How hard do you "try"?

KittyKatMom · December 2011

I was really hoping to have sex at least EOd during my FW this cycle, but that doesn't seem to be working out. DH works late a couple nights a week and there are nights when one or both of us is just too tired or not in the mood. Morning sex is not an option because of DS. I know more sex = better chances of conceiving, but I don't want it to feel like a chore. Anyone else feel this way or do you just do it anyway in pursuit of a goal?

gplove94 · December 2011

I'm feeling like this right now. Yesterday I had a pos OPK at 6 PM and was hoping to get in some sex, but MH went to his office holiday party and didn't come home until midnight and fell right to sleep despite my pushing and poking at him to wake up haha. I wanted to have sex this morning but then I was way too tired. Now I'm feeling like not having sex last night was a bad idea and am in a bad mood about it. Ugh. We definitely are doing it tonight I don't care who is tired! haha.

Laylarue · December 2011

The way I look at it is if we are in the mood we have sex, if not we don't. I don't want to make myself feel forced or stressed about it. We are only on cycle 4 though so I'm sure as months go by with no BFP my tune will change!

jschwind22 · December 2011

We struggle with this, too. DH works a lot of 2nd shifts while I work 1st. Sometimes we go 3-4 days without even seeing each other. Like this week, I saw DH Sunday, yesterday evening from 8:30-10:30 PM, and now I won't see him again until Saturday. Luckily this is not my fertile window, but it has happened like this before. I really just focus on hitting my fertile window with anything. If we can have more sex, great. If not, at least we have a chance that cycle. Good luck to you!

Wild_flower25 · December 2011

I feel this way. That is why I don't push for everyday. If we do it twice in the 4 days around ovulation I am happy. I don't want to push him or make it a job.

mrmrssauers · December 2011

We try to have a mixture of both. We definitely have scheduled, ED sex during the FW (luckily we both work day shift and have the nights at home together) but we try to make sure we're having fun too. It does get to the point where it feels like a chore, but MH and I really want to have a baby, and figure if that means we have sex a few times when we don't want to, then so be it. Plus, more often than not, even if we don't feel like it, it ends up being fun anyway Wink

loveblacklab · December 2011

We also have a mixture of both. We have definitely come to the point where sometimes we do it during the FW just to try even though we really aren't in the mood. Then of course there are times when we don't do it and I regret not doing it. But I will say that we've never done it and regreted it

rayofsunshine99 · December 2011

We typically only do as often as it's convenient. This cycle though, we did one extra time completely for the sake of ttc at a completely inconvenient time but I am still glad that we managed to have sex 3 times in the FW versus usually when we only have sex once or twice during that time. I think going forward we will try make a point to have sex more even if we're not in the mood.

advb0921 · December 2011

Yes, I know what you are talking about. I am in my FW now. It's hard with schedules and work and all that. Sometimes DH is too tired or like last night, my dog broke 2 Xmas ornaments off my tree while we were gone because he was mad at us for leaving. I was in no mood after cleaning up glass ect... I try not to make it like a chore but it's difficult.

ChiTown Bridget · December 2011

Yes, I know how you are feeling. I have a toddler, dh works late nights and gets up at 4:45 in the morning so bding in the morning is not an option. We are both too tired. We do find a way to bd during my fw but I will admit at times it is pretty much strictly baby making sex and that's it.

NJMom050911 · December 2011

ChiTown Bridget:
Yes, I know how you are feeling. I have a toddler, dh works late nights and gets up at 4:45 in the morning so bding in the morning is not an option. We are both too tired. We do find a way to bd during my fw but I will admit at times it is pretty much strictly baby making sex and that's it.

This is us too and because of it our timing hasn't been so great.

Enchanted616 · December 2011

I kinda find its mind over matter.. DH always wants to, so even if Im not in the mood, I force myself to just think about sex (NOT making a baby) for ten minutes or so before we go to bed and that seems to do the trick. O happened on a weekend this month, and we had sex three times that day.. pretty much cause I just convinced myself I wanted to, not just to have a baby (although that was why).

Okay, now that I read over that, I'm not sure if it makes much sense..

angelsnight · December 2011

Yes, it can certainly feel like a chore sometimes. Once we get going it's good, but it's the wanting to get going thats tough.

But, it only takes once. We only had sex once a few days before O and we got KU, so it can happen.

ash2664 · December 2011

jlk6:
Do any of your husbands not want to know when your FW is? This cycle my husband felt "pressured" by it and has asked me not to tell him next time when it is. But I kinda feel like it will be obvious when I start pushing for sex more often but I am going to try to keep him in the dark the best I can.

Yes, the first month I used OPK's I told him when I had a positive and he couldn't finish 2 days in a row. I was upset and so was he. We have never had a problem with him finishing before. He asks me about my temp and even CP sometimes, but he doesn't wanna know when I am in my FW. It worked last month (not that we got pregnant obviously) and hopefully this month. I think you just gotta initiate at other times too. That way it won't be so obvious.

ansi29 · December 2011

Cycles 1, 2, and 3 didn't feel like trying. It was lots of fun and exciting to think we might be making a baby. Cycle 4 and 5 I tried extra hard and it kind of sucked a little. Cycle 8 I didn't try at all b/c we were waiting for genetic testing to come back. That cycle was a relief. This cycle I'm trying to chill and not treat my husband like he's not only useful for depositing sperm.

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