Parenting after 35

Sad...

I wrote a post a few weeks ago that I was pregnant with my second child and my DH wasn't all that thrilled about it.  Well, as he was feeling better about it (but still not great), I had a miscarriage last week.  I was 8 weeks pregnant.  I am definately sad and don't think that we will be trying again.  This is mainly due to my DH.  What kills me is that our DS has been asking me for a baby sister alot lately.  I really wished that I had another child a couple of years ago.  Anyway, I'm just venting.  I have a beautiful 4 year old son and that is alot to be grateful for, but I can't help feeling like I am cheating my DS out of a sibling. 

Re: Sad...

  • I'm so sorry for your loss -- and for the sad feelings... Thoughts are with you.  
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  • I am so sorry :(
  • Thanks...I have just been taking it day by day...
  • I'm very sorry for your loss. I'm in something of a similar situation ( see too old post) we lost our second at 12-13 weeks. I would like to try again. Husband is hesitant. I too worry about my daughter not having a sibling.

    With this miscarriage I'm grieving not just the loss of a planned baby but maybe the dream of a second child also. 

  • @Javanut - yes, it does sound like we are in the same boat.  It's no fun at all.  This miscarriage has hit me pretty hard too.  I wish my DH was on the same page as me.  I did read your post earlier today. 

    I just turned 40 and my DH is 43 and he worries about his age and also his patience.  Our son can be challenging, but he is a great little boy!  Good luck with your situation.

  • I am so so sorry. 
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  • I am very sorry for your loss.
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  • I am so sorry too. 
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  • I'm so sorry for your loss.  It's just not fair.
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  • I'm so sorry for your loss... and for all the other factors that are making you (understandably) even more sad.  Hugs to you.  What a crappy time of year for this - not that it ever comes at a good time, but for me painful things during the holidays seem to hurt even more. 
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  • I am so sorry!!!!!

    And please know that you are NOT cheating your son out of a sibling. While sometimes siblings are close, there are many times when they are not. I speak from personal experience.

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  • I am sorry to hear about your miscarriage and I hope you are feeling ok.  Your DH might change his mind -- mine did.  My DH had a complete panic attack when I told him I wanted another, but he came around.  Your son is beautiful.  Whatever life holds for you next you definitely been blessed.  Having said that, I am sorry for your sadness now. Take care.
  • I am sorry for your loss.
  • So sorry for your loss :(
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  • Very sorry Sad

    But 40 is not too old to try again. I'm 41 and want a 2nd child but husband is also hesitant. We have only tried a couple of months but not enough to increase our chances of conceiving. Mostly it's b/c my husband is not 100% sure about another child. It makes me sad to think that Adrian might be our one and done and that he won't have a sibling. I always wanted 2 and like you, I'm not sure that's going to happen. Having a m/c must make that so much harder. Again, I'm sorry Left Hug

    Me: 44 DH: 42. DS born healthy at 40 weeks 8/24/09. TTC since then with no luck or ART. Surprise BFP 8/6/14... MMC @ 8 weeks 4 days... Miss you everyday sweet baby angel.
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