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mcatmay
member
The baby whisperer = anti breastfeeding?
mcatmay
member
Holy Cow, i never realized how 'anti-breastfeeding' Tracy Hogg (aka "the Baby Whisperer"). She has great common-sense advice but her whole chapter on 'eating' made me so hot under the collar, trivializing breastfeeding and its 'benefits' and touting formula over breastmilk. I am not AT ALL against formula feeding and i don't want to start a breastfeeding/formula feeding debate but i HATE that she just reduced all my efforts down to it being 'a fad'.
A couple choice quotes:
"Today, breastfeeding is all the rage. That doesn't mean formula is 'bad'. In the postwar decades, in fact, the majority believed that formula was best for babies and only athird of all mother nursed their babies."
The rest of the chapter essentially says that the benefits of breastfeeding are overblown, that you'll need to hang on to an extra five-10 lbs to breastfeed, that your breast will become flabby, that studies don't prove that there are benefits to the mother's health, that dad'll feel left out and that it might be contra-indicated for mom or baby under certain health conditions. ARGH!
She says, "while I agree that human milk is undoubtedly good for babies, we musn't go overboard. The often-quoted research findings represent statistical probabilities; breastfed babies sometimes contract those disease too.... formula today is more refined and chock-full of nutrient than ever".
I could go on but i'm getting pissed off again ;-)
This discussion has been closed.
Re: The baby whisperer = anti breastfeeding?
I read the book, or maybe I skimmed it b/c I don't remember those passages, which would have POed me too! Or maybe it's b/c I was reading it w/ a newborn in the house and can't remember much from that sleep-deprived/exhausting stage.
I wonder if it's a British thing...not sure but it is a very strange stand to take. I read her book b/c my friend (who eBFed) loved the author but after I found other books, I realized hers wasn't that great. BABY 411 doesn't think much of her either.
I know a lot of other "sleep experts" are not big proponents of the Dream Feed (which I did try and which did NOT work for either of my babies), as you are forcing the baby to eat when (s)he is not hungry, which could lead to bad eating habits later on in life. Baby should eat when baby is hungry.
[zips up flame retardant suit]
I totally get where she's coming from. While there are studies that indicate BF'ing is better in some ways, I think that a lot people have totally overblown the benefits, and the length of time that BF'ing is superior to FF'ing. Especially here in the U.S., where we have access to clean water and other 1st world amenities.
I certainly am not "anti" BF'ing, and if you do it for a year more power to you! But, I see no reason that FF'ing should be as villified as it is.
I think there are even some benefits to FF'ing over BF'ing. The baby gets good nutrition (without regard to what the Mom is eating), and the Dad is more participatory in the baby's care (which can totally take a lot of stress off a new mom, and could probably even prevent some PPD).
Ditto everything chia says.
And, I exclusively pumped for a long long time and there are times that I look back and wonder how i did it and if it really made that much of a difference. My kid is healthy and I am are benefited but my best friend who could not bf has two perfectly healthy well adjusted kids too.
I don't know if the Baby Whisperer is necessarily anti-BF. She's probably trying to say that any method of feeding your baby is fine, as long as baby is happy and healthy. There are SO many people/experts/doctors out there who say "breast is best" and make moms who can't or don't BF feel like sh!t or like they've failed somehow. That's BS. So I think it's great when a parenting expert or doctor says there's nothing wrong with formula.
On the other hand, if you've gone through the pain and effort of EBFing (which is HARD at the beginning, and also a PITA if you're pumping), and someone tells you that all of that effort was for naught and your kid would've been just as fine with formula, you want to punch them in the face. LOL.
I TOTALLY agree that women that FF are made to feel crappy about their choices and it just should.not.happen. Period. We're all great, concerned parents who read a lot and have come to certain conclusions about what works for us.I REFUSE to judge other women after finding out how hard being a parent is and i will defend anyone's choices.
But, Wines, you hit the nail on the head when essentially i feel like i've been told that everything i'm doing is really not that big a deal and i should give up already.
This.
I would have taken the passage the same way as you op. I get so tired of the "debate", there is no question that breast is best. For those who argue that some BF kids get sick and/or have allergies while other FF kids don't are just silly. There are always exceptions and if you truly take the time to research the topic, you will find that the benefits (IQ, disease prevention, etc.) of BF are mostly seen once those kids are adults, not as kids. I don't judge other parents choice in how they feed their kids, I love that we have choice, but I roll my eyes every time this topic comes up and people feel the need to defend FF. It is what it is. It's a choice, the babies will more than likely grow up to be healthy adults, but it's not equal to breastmilk and never will be. I don't feel the need to walk on eggshells in fear that someone's feelings might be hurt. Can't we just accept it and move on?
TTC #1 Cycle 14 - IUI#1=BFN, IUI#2=BFP | TTC #2 Cycle 8=BFP!!
