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Austin Babies
well, that is not what I expected.
So, DH just got the final say (with numbers) that we are going, we leave February 1st. I called my parents to let them know since it is pretty definite now. I spoke to my dad first his response was "hear talk to mom." My mom came on the phone and I told her. Her response was "Oh, is it only for 6 months?" and I told her yes, for now anyway. The she said "Ok, well we have to go, we're on the way to your brother's game."
That's it! So, now my excitement over the whole thing is down the toilet and I just want to cry! 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: well, that is not what I expected.
*big hugs* We are all super excited for you!
Maybe they are just stunned?
I agree! Sorry that your parents' response was less than enthusiastic.
This is a totally psychologically charged question but why are you allowing your parents response to hurt you? Going to Australia is a wonderful thing! An opportunity for YOU and YOUR family. You shouldn't expect or need for anyone else to be over the moon for you.
I give to you #2 of The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz.
2. Don?t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won?t be the victim of needless suffering.
Don't let them have that kind of power over you. Enjoy these moments!!! Let the hurt go.
Thanks ladies!
Update: my dad called back and we spoke for a pretty long time. I know my mom's reaction is/was because she is shocked and sad, but I was still hoping we could talk things out. Hopefully she will come around soon! My dad made me feel much better though, love him!
I do understand the spirit in what you posted, and I appreciate that. But, really? Because they are my parents, who I love and are very close to. So, yes I'm hurt by their opinions and actions. I think that is pretty normal.
Really?
::eyeroll::
A&Jmom - I'm super excited for you. What an exciting time and an amazing opportunity!!! EEEEEKKKKK!!!
This is exactly what I was thinking. I'm wishing DH worked for someone that could send us to Australia. I've been there and it's amazing! You will love it! I will live vicariously through you.
Totally.
Seriously, Taytee, you don't understand why someone would feel hurt that her parents aren't excited for an AMAZING opportunity for her? It seems like someone who was completely detached from how the meaningful people in their life react to their big news is a lot more emotionally screwed up than someone who is hurt by it.
Aww, I'm really sorry they had a crappy reaction. I can totally relate as my mom's reaction to the fact that I'm having twins has been appalling at times. When you're close to your parents and expect them to react differently, it is really disappointing and hurtful.
What an AMAZING opportunity though!! That's so exciting for y'all and I'm sure your parents will come around. Maybe when they start thinking of coming for a visit, they'll get more excited.
That makes sense. I was going to say I bet she was just totally shocked and that's why her reaction seemed off. Hopefully once she lets the idea stew a little bit she'll be better able to talk
Just playing Devil's Advocate here but you can't let people upset you like that. Taytee is right. Nobody was excited for us 4 years ago when we announced we were moving to Texas. And that's a helluva lot closer than Australia! I still get guilt trips from my family for leaving them. I don't think I'm an emotionally screwed up person because I don't let them upset me.
No, I hadn't told them anything at all yet, so that wasn't why. She acted that way because she was upset and did not want to talk about it. I was not really surprised but yeah it still upset me.
Two things:
A&J - congratulations! I know "the" company (I work for them too) will come through. The six months will be a damn good thing for you guys. This way, you can decide for yourselves as a family if the expat life will work for you. My last boss just moved to Japan on an expat, s o I know it's still possible!
On the rest:
Seriously? I agree with Ali. I get where y'all are coming from, basing our worth on family opinions (unless, of course, it's the ILs). Really, though, if you take a leap, it's hard to find support outside of the people you confide in on a daily basis.
Also, f you've actually paid attention to Taytee in the last... oh, four years or so, you'd know her story enough to know where she is coming from.
So so exciting, and what a crazy whirlwind! It is going to be such a cool experience for y'all!
I know it can totally kill a good mood when your parents don't share in your enthusiasm for something. I've been there! Doesn't mean you don't regain the excitment, just means that you have a temporary dip. Hope the folks come around and get pumped up for you!
Awesome news. Your mom sounds like she reacted like my dad/stepmom do. Give her some time - she probably didnt think it was going to happen and didn't know what to say.
Now you can sell them on taking a trip to Australia to come visit you while you are there!
I didn't say I didn't understand it. I wanted her to ask herself why it bothered her so very deeply that she came here to post about it. To critically analyze the feeling above and beyond "they're my parents". Constantly seeking approval from outside sources and not recieving it can create a lot of internal conflict, hurt and unnecessary drama . What if she doesn't "come around' - are you going to continue to let it have a dark cloud on something that clearly means so much to you? It's hard to stop those negative feelings once you've already let them take hold.
I spent half my life in therapy to get away from the co-dependent relationship I had with my family and others too. I offer this advice to you free of charge. And I think most people could benefit a lot from it. It's not cold hearted, it's learning to be happy despite how other people feel about your decisions.
A lot of times, this board revolves around the whole puppies and rainbows and patting each other on the back. Sometimes it's helpful and healthy. Other times, not so much. It seems like veryone winces when anyone has the freaking nerve to say "Have you thought it about it this other way?"
I don't set out to play Devil's advocate. It's the same kind of advice I give to my friends. I don't mind sticking my neck out in the rare occasion it may actually help someone. You can't change your mom's reaction to Australia. You can only change how you feel about it. And posting here for affirmation that your mom's reaction is "wrong" isn't going to change how you feel about her response!! You're still hurt and no longer as excited. I'm just trying to help you stop that.
Amen, Taytee. The best advice I've gotten on this board is from those of you that have challenged me.
I'm sorry, but this is just too much. Yes, it upset me. Its not like to went into a deep depression over it. I posted here to share because this is where I and a lot of us share our feelings that we don't share with family. I have been talking about this whole thing with a lot of the girls on this board- off board. So, rather than emailing them all I've been sharing here. That's it, the end. Not nearly as dramatic as you are making it out to be. You could have just not replied if you are not interested in it.
This is true. B*tch.
I would also be upset by a response like that, and handle it the same way you are- *** and moan to my friends and TB until I got over it. Then I would be too busy thinking about the awesomeness to come, as I'm sure you will be too!
To be honest though, I would be excited for a friend/family member who gave me that kind of news but I probably wouldn't be all *that* worked up (<----- I know this is the wrong phrase because it's kind of negative, but I'm massively sleep deprived so my brain isn't finding what I want it to. So let's pretend I used a phrase with a more positive spin, k?) since it's only 6mos. Of course, I'm thinking of it from a purely selfish perspective of missing somebody, not the awesomeness they would get to experience. I would miss somebody for 6mos, but I wouldn't be heartbroken, especially if I could visit them in Australia! Once I got over the idea they would be gone for awhile, then I would move on to crazy excitement about the opportunity they have. Does that make sense?
Yep, makes perfect sense! I did not expect excitement, I knew she would be upset. I didn't expect to be what felt like not caring. The "ok, I've gotta go" is what upset me. I thought we would have a long conversation about things. I definitely did not expect excitement.
BTW- I'm going to need an awesome new hairstyle to go to Sydney with! I'll be making an appointment before Feb 1- so be ready!
I would definitely be hurt by that response. But at the same time, if my son told me he was moving half way across the planet for at least 6 months, taking him, my DIL and my grandbabies with him, I wouldn't be jumping up and down. She definitely could have hid the part of her that's disappointed and shown you how excited she is for you to have an opportunity like this (because I'm sure she is), but I totally see how sad she would be that she won't be able to see you and your family for a good while.
I'm so sorry your feelings got hurt, though.
But YAY! How exciting!