Community› The Bump Message Boards› Late Term and Child Loss
Late Term and Child Loss
New Discussion

Flood of emotions...

sunshyne310sunshyne310
in Late Term and Child Loss
Our sweet little boy was born on January 1st 2011 and 6 short months later he passed away from SIDS on July 16th.  I was "dealing" with our loss as well as I knew how, but now with Christmas and his 1st birthday approaching I find myself falling deeper and deeper into sadness.  On a happier note, we recently found out we are 10 weeks pregnant and couldn't be more thrilled.  Now, although this is happy news for us, we have been dealing with the negativity from those around us that it is "too soon."  So our happy moments have been dampened with others' judgmental negativity.  Has anyone dealt with a similar situation, or known anyone who has.  I just feel so alone and sometimes I am not sure how to feel.  
~Stephanie~ Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Lilypie Maternity tickers
Report Reply to Post

Re: Flood of emotions...

  • hewinkedhewinked
    I'm so sorry for your loss.  My son passed away at 2 months old on 1-11-11.  This is a hard time of year for us also.  I am also pregnant again, and I was scared to tell anyone for those exact reasons.  Generally, people have been supportive (at least to my face).  In fact, it's kinda been the opposite of you where everyone is so super thrilled and expect me to be the same.  People seem to forget about our loss and question why I'm so scared and not over the moon excited.  Anyway, our situations aren't the same, but I think all of us here can relate to others not getting us at any point in our grief.  Again, so sorry for your loss and congrats on the new baby.  :)
    imageimageimage
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • krysiahamatykrysiahamaty

    I  am so sorry for your loss. I not pregnant but if I get pregnant again I would be afraid of that too. However, I know it's easier said than done but I would try not to focus on other's judgements and focus on the future ahead. And keep your little boy's memory alive.

    Big hugs. 

    TTC since November 2009. DH diagnosed with sperm antibodies. IUI #1 = BFN IUI #2 = BFN On the road to IVF.... Egg Retrieval Jan 21, 2011 16 eggs retrieved Egg transfer Jan 26, 2011 Only 2 viable eggs transferred. 1 IVF, 1 ICSI IVF #1 = BFP :-) 10/3/11 No heart beat at 38 weeks: Our baby Jack became an angel 12/14/11 = natural BFP Rainbow baby Samantha Jacklyn born8/8/12. Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Report Reply
  • weddedwifeweddedwife member
    imageKrysiaHamaty:

    I  am so sorry for your loss. I not pregnant but if I get pregnant again I would be afraid of that too. However, I know it's easier said than done but I would try not to focus on other's judgements and focus on the future ahead. And keep your little boy's memory alive.

    Big hugs. 

    This too. I would try to avoid those people who have said it's "too soon". You don't have to live by their timetable.

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • drvst8drvst8 member
    First off I'm so sorry for your loss. Second who cares what anyone else thinks. Only you and your DH can decide what is right for you. There is always going to be those people out there that don't understand. They have never walked in your shoes so how can they judge. We lost our son at 40wks and 2 days...and We are currently trying to concieve again. Its only been less than 3 months since out loss. I just keep telling myself not to worry about other people. I wish you the best of luck with this new pregnancy and welcome to the board. Everyone here is very supportive.
    Logan Gregory born sleeping 9/29/2011 @ 40wks 2days Forever in our hearts Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Congrats to Heatherhah! Baby girl has finally arrived!Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Congrats to my Labor Buddy SouthernBellaKS
    Report Reply
  • Petunia844Petunia844 member
    I am so sorry for your loss and I completely understand the mixed emotions.  I am not even pregnant again yet, but I know when I am I will be so mixed.  I will want to be excited, but I will be terrified and I will be sad as the new baby reminds me of my pregnancy with Peyton.  It is so unfair that all of our future pregnancies will never be like our last one.  Just know that even if you can't find people IRL who understand, you can always come to this board and find women who do.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 

    CafeMom Tickers

    Married the love of my life 7/11/09 - Our first baby, Peyton Mark, was born sleeping 10/25/11 at 33 weeks - Our second baby, BFP 2/4/12, welcome to the world Raylan! Holy Moly, BPF 2/4/14, please be safe and sound little one!

    My Blog

    Report Reply
  • AmyG2bAmyG2b member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm not pregnant again, but want to be, and don't care what anyone else thinks. You are the only one who knows what's best for you. I'm sure there are so many mixed emotions floating around right now, but the girls on this board will listen to you, and most likely have felt everything you're feeling too. 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • magdalina.hmagdalina.h member

    I'm so sorry for your loss.

    I got pregnant 4 months after our loss. No one ever said anything to me about it being too soon, but that doesn't mean they didn't think it. Are these people close enough that you would feel comfortable telling them how much it hurts when they make those comments?

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Third Birthday tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers
    Photobucket
    Report Reply
  • CaroleeCarolee member
    I'm so sorry for your loss.  Welcome to the board.
    Mom to Eliott Alexander, born sleeping at 37 weeks on 8/13/10. Most of us only dream of angels - I held one in my arms.
    BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
    BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
    Too beautiful for this earth
    BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
    Report Reply
  • sunshyne310sunshyne310
    Thank you ladies for your kind words and support.  It is so nice to know that I am not the only one going through this and these feelings.  It's reassuring to know that there are other women out there who (unfortunately) know how I am feeling and have gone through similar situations.  
    ~Stephanie~ Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Lilypie Maternity tickers
    Report Reply
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"