeze all this stuff in, we see the meltdowns in G.  It's super hard...and after that comment, I would have been ready to leave, too.  It's almost over...
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  • My kids are completely out of sorts with the holidays, Bri bit her best friend at school last week and Ty spend two days at school hiding under a giant pillow in the comfy cozy room just crying like he was sad and depressed.  :-( 

    I know my kids are much more sensitive than most, but yeah, I would limit to one per holiday party per day.  Preferably one per weekend, it is a lot on you AND them, and next year you will have 2 toddlers and a preschooler! 

    As for how to handle it then and there, I stay on top of their every move and try to prevent confrontation and meltdowns when the kids are near their breaking point.  My guess is that J was probably provoked in some way which caused him to bite, on a normal day he probably could have handled it better but was just too spent to deal and got frustrated at what ever his cuz was doing.  Doesn't make it OK, but discipline isn't the answer at this moment.  Rather some extra support to get through the evening, then talk it out the following day when all is calm.  Find out how he felt, what happened and offer tips for the next time he feels that way.

  • imageTinyPinkBug:

    As for how to handle it then and there, I stay on top of their every move and try to prevent confrontation and meltdowns when the kids are near their breaking point.  My guess is that J was probably provoked in some way which caused him to bite, on a normal day he probably could have handled it better but was just too spent to deal and got frustrated at what ever his cuz was doing.  Doesn't make it OK, but discipline isn't the answer at this moment.  Rather some extra support to get through the evening, then talk it out the following day when all is calm.  Find out how he felt, what happened and offer tips for the next time he feels that way.

    You're 100% right. She's a lot bigger and was sitting on him... I mean he should NEVER bite but part of me wants to be like, "well, she should have got off when he asked" lol. There are 4 of them all within a year of each other so when everyone's fighting and someone cries it's like 3 "I didn't do it" responses. Justin left bite marks... so Justin got blame.

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  • That's so hard I'm sorry. We made a holiday schedule so C could nap between places. I think it's hard on the kids but in the parents as well. I hope he slept well for you and he gets some rest this week. 

     

    I would have told my MIL to butt the heck out! 

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  • Yep, the holidays are exhausting on everyone and throw everything off.  We went to a very low key family Christmas yesterday and J wouldn't nap until 4:30 pm and then she passed out on my in the middle of a loud room.  She actually did really well for not having a nap until then but still.

    I'm going to vent on top of your vent...I love how when people see a kid only a couple of times a year, they think they should come right up and be in the kids face.  They don't know you, of course they aren't going to jump in your arms!  Sometimes it's so much work to go anywhere, much easier to stay home. 

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  • Ugh. Our family outing on Friday was so bad that DH asked Santa to bring him a home vasectomy kit. So yes, our kids have picked up on our stress..they aren't sleeping as well (probably because they are eating like crap too) I told MIL that we are going to Florida next year for Christmas. Totally takes the joy out of the holidays when I have to fight 4 million canadiens at the outlet mall to pick up pajamas for someone we see twice a year.
  • I'm sorry your MIL was being so ridiculous. I hope your DH told her off. It always seems that the holidays can bring out the worst in people, no matter how good they think their intentions are. Poor J, and you. I probably would have given her a chomp, too. Hopefully you all can lay low today before everything is amped up again come the weekend.

  • imageMrsWhiteonWhiteSt:
    imageTinyPinkBug:

    As for how to handle it then and there, I stay on top of their every move and try to prevent confrontation and meltdowns when the kids are near their breaking point.  My guess is that J was probably provoked in some way which caused him to bite, on a normal day he probably could have handled it better but was just too spent to deal and got frustrated at what ever his cuz was doing.  Doesn't make it OK, but discipline isn't the answer at this moment.  Rather some extra support to get through the evening, then talk it out the following day when all is calm.  Find out how he felt, what happened and offer tips for the next time he feels that way.

    You're 100% right. She's a lot bigger and was sitting on him... I mean he should NEVER bite but part of me wants to be like, "well, she should have got off when he asked" lol. There are 4 of them all within a year of each other so when everyone's fighting and someone cries it's like 3 "I didn't do it" responses. Justin left bite marks... so Justin got blame.

    You know what, if someone bigger than me was sitting on me and wouldn't get off I might be prone to bite them too. Just sayin Stick out tongue

    Holidays are hard on everyone, kids and adults. But I hope he got to enjoy Santa later on. I'm sorry that things were so rough.

    TTC since 6/2003. m/c 9/14/03 8 weeks, 5 chemical pregnancies, mmc 6/04 12 weeks, Michael born sleeping 5/25/05 at 22weeks always our angel, fought ovarian cancer and won, m/c 4/06 5.2 weeks and 7/07 6.6 weeks,Our Miracle baby girl born 4/8/10,mc 12/18/11 at 5.3 weeks, BFP 10/26/12 dating u/s on 11/8/12 showing a strong heartbeat!EDD July 4,2013. RCS on 6/27. Baby boy in NICU for 8 long and scary days before he was able to come home. We are now a happy family of 4

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  • Ugh. I have been there. Eve has been rotten a lot lately.. and my dad has no patience for her sometimes. He calls her a brat and tells her I need to spank her butt and all that.. I hate it.. it just adds so much more stress for me.. as if it wasn't hard enough dealing with a little monster I feel like I need to constantly worry about her. Making my dad mad. The holidays is definitely the season of overtired over stimulated kiddos. Everyonne needs to cut justin (and you) some slack!
    Melissa & Jeff 5-27-06
    m/c 1/2/08 and 3/12/08
    Eve Amelia- Born 2/24/09. 6lb 9.9oz
    Natalie Ruth - Born 6/13/11 7lb 6.6oz
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  • I totally understand.  That will be us this weekend.  We will have something going on everyday that we are in Michigan, Friday is DH's birthday, Saturday is Christmas with my family, Sunday is Christmas with DH's family, then I believe Monday we head home.  Abby didn't nap well last visit so she was overtired all weekend which meant lots of meltdowns and throwing fits.  Luckily if she does this at my parents house they let us handle it.  At my MIL's house, well she has to put in her two cents and tell me how I am handling it wrong. 

    If I was Justin, I probably would have handled it the same way.   Your MIL needs to cut you and Justin some slack.  Kids get tired and they act out.  They don't know how to express themselves in any other way at that age.

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