when to plan #3?

rosesandpeonies · December 2011

My two girls are 18 months apart. I will tell you it was a pretty tough transition for my husband and I because we don't have family that lives close and my daughter had really bad reflux and colic. So it wasn't easy but we love having our two girls and want more.

In January we are going to be buying a new house and then we can start to even think about #3.

So what made you decide the time was right for #3?

I have seen many say that they want them all in the same time frame to get out of the baby stage, etc.

My mom had four and we are decades apart. There were some good things about that too.

So after having 2 under 2 what are your thoughts on having baby #3 ?

marielovestimothy03 · December 2011

My first two are 16.5 months apart and I loved having them close in age. We were actually planning on waiting til #2 was around 2 or 2.5 and then doing 2u2 again but we had a BC fail and we're expecting #3 next June so #2 and #3 will be 19.5 months apart. Its closer than our original plan but I'm happy it is working out this way. I do like that we're getting everything out of the way (though the idea of changing diapers for another 3 years straight...or more if we have a 4th...isn't my favorite) but they'll all be close in school and stuff.

caymanbride · December 2011

My boys are exactly 2 years apart, and we love that spacing, so we decided to shoot for the same with DS2 and # 3, and they will be exactly 2 years apart as well. We haven't really decided on any more either way at this point.

Raffes484 · December 2011

DD and DS1 are 19.5 months apart and I liked that spacing so we went for that again, so DS1 and DS2 are 18 months apart.

For me, going from 1-2 was SO much harder than it has been going from 2-3. Part of that is that DS2 sleeps better than DS1 did. It has been great and I almost feel silly (although my fears were ligitimate) for panicking shortly before DS2 was born.

I have family nearby, but they all work and have their own families or things going on, so while they're willing to help every once in a while, it really is few and far between when we've called on them to help.

moonfaerie · December 2011

My first two are 14 months apart. After #2, we decided to see how it went to see if were wanted more kids or if we were two and through. We decided we wanted to have at least one more, but wanted a slightly bigger gap. My second and third will be about 18 months apart, if all goes well. I'm very happy with that.

kcisthebombdotcom · December 2011

We (tentatively) decided to space #3 around 2-2.5 years after #2. I'm not 100% sold on another child, but if we started moving significantly past that 2.5 year mark, I'd be done with having kids because I'm not a fan of larger spacing.

My reasoning was that a 3-3.5 spacing between the youngest and oldest would mean they'd be close enough to be able to play together well, but I wouldnt have 3 very small needy children all at once. At 3 and 2, the older 2 can play and entertain each other. Plus they're more independent at that age. 2 in diapers at once is my limit. haha

12bailey18 · December 2011

We would like a third and right now we plan to try when DD turns 1. DS and DD are almost 19 months apart and I love them being close in age. I would rather wait a full year to get pregnant instead of just 10 months like I did last time. Also, if we wait until DD turns a year it will space out there birthdays a little better. DH is military so it also depends where we'll be at that time but right now we're shooting for when she turns 1.

laura1 · December 2011

We started trying for #3 when DD turned 1. When we got our BFP #2 and #3 would have been just over 2 years apart. Then I had a m/c, so now we are trying again. If we make it to this summer without another BFP, we are giving up. I am getting older (35 now), want them closer in age, and just want to be done with this TTC stage in my life (it took 18 months of TTC to get DS). I will be ok with my happy family of 4 at that point.

BrittKav · December 2011

I think/stress about this every. single. day.

My girls are 14 months apart and I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. I think it's the perfect age gap. I know I want 4 kids, so I assumed we'd wait a few years and do 2 close together again. But...now I'm getting baby fever, and I think it'd be really nice for all of our kids to be close in age rather than have a big gap between #2 and #3. I think we could have a 3rd soon, but then I'd want the 4th to be close in age too...and I don't know if we're ready for 4 kids in the next couple years. I don't know what to do.

LJR 84 · December 2011

Mine are 12 months apart and the plan is to start ttc once ds is around 18 months...maybe a few months sooner. I'd like 2 & 3 to be about 2 years apart.

