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January 2012 Moms
Lhand11
member
Anyone else worried about relationship with DH/SO?
Lhand11
member
Because I apparently need something new to worry about...
I am worried we won't be the same after LO is born. I love my DH to death and I love everything about what we have together now. LO is going to totally change all of that and I am scared we won't be able to keep up with our best qualities and maintain all the good things we have going now. I guess I am saying I am scared LO will come between us. I hate to say that because I wanted nothing more to have this baby and can not wait to be filled with incredible love.
Is it just going to be a different relationship between DH and I? Or have you 2nd timers been able to maintain the same relationship with your DH/SO?
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Re: Anyone else worried about relationship with DH/SO?
It sucks really, especially to have to go through this while being pregnant. Ive already had a hard enough time while being pregnant and then he ends things the day after out baby shower so now that memory has been ruined but it is what it is I guess. We werent married but together over 9 years.
I dont think your fear is irrational especially if he left before but I think its great you guys are working things out. As of right now things look bleek for me and the ex getting back together but I never say never. I hope things continue to work out for you and your husband :-)
I was never worried about this before DS and I probably should have given it more thought I guess. DH is a fabulous father but I really feel like he does best focusing on one love and that used to be me. DS does come between us and it's really hard. We work at it every day and certain periods are better than others. I have committed to making a daily decision to be married to him. It helps me to let little things go and to just get through tough times because I a committed to him. Each day that is tough, I make a decision to stay married to him and then go from there. I pray we can weather this next one better than the big transition from zero kids to one. We have worked on some communication issues and we are fortunate to not have any *major* issues in my book (trust, fidelity, etc) so that's good
GL!!
Honestly, not really. I think it'll change our relationship, but for the better (like nicci said).
I know my DH will be an amazing father (I've known this since we first started dating 7 years ago and he doted over his nieces and then MY niece and nephews), so I look forward to seeing the man he will be become. I think it'll bring us together, if anything, since we created this life together and it's something we've both wanted for awhile. Now instead of just "just us", it'll be "a family of three".
Everything changes. It's work to maintain a marriage and through the years you will get closer, draw apart, and as long as you work on it, you'll get closer again. It's not something that will just happen. But if you and DH work on it your relationship can be the best it ever has!
Right now DH and I are at the best we've ever been and we've been together 8 years. It's not always easy but it's not worth giving up IMO. Of course there are dealbreakers in relationships but having a child gives you the most exciting thing in the world you could ever share with someone. It has the potential to make your relationship amazing. Yes, I think the LO will come between you. Yes, your relationship will change. But these can all be good things if you let them.
Keep in mind WHY you married him. Make time for the two of you. Make sure every conversation doesn't revolve around the baby, chores, finances, etc. Try and have fun together even though it doesn't seem like there's any time for that. Your LO is counting on you to make it work. It's hard, but it's totally doable. And when you do make it work being a family is the happiest thing in the entire world!