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Babies: 6 - 9 Months
Oh no she didn't! Vent...long!
Please tell me how you would handle this situation....
So tonight my MIL came over with a friend of hers so she could give the baby a gift she bought her for Christmas. As they were getting ready to leave I asked her friend if her mother's address was still the same bc I am sending out our Christmas cards this weekend and her mom was very sick last time we saw her, and living with her. She said yes, she's doing better and back home. GREAT!
and here is the dialogue for what happened next...
MIL: "I sent out my Christmas cards last night"
Me: "Great, can't wait to get it!"
MIL: "I put G's picture on it from the link you sent me from her professional portraits."
Me: (lump in my throat): "You did?"
MIL: "Yes, and I put it from the N family, and all of our names are on it. I didn't know if you were sending your own out or not. Oh wait I have one with me!" (As she pulls out an envelope)
Me: " I bought our own, and they should be here tomorrow for me to mail out to everyone."
MIL: "Well I'm sure you didn't pick the same picture I did"
Me: (As she shows me the card, of not only the picture that I chose to get as presents for everyone in our immediate families, but yes one that is on our card.) "I picked 5 bc I couldn't decide."
MIL: "Well I mailed them out to my family and friends"
At this point, I'm pretty sure my expression was right on my face bc my shower list, which is the same list we used for G's Christening and now our Christmas Card's consisted of 1/3 of her family and friends.
Me: "Well they are all pretty much on our list and will be getting a card from us"
At this point I walked away bc if I didn't I was pretty sure I would flip the F out and I had G in my arms, so I couldn't do that. DH was not in the room, so he heard none of it. We have had our issues in the past with her over stepping boundaries, but I feel this takes the cake by far. I only shared her portraits with our parents to let them see them and let both sets know that we ordered a lot for gifts so there was no need to order any.
Not only did she get snippy tonight when DH showed her a few of her "gifts" tonight, bc as she said "I spent over $100 on her Christmas portraits, I ordered them this weekend" but she got so angry and wouldn't look at G's hanging stocking that we picked out and had personalized bc she bought her a first Christmas pink one.
As soon as she left and the door closed, I went and told DH what happened. I was so upset. He was shocked and said he would call her in the morning. Not that this will change anything but the fact that he is going to is a step in some kinda direction right?
I just feel that she should have asked if we were sending our own and this would have been avoided.
Sorry for the long vent...I'm just so furious right now that since G is asleep and so is DH, I want to call and chew her rear end out!!!!!!!!!!
UGH!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Oh no she didn't! Vent...long!
wow! how dare she!!!
is it "legal" for her to use a professional's photo without consent?
ya that's a little much - you'd think she'd ask you or talk to you about it before she sent out a xmas card with your daughter on it!
I also have a MIL that constantly oversteps boundaries. For this reason, I'm always trying to avoid these situations with whatever I can do myself. We took pictures and will "surprise" her with a portrait.
Personally, I think you made a big mistake even mentioning the professional pictures to MIL, let alone sending her the link.
In the future, you may want to choose the info you share with MIL more wisely, keeping in mind her lack of boundaries. Live and learn, as they say....
Yes, I have! Thank you! I should have not shared it at all, and I definitely won't in the future.
This. And tell her to keep the pink stocking at her house. She should really ask before she shells out money on things that you may want to get for your own daughter, or else don't complain. To not even look at the one you bought is just childish.
It sounds like even if he talks to her she isn't going to change, but good for him for trying. Just set your limits, don't give her more info than she needs about anything, and if she goes out and gets stuff that you don't need, just say "thanks, but no thanks" and leave it at that. She sounds like she would pout. Let her pout.
And if anyone asks about the card, though I doubt they will (and at least your card is different and has more photos on it) you can just explain that you showed the pics to your MIL, and she went and ordered her own. Not much else you can do.
Wow. I mean, wow. Seriously? I would be LIVID! In fact, just reading this story makes me angry.
And yes, it's totally against the rules to use a professional's pictures without permission. Have her arrested (JK...mostly
)
I would be so upset.
This is the reason why I haven't shared DD's 6 month pictures with extended family because someone would probably do some crazy shits like this. I learned my lesson early when StepMIL posted pics on Facebook of DD the night she was born before we did.
I don't share with in-laws until I'm ready for the world to see/hear about it.
This would bother me too. If she wanted to use a picture of your LO, she needed to ask your permission first. You don't just put a picture of someone's child on a card that will be sent out to tons of people without asking the parents. It would bother me that she may be sending pictures of my child to people that I might not even know and that she used your professional pictures without consulting with you.It would really irritate me especially since you ended up with the exact same pictures on the cards. She should have shown you first, well, after asking first!
Her behavior about the gifts and stockings is just ridiculous too. She seems to have no issue overstepping her boundaries. That would not sit well with me. I'm so sorry you MIL is like this, but I'm glad your H is willing to talk to her about it. Hopefully something sinks through her hard skull and things get better. Good luck!
OMG, what a CREEPER!
I em'd my MIL a pic of Lucy eating "food" for the first time and she turned around and posted it on her FB: "Lucy's first taste of sweet potatoes!" and made it look like SHE took the pic and SHE fed them to her...THAT annoyed me but after reading this - that was nothing!
Regardless of the fact that they were professional pics and copyright laws and all that...they were YOUR pics of YOUR baby that YOU had taken...how freaking creepy of her to use one of them as HER card...like it's her baby...ick. Sooo glad to hear your hubby's with you, though...