HRTB16 · December 2011

Raffes484:

DD and DS1 are 19.5 months apart and I liked that spacing so we went for that again, so DS1 and DS2 are 18 months apart.

For me, going from 1-2 was SO much harder than it has been going from 2-3. Part of that is that DS2 sleeps better than DS1 did. It has been great and I almost feel silly (although my fears were ligitimate) for panicking shortly before DS2 was born.

I have family nearby, but they all work and have their own families or things going on, so while they're willing to help every once in a while, it really is few and far between when we've called on them to help.

DS and DD are 22 months apart, and *surprise* we did it again- exactly! Going from 1-2 really felt like nothing to me, so I feel like 2-3 will be a slap in the face. When do you get your sleep in the begining?!

CaitlinJ22 · December 2011

Our first are 18 months apart and loved it..for 2 kids. For 3 kids I didnt want all 18 month spacing. I couldnt handle it with my DH away for 3 wks at a time for work. I also BF for a year at least and with DS I had to nurse him while pregnant with DD and it was SO hard being sick and getting enough calories. DD is 18 months now and I am SO glad we dont have a newborn now

This time I decided to wait til she was about 15 months so they would be 2 years or more apart. I stopped nursing her at 14 months and got pg the next month. I have the same due date with my DD as this baby.

I am happy with the spacing and I have always wanted 4 or more kids, but I can tell you now that I think I am done being pg after this LO. The sickness, hormones and exhaustion while taking care of 2 toddlers while DH is gone is HARD. No family around to help, and I felt alone a lot. Now when DH is home for his 3 wks off its great, but the all day sickness bites. I am better now, but the exhaustion is rough and hormones making me nuts. I think if we want #4 we may adopt, like we've always wanted to.

Part of me wishes we had waited until DD was 2 or so and DS was in school and she was appproaching school to have another and then do it again for the 4th. I now understand why people wait until at least one child is in school.

AmyKbride · December 2011

Hi there, I haven't posted here in over a year but now that my youngest is 13 months I am thinking about TTC again. My two girls are about 21 months apart (I got pg with my youngest DD when my older DD was 13 months) and I specifically remember saying that I would never do it again so close. It was hard to have a newborn and a toddler, the first 8 months or so were a blur. BUT, that being said, now that they are almost 3 and 13 months I love it, they are so fun! My oldest DD is so helpful and loves her sister and because she was still young when the baby was born she does not remember a time when it was just her.

My DH and I are undecided about having another...there are a lot of things to consider, for one thing we do not have a vehicle that we would be able to put 3 kids in so we would have to get at least one new car but probably two. Also, for us, my DH is home with the girls during the morning and early afternoon while I work and then he goes to work when I get home so we are alone a lot and I'm not sure either one of us could handle 3 kids alone. Because my almost 3 year old is a January birthday she won't go to kindergarten until she's 5 and a half so that means 3 kids home all day for another couple of years.

When my oldest was about 8 or 9 months old my DH and I talked about having another baby, it seemed like a no brainer to us but now I'm not so sure. I'll just say that I haven't started selling our baby stuff. But sometimes I think about the sleeping arrangements, would they all have their own rooms or would someone share (we have 4 bedrooms but use one as a guest room now). It would be just our luck to get pg with twins (twin girls at that, LOL)

GL to anyone who is considering all of this.

PhilsWife07 · December 2011

My boys are almost exactly two years apart. I'm torn between trying to have a third who would be born a couple of months after DS2 turns two, or waiting to summer to TTC so DS2 would be closer to three when DC3 is born... not much time left to make a decision though. I like the spacing between my boys because DS1 had virtually no jealousy issues when DS2 was born and they're close enough in age that they play really well together. It was and is hard on us though. I'm hesitant to wait because I don't want too large of a gap between DS1 and DC3 and we may or may not have a fourth and I wouldn't want the first and the last baby to have a really significant age gap... it's a tough decision to make! Good luck!

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