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Maryland Babies
jcsntms06
member
FFC/VENTS!
jcsntms06
member
I figure it's been awhile since we done one of these!
FFC- I'm really nervous about breastfeeding. I really never breastfeed A due to her being born so early. I remember getting her to to the boob about 5 times during her 12 day NICU stay. The NICU was really pushing the bottle and I really wanted my baby home, so I pumped (as much as I could, every three hours) and supplemented with formula. I really want to breastfeeding baby #2, but I'm scared that I'm going to fail again.
VENT- I'm sick and tired of looking for daycare. I feel like I've had the worst luck with daycare providers. Here's my track record: 1st daycare provider (had to cancel due to DH losing his job) 2nd provider just plain sucked (changed after 4 days), 3rd provider decided to stop daycare (we were with her for a year). 4th provider- I'm not even sure where to start, I just want to cry and vomit. If I didn't sign up a flexible spending account for 2012, I would seriously consider being a SAHM.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: FFC/VENTS!
I saw your post on FB- I am so sorry you are going through this.
Also I know I had a much easier time bf'ing DS than I did DD and many of my mom friends feel the same way w/ #2. Even though I took a class and read before DD was born I really didn't know that I just had to keep nursing her all the time, in order to get my milk to come in quickly, etc. We ended up doing great, but we had a rocky start. W/ DS I knew I had to get him up on my chest post-birth as quickly as possible and then just keep on nursing and it was much smoother sailing.
My FFC- I have issues w/ Christmas gift-giving. I remember having SO much under the tree growing up- gifts from my parents, my mom, my dad, my mom and dad together, etc. Toys from Santa, bursting stockings, etc. I want my kids to have that excitement- but they don't really NEED that much stuff- it's not like I hold off on buying or giving them clothes until it's Christmas (which is what my mom did.) DD is going to have plenty under the tree, but DS not so much- it's hard because all of the "big stuff" like a toy kitchen, was already bought for DD or I got off freecycle like our train table. My angst over gifts extends to my parents and ILs as well. My dad is perfectly happy getting nothing for Christmas- he would be perfectly happy w/ hand-made cards from DD and a photo album of pics of the kids. My mom however I think expects some nice stuff- but honestly she doesn't need it, their house is bursting at the seams. Same w/ the ILs who are downsizing from 2 houses to 1 in the spring- I don't know how they are going to do it.
My vent is also holiday related- and I guess 2 parts. DH has had a lot of work related holiday/end of year events after work, so he's been coming home late. He is changing departments/jobs so he has 2 work parties - both in the evening and neither one includes spouses. I know it's just a work party, but I would have liked to have had one adult holiday party to go to! He is also sick and he ALWAYS gets sick this time of year, so when he does come home "on time" ~6 pm he is basically useless in the parenting department. Which is annoying because I don't ever get to call in sick. Tonight I had to go out and get stuff for DD's school party tomorrow and the GC the class is giving her teacher and when I came home @ 9, DD was still up!
Try not to be nervous! I can understand how it's overwhelming considering what you went through with A. There are a bunch of us on the board who successfully breasted, we can help. I always recommend going to an LLL meeting WHILE you are pregnant so you can see it in action and establish a relationship with a leader. I also recommend buying a nipple shield and keeping it in your hospital bag. That thing saved me in the first few weeks and I was able to wean from it easily, it's not a bad thing by any means.
I am so, so sorry about your daycare situation. You could still SAH, as long as you get the money out of the account within 60 days or so from when you quit you can still use it
Francesca Pearl is here! Josephine Hope is almost 3!
I really need to start pumping and try introducing a bottle to DS since he will be going into daycare in a few weeks. but BFing is going so well I haven't even pulled my pump out of my closet. I am like a holstein this time around!
Confession: I hold DS way, way too much. There are some days where I just lay around and watch TV and he sleeps on me almost all day. i know i should put him down and do stuff around the house but i love snuggling with him and watching DVRed stuff.
I feel you on the gift giving Daisy. Especially on the gifts for adults. My dad does not need one thing. So we will give him a GC to go out to eat, and he in turn will give us a GC for clothes or home depot....its annoying. Our family keeps saying lets just focus on the kids at christmas so we finally stopped all the gift exchanges between cousins, aunts, etc, but honestly all the kids are spoiled and none of them need ANYTHING so I am stumped on them too.