I don't think any author can really "win" if they discuss BFing, because someone is going to end up pissed off. Either the EBF mommas, who want reassurance that their hard work trying to establish a good BFing situation is worth it, the FF mommas who don't want to be told that they're ruining their child for providing formula, or the moderates who get annoyed with the extreme positions. I think Hogg was actually pretty moderate, a little more pro FF than a lot of the EBFers seem to be, but not really saying don't bother to BF.
I read one of her books and agree that her BF advice is not the best really.
I think what bugged me the most was that she didn't know what she was talking about. She talked about "a yield" saying that pumping instead of feeding a baby was a good way of checking on your supply. This is really bad advice. A weighed feeding is really the best and most accurate way of checking how much your baby is getting.
I was FF and turned out fine...
But I have to say BF has been one of the most wonderful experiences over the last year and a half. I'm sure DS would just been fine had he been FF. I wish though that our society was more supportive of BF moms in general and provided appropriate resources for helping those moms that want to BF. I think it would really make the difference in helping them to continue it as long as they wish to.
Off to the beach
DS 7/18/2010
Handy 2.0 Due Early August
2011/2012 Races
12/17/2011 Christmas Caper 10K
2/11/2012 Have a Heart 5K
3/17/2012 DC RNR Half Marathon
4/22/2012 10M Parkway Classic
10/28/2012 Marine Corps Marathon
This is pretty much how I feel as well.
I guess I don't think that BM is the end all be all and my DD got it exclusively for 5 months and 90% for the next 4 (but I don't think this somehow makes me better). I am in the camp that I think there are lots of things that make kids healthy and happy and I don't think BM trumps all those other things.
And, in general, I think all mom's get sh!t for some decision they make- BM vs formula, CIO vs co-sleeping, SAHM vs WM, organic waffles vs eggos, potting training, preschool, nannies, the list could go on and on. A lot of times I feel like I can't win no matter what I do so I am just trying to do the best I can for my family.
I read that book and must have skipped that part or didn't pay attention to it. I don't know - is anything in any book 100% correct/accurate/deeply researched? I guess like anything else you just take the good parts out of books like that and dismiss the bad. I think there is some great advice in that book regarding other things.
I EP'd all three of my kids (and did a dream feed for all three - which the pedi OK'd - I never heard that will give them eating problems later in life - thanks for putting that in my head Sofka!
) so I obviously thought breastmilk was best. All three also ended up on formula eventually. So I have neither EBF nor a EFF kids - they're all combo. Draw conclusions about that medical science field!
This is why I don't read very many parenting books. I always feel like some expert is telling me that I'm doing something wrong. As an engineer, I really hate parenting books that ediotorialize. Just give me the freaking science and let me make my own decision. I don't need the judgement.
I absolutely believe that BM is best for the baby - as in the best nutrition/food source. BUT to BF might not be the best decision for the mom (or the family as a whole). I BF my kids for a long time (12+ months) - the oldest had reflux, dairy/soy sensitivities, chronic ear infections and every manner of childhood cold/bronchillitis, has had tubes twice and her adenoids removed. DD2 has never had a cold, but has had strep, HFMD and RSV. Every kid is different and while my BM antibodies seem to have protected DD2, they didn't seem to have done so for DD1 (or maybe things would have been worse, who knows). In the beginning of BFing I struggled mightly with both kids. At some point I almost quit with both. I can absolutely see how moms decide BFing isn't for them - whether it's because of low supply, pain, too much responsibility, etc. What parenting professionals (and parents in general) need to do is stop judging and just offer facts and resources. No parent is ever perfect and there are a million other things that we are going to screw up over our kids lifetime. We owe it to each other to cut each other some slack and just move on. I won't tell you that you're a bad mom for not BFing (because you're not) and you don't tell me I will damage my child for BFing past a year (because I won't)
I read the whole book and didn't come away with that understanding at all. Every other book goes on & on about how great BFing and all the benefits your baby misses out on if you don't; I think she's just trying to say that if you end up using formula, you aren't a parental failure. If I remember correctly, she says that even if you're going to primarily be using formula, at least some BF is better than none. So she does gently encourage everyone to give it a try but she's just not adding to the already over-beaten message that breast is best. I plan to exclusively breastfeed while on maternity leave and pump when I go back to work so that baby's nutrition can be all breastmilk for the first 6 months, and mostly BM until the 1st birthday and I actually found her chapter on milk storage very helpful! I didn't feel at all discouraged. Like her advice on so many other topics, I found it practical; the other BFing materials I read often aren't very supportive of working mothers with short ML, whereas her book had very practical advice, encouraging women like me who want to nourish our babies with BM but will not be physically present 24 hrs/day.
When it comes to other books over stating things, I'm sure the benefits are numerous and we are not yet fully aware of all of them. I believe, mostly from a spiritual perspective, that this is the best & proper way to feed & nurture a baby, so when it's possible, it should be given priority. At the same time, as an economist/researcher, I can't help but notice all the "studies" are not actual experiments and there are several confounding variables that could explain the difference in baby's outcomes. I see volumes of evidence for correlation and very little for causation. That doesn't mean our efforts are fruitless - just the fruits are difficult to measure, but that shouldn't discourage anyone.