I'm tired, overly emotional and need some solid advice

CheezeFace · December 2011

Sorry to crash in like this but I'm getting to the brink of desperation with BFing and I'm hoping I can get some help here. I really want to BF as much as possible but I'm failing miserably.

Quick background...I had an emergency c/s 4 weeks before my due date due to complications with my liver. Baby was born healthy and screaming and latched on a few hours after delivery (I'm not sure how long....I was on drugs). Anyway, the first night at the hospital, I pumped and got about 4 ml total. I ws told this was excellent. I started feeding on demand for the remainder of my hospital stay.

At the 72 hour check up my DS had lost a tremendous amount of weight and we determined that my milk had still not come in and he was put on formula along with breastmilk. I started on fenugreek which seemed to work but at my next lactation appointment, I was switched to Mothers Milk in the capsule form.

Fast forward to tonight and my supply has dwindled to basically nothing. I'm pumping and feeding as much as I can. DS now prefers the bottle and has become quite 'lazy' when nursing.

So my questions are: after 5 weeks, is there really any hope at all that my milk will come in? Should I switch back to the fenugreek? I feel like it may have worked better than mothers milk. Is it time to just call it quits? I want to give it every shot I can but I feel like the measly 1-2 ounces I'm producing per day are not worth the loss of sleep, the stress, etc...also, I have to be careful about DS nursing too often and burning more calories than he is consuming. It's all very frustrating and it makes me so sad that I can't seem to do this for my baby.

Thanks in advance for any words of wisdom that you may have.

saraboston · December 2011

I had to supplement/pump for the first month because of weight issues. If what you're pumping is white instead of yellow, then yes, it's your milk. It took me a LONG time to ever feel engorged. Even after a month of EPing, I was able to get back to EBF during my ML. It wasn't easy. I had to use the nipple shield to transition, but we eventually got it. Go ahead and try the Fenugreek again, heck why not do both. There's a good video from Stanford on how to maximize your production with the pump--funny how the RNs and LCs never teach you how to use it. Good luck, keep trying!

jcsumm0 · December 2011

There is always hope that you can make more milk. Heck, women who adopt babies are sometimes able to induce lactation, so it is possible!

You need to find a good LC. Make sure she is IBCLC. If you are seeing one now and she doesn't make you feel better and like you have a plan and can do this after you see her, then find a different one. I would also call a LLL leader--she'll be able to help you and help you find a IBCLC if you need a good one.

Is 1-2 oz what you are getting from the pump? Your baby is probably getting more. They are more efficent than pumps and stimulate your milk supply better. Him nursing is going to cause you to make more milk better than any supplement, although take the fenugreek if you think it helps. You can also ask your dr about a rx for domperidone.

A baby his age is supposed to nurse very often, so I'm not sure what you think nursing "too often" is. My daughter was very little when she came home and not a good efficent nurser, but she was still able to nurse 8-10x a day.

What are you doing right now? Is he nurse and getting a bottle? Bottle first then nursing? Share what you are doing now and we might be able to help more.

With all that said, I know it is very hard and frustrating when things aren't working out. If you feel like you are done and would be a better happier mom for switching to formula, that is okay too. We struggled a lot in the beginning and I just had to take it one day at a time. You are doing a great job for your kid!!!

CheezeFace · December 2011

jcsumm0:
Is 1-2 oz what you are getting from the pump?
A baby his age is supposed to nurse very often, so I'm not sure what you think nursing "too often" is. My daughter was very little when she came home and not a good efficent nurser, but she was still able to nurse 8-10x a day.

What are you doing right now? Is he nurse and getting a bottle? Bottle first then nursing? Share what you are doing now and we might be able to help more.

With all that said, I know it is very hard and frustrating when things aren't working out. If you feel like you are done and would be a better happier mom for switching to formula, that is okay too. We struggled a lot in the beginning and I just had to take it one day at a time. You are doing a great job for your kid!!!

Thanks! I was really exhausted when I wrote this last night and now I feel a bit overly dramatic but I appreciate your responses none- the-less.

So, first, yes, 1-2 ounces is what I'm able to extract from a pump in about a 12-16 hour period.

I was feeding LO on demand but because of his weight issues, the LC, pediatrician and myself determined that he was nursing, burning calories but not getting anything in return. So we have him nurse for 5 minutes each side every other feeding. I nurse him first, then bottled feed, then pump after I get him to sleep. His weight is up now so I've been incorporating comfort feelings especially at night to help him sleep. I'm not sure he gets much at those times.

Im not really ready to give up yet. I want to do this and make it work. I'm going to give it every try I can but I also don't want to just spin my wheels...,

Thanks again.

CheezeFace · December 2011

saraboston:
I had to supplement/pump for the first month because of weight issues. If what you're pumping is white instead of yellow, then yes, it's your milk. It took me a LONG time to ever feel engorged. Even after a month of EPing, I was able to get back to EBF during my ML. It wasn't easy. I had to use the nipple shield to transition, but we eventually got it. Go ahead and try the Fenugreek again, heck why not do both. There's a good video from Stanford on how to maximize your production with the pump--funny how the RNs and LCs never teach you how to use it. Good luck, keep trying!

Thanks! Most of what I'm producing is foremilk vs. hind milk. When LO nurses, then I pump I can tell that he takes the fore milk because only the hind milk is expressed at those times. There just isn't enough of it for him.

Pits really good to hear that you were able to get back to EBF...gives me hope.

jcsumm0 · December 2011

5 min is not very much time to expect him to get the hindmilk. What worked for us was giving her 1-2 oz in a bottle first. Read on kellymom how to bottle feed the breast fed baby so he doesn't develop nipple preference. Then breastfeed after. He won't be ravenous and he'll have some energy to nurse. Plus it is nice to have him nurse and fall asleep at the breast--very satisfying to put your baby in a "milk coma." Then I pumped after that.

Also, if he's having that much trouble transferring milk, I'd have another LC take a look at his latch, even if everyone else told you it was great.

jcsumm0 · December 2011

Also, I would make sure you are using the right size flanges and everything is hunky-dory w/your pump. you might even consider renting a hospital grade pump for a month. They can work a lot better for some women. I found it to be a lot better and more comfortable for me when we were supplementing.

gabriella78 · December 2011

Besides everything else mentioned, drink lots of water or other fluids. It seems so simple, but being well hydrated helps a lot. Good luck!

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