just returned from therapy

amd1982 · December 2011

I had my first therapy appt today and it felt so good to talk to someone who just listened. didn't offer any type of resolution, just listened. hopefully this will take a little pressure off of DH and Mom who have to listen to me all the time! she's very nice and just let me keep talking.....i'm seeing her again next week which is nice.

on another note, has anyone noticed that their friends who have had babies/are having babies have distanced themselves from you (possibly due to IF)? i have a friend who got KU accidentally last year while DH and I had just started trying. she kept telling me it would happen to us eventually and complained the whole time about her pregnancy and saying she wasn't ready. then she had the baby, got pg while breastfeeding and is due in march. she knows of our troubles, and yet i continue to call her to say hi and catch up and she never calls me back. i'm starting to wonder if she's just busy or if she feels uncomfortable talking to me?

honeygirl500 · December 2011

Good for you for finding a healthy outlet! I totally understand the friend thing also. It has happened to me, why I don't know. Perhaps you are right maybe they feel uncomfortable or maybe they are just trying to make it easier on you. Really not so great either way cause it is always hard to lose a friend.

kz's_girlygirl · December 2011

I'm glad your first appointment went well! Hopefully things continue to get better and you find some real relief.

Regarding friends distancing themselves-I have noticed this as well. I try not to take it personally since I haven't told them our issues. I tend to think it is more related to just different stages in life. I don't think they are consciously making the choice to not call me as often etc. because they have children and I don't. They are going through things I am not, and maybe they find they have more in common with their friends from the mom & me groups. It is true, I suppose, but it doesn't really make it feel any better.

AnnP13 · December 2011

Therapy is the best, isn't it? So great to have someone listen, not judge, give support, and always be on your side

Sadly I too have a few friends that are distancing themselves. I try not to get upset about it, but at times it is too much. Thankfully I have a good support system to lean on - and they know that should they ever need me, I'll be there.

honeygirl500 · December 2011

kz's_girlygirl:

I'm glad your first appointment went well! Hopefully things continue to get better and you find some real relief.

Regarding friends distancing themselves-I have noticed this as well. I try not to take it personally since I haven't told them our issues. I tend to think it is more related to just different stages in life. I don't think they are consciously making the choice to not call me as often etc. because they have children and I don't. They are going through things I am not, and maybe they find they have more in common with their friends from the mom & me groups. It is true, I suppose, but it doesn't really make it feel any better.

I think you are right KZ. Sad, but true. There probably is just more in common with the friends that have children etc.

katib77 · December 2011

I honestly think with friends it all depends on how much you really have in common mixed with a combination of effort (From all parties).

A little story example: There were five of us girls that were super close since we were 12. We all went to different colleges. Then I moved to three differant states before moving back to home town, friend Joy moved to hawaii and back and then six hours south, Lauren & Barb stayed in home town, and Brit moved to GA. Of us five girls...Brit & Barb both have kids, Lauren is PG after dealing with IF, and I'm in treatments. Joy has never wanted children. SHE is the one that in the last two years we almost never talk to. The one without kids - because her hopes & dreams in life are just very different. Even when I lived in other states & with Brit 18 hours away - the rest of us have all stayed pretty close. Even after Barb had her second child - she just took me out for birthday margaritta's with her five week old asleep at home. Why? She makes the effort & we have tons in common. Babies & IF was only 20% of the conversation...and that was about 12% her newborn & 8% my IF. But I also know she's a busy mom , as is Brit. I try to stop by and see Barb once a month in her home & play with her 2 year old so we don't lose touch. And I call Brit once every two weeks (after toddlers bed time) for the same reason. I make the effort - but try to understand their schedule. It's a give and take.

Sadly it looks like you're putting in the effort and she's not. Keep trying every now and then until the baby is about nine months. If she doesn't make an effort then try to accept that she's the one who let it fall apart. Don't blame your IF.

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just returned from therapy

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