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visitation- wwyd?

fairyfey10fairyfey10
in Single Parents
What would you ladies do in this situation? Xh is deliberately not agreeing to what I laid out for Christmas visitation. Won't even address the issue. I have proposed that he get her from 4pm Christmas eve to noon Christmas. I really have a feeling that he is going to get her the 24th and then call the next morning saying he couldn't figure out transportation. His room mate just informed me he can't on Sunday due to family commitments, which I understand but he can't have both.

There is still no formal arrangement, and won't be until after the new year as it stands now. He already informed me via the room mate(due to order of protection) that he would have her all of Christmas eve and day since I am not Christian. WTF. Who does he think he is.

She is having her endoscopy and biopsy done the 23rd for some health issues. Would you call after and say she isn't up for it or something else all together? I may not be religious but my family does celebrate the holiday. I am ready to cut off visitation until after the custody injunction, but I know that will look bad on me. So I really don't know how to contral the situation.

The only advice my lawyers office gave was to just try to get through it. I am also worried about retaliation the next time she goes if I don't send her for part of Christmas.
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Re: visitation- wwyd?

  • blissfullyignorantblissfullyignorant

    Hmmm. That's a tough one. Can you offer him the second half of Christmas day? Just say, "If you'd like to celebrate Christmas you're welcome to pick her up at X". That way he can't keep her from you for the rest of the holiday.

    I'd offer that and honestly if she's not feeling good still I'd tell him to F off. What does your lawyer say?

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  • fairyfey10fairyfey10

    Lawyer has said to just try and keep the peace, but that ultimately I need to decide if it is worth the risk.  So really no help.  We are trying to get into court with an injunction after the new year to at least establish custody and support.

     

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  • katie_cjkatie_cj member

    I would keep in mind that it's going to help your case if you can prove that you have been accommodating and try for them to have a relationship.

    I'm a little concern about all the communication going through the roommate. Is the father trustworthy with your child?

    Considering her medical things on the 23rd and the fact that he's basically said that he won't follow the schedule. I would email him and say that since he hasn't communicated with you about the schedule or told you how he expects to do transportation that you will give him Christmas night to the 26th at noon.

    That way you are sure to get part of Christmas with her.

    (I did notice he said you weren't Christian...do you celebrate Christmas?) If you don't, I would probably just let him have her for the day. 

     

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  • fairyfey10fairyfey10
    As a family (my extended) we do celebrate, I personally am not Christian though.  I have to go through room mate due to order of protection against him.  My xh is not negligent but really has no clue how to handle children of dd's age.  So I often question if he should be seeing her for overnight visitation to begin with.  I am trying to be adaptive to her needs to know her father though
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  • JCGreene85JCGreene85 member
    If the roommate says your EX is threatening to keep the child Christmas Day and not return, then there is no way in he11 I'd even send my child. I would make sure you have documentation stating that is true. I would also send an email to EX saying that you have been more than accommodating and that if your offer isn't good enough, he can just see LO at his next scheduled visit. 
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  • JCGreene85JCGreene85 member
    If the roommate says your EX is threatening to keep the child Christmas Day and not return, then there is no way in he11 I'd even send my child. I would make sure you have documentation stating that is true. I would also send an email to EX saying that you have been more than accommodating and that if your offer isn't good enough, he can just see LO at his next scheduled visit.  OR you can offer to personal drop LO off, and then pick LO up. 
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  • jenny2508jenny2508
    Is there any way that you or a family member would pick her up on Christmas?  That was he cannot use transportation as an issue because you will be the one picking her up?
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  • fairyfey10fairyfey10
    I could ask my mom, but I keep getting this feeling like he isn't going to let me have her back, I feel like he is trying to prove a point to me or something.  The whole situation right now seems off.  I am calling my layer tomorrow to see if there is anything else I can do at this point.  My mommy gut just feels like something is very wrong with the situation
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  • Jennis22Jennis22 member

    imagefairyfey10:
    I could ask my mom, but I keep getting this feeling like he isn't going to let me have her back, I feel like he is trying to prove a point to me or something.  The whole situation right now seems off.  I am calling my layer tomorrow to see if there is anything else I can do at this point.  My mommy gut just feels like something is very wrong with the situation

    Listen to your gut. You don't have a CO to protect you from him keeping her and he doesn't have transportation set up to get her home. It would be a no-go in my book.

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