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Toddler abuse...

Mrs.HandyMrs.Handy member
in D.C. Area Babies

So DS this morning was having fun sucking on the buttons of his collar. Worried that he might pull one off and choke on it so I buttoned it. Once he discovered his fun activity wasn't so fun anymore, he got rather irritated. He walked over and wanted to get picked up. I picked him up and put him on lap. He got more irritated and the next thing I know he headbutts me very hard in the bridge of my nose. It hurt like motherf*cker. I start crying instinctively, he starts crying (I'm not sure if this is because of my reaction or because it hurt him too). Eventually DH comes over and separates us since I needed a moment.

My nose is still sore. It was hard not to be irrationally p!ssed at DS. I know he's just a toddler, but the damn that hurt.

How do you handle it when your LO really hurts you? whether on purpose or by accident...

This certainly wasn't the first and won't be the last time he hurts me, so I need to work on my reaction. 

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Off to the beach

DS 7/18/2010
Handy 2.0 Due Early August

2011/2012 Races
12/17/2011 Christmas Caper 10K
2/11/2012 Have a Heart 5K
3/17/2012 DC RNR Half Marathon
4/22/2012 10M Parkway Classic
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Re: Toddler abuse...

  • smacbsmacb
    DS gave me a black eye about a year ago.  He threw a toy and it caught me in just the right place.  I gave him a time out for throwing as I would any other time he threw something and a speech about "You hurt mommy, this is why you shouldn't throw toys."  He didn't mean to hurt me.
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  • DCtoLowcountryDCtoLowcountry

    There have been a few incidents this fall where I was sure DS broke my nose (mostly from him sitting in my lap and then rearing back, cracking his skull into my nose) so damn, I know that much it hurts.

    Honestly, I give myself a time out because the reaction I get when I'm hurt is not rational. I need time to cool off too. If DH is there I hand him over; if it's just me and DS is in a safe environment, I walk away.

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  • MrsNJSwimmerMrsNJSwimmer member

    Generally I scream OUCH or OW, which is just my normal reaction to pain if it really hurts.  He will only cry if he is also hurt.  But a lot of the time it's purposeful on his part - I'll go take him out of an activity to go up and change his diaper, he gets pissed at me, and will bite my shoulder or headbutt me and I'll put him in time out before we change the diaper. 

    If it's accidental, then I still yell in pain, but I tell him he has to be careful b/c that hurts Mommy (or Daddy), and to say sorry to us (we do the sorry thing after timeout too) and give hugs.

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  • tomandcourttomandcourt
    imageDCtoLowcountry:

    Honestly, I give myself a time out because the reaction I get when I'm hurt is not rational. I need time to cool off too. If DH is there I hand him over; if it's just me and DS is in a safe environment, I walk away.

    This is what I do, too. Sometimes I just can't be around J for a little while because I'm too pissed/in pain and need a breather. DH takes over and we all calm down. 

    Ugh, that sucks. Hope your nose is better soon (ice?).

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  • QueSrahQueSrah member
    The only time DD has accidentally hurt me really abdly, I started crying in pain, DH came over to try to take DD away from me and we focused on the "that hurt mommy, you need to be gentle and not [do whatever she was doing]."  I can't even remember whether there was a time out, but I hope there was.  Be gentle usually works with her - she's not super physical to begin with, and usually able to express enough of her frustration in words that we can talk rather than hit.  I can't even imagine how I'd deal with a kid who tests physical limits for real.
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  • WinesNotWhinesWinesNotWhines
    Ugh, that really sucks - M has also (accidentally) headbutted me on the nose or head a few times, and it hurts!  Regardless of whether it's an accident or not, I say "Ouch! You hurt mama!" and I'll try to explain that he has to be careful and not hurt people.

    If he does it on purpose (he has hit me with a toy before), I take the toy away and say "no hitting!" I may also get up and walk to the other side of the room or otherwise ignore him, which gets his attention more than anything else. To be honset, I don't think it's sinking in yet.
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  • BirdGirl01BirdGirl01

    I don't think they understand cause and effect at this stage, so it's easy not to be mad when you think about it that way.  He's just trying to get his point across and doesn't have the words yet to say it. 

    DD hasn't done anything like that but when she's mad she flails her arms.  She's really not doing anything other than saying "I'm mad" in the only way that she knows how.

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  • Mrs.HandyMrs.Handy member

    Thanks for the advice! 

    I don't think DS quite understands cause and effect. I like the "me time out" plan.

    We'll definitely be using time outs but at this point, I don't think he's ready. 

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    Off to the beach

    DS 7/18/2010
    Handy 2.0 Due Early August

    2011/2012 Races
    12/17/2011 Christmas Caper 10K
    2/11/2012 Have a Heart 5K
    3/17/2012 DC RNR Half Marathon
    4/22/2012 10M Parkway Classic
    10/28/2012 Marine Corps Marathon
    Report Reply
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