Jen, I am sorry you are having such a difficult time with daycare. I hope you find a solution that works for you.
Daisyterp, I totally agree on the present thing. I am overwhelmed by the whole thing. We have so much stuff already, and I swear her second birthday brought an unreasonable amount of small plastic and wooden pieces. My mom set the Santa bar really high and I don't know if I can keep up.
DH tells me I hold DD2 way too much and that's why she won't sleep on her own at night. Well today, she slept in her bouncy chair a lot today and low and behold, she sleep tonight. We're watching Storage Wars right now. Well, I'm watching it, DD2 is passed out in my arms.
My vent - DH was so good with DD1 but he sucks with DD2. He picks her up and tells me that she wants to nurse. Nope, she just rejected nursing 10 minutes ago so suck it up, you aren't passing her back to me.
My confession - I'm really thinking about busting out some skittles at 1am. I'm sure that's a bad idea but I don't care. I'm never going to lose this baby weight.
Michelle-Talk to me about this... I thought because I put the money into a flexible spending account for daycare that it had to be used for daycare? Obviously I don't want to be out of $5000. And I don't think I could wing quitting now, it would have to be after baby#2 arrives.
Very good to know. I guess DH and I need to have a talk in the next few weeks.
I don't know if this is a vent or FFC...I have a friend (no children) who I like, I enjoy her company, we get along pretty well, etc. But after I had Clara she and her boyfriend were sooo pushy (he came by with food - nice. stayed for four hours when she was four days old, and asked DH to play frisbee golf w/ him the next day since he was "off work" (dh didn't) - not so nice.) and she kept making comments when Clara was less than a month old about how I needed to get out of the house more and how she never sees me anymore and how I shouldn't become "Rachel" (mutual friend who in her words, disappeared after she had a baby), etc, etc. I was having such a rough time BF and already had people convincing me that Clara must be starving b/c she was nursing so much that I was starting to believe them...Anyways, now Clara's older, I get out a lot more plus I think this friend has settled down a bit. But I just can't forgive her. It's not worth bringing up I don't think, it's over and done with, but I'm still mad at her. I was in such a dark place and was already so self conscious about Clara nursing 24/7 and I had so many people telling me what was "wrong." I know everyone including her was well-intentioned; I don't know why I can't get over her attitude. I guess I'm more mad at myself than her, because I let everything she said get to me. Now when we get together I still enjoy her company but I'm a little bit resentful and it's not quite the same. We're supposed to hang out this weekend and it's going to be "late" (for Clara) and I am already anticipating the comments about how being out is good for Clara so I shouldn't rush home to get her into bed. Sigh.
I will sometimes come up with a plan in my head about something to do with DS (phasing out a bottle, adding a meal, introducing a new food, etc) and I may mention something in passing to DH about it. Then the next day, I will find that DH has put my maybe-we-should-think-about plan into action and already dropped a bottle or given DS a new food. It's not how I would have done it, but I don't say anything because I want him to feel confident in making decisions about DS's care.
We are a pro-CIO family. We've been doing it for about 1.5 weeks now and last night DS cried for <10 seconds, then slept 10 straight hours. It's working really well right now and I can't believe how much better *I* feel. I didn't realize how stressed I was before with his poor sleep.
Totally unrelated...I am incapable of leaving a party when I want to. We were at a party last weekend and it got to the point where I was ready to leave but then we stood there for an hour while I waited for the right time to get a word into the conversation to say we were leaving. We actually left 2 hours later than I wanted.
ETA: Oh I have another one. DH is ALWAYS sick. If he's not sick, he's hurt his back or neck. It's not that I don't feel bad for him, but it sucks for me too. And it contributes to him wistfully saying things like "maybe if I was younger when we had kids, I'd be able to help you out more". Okay you're not 100, you're 38. It's not OLD. It sounds lame, but I think if he had a better attitude, he'd feel younger.
BFP#1: 01/10, M/C 6w
BFP#2: 06/10, M/C 5w
BFP#3: 09/10, DS born June 1, 2011
BFP#4: 07/12, M/C 5w3d
BFP#5: 12/12, EDD 08/18/13
My Blog: Decorate This
Sarah....we are pro-cio (or I am) and it worked when I needed it. I really need to get her out of my bed because like you said, I will feel so much better and less stress/tired.
Vent: I have SO much to do before Christmas. I really don't know how i'll get it all done. Work is KILLING me and it's been way too many hrs.
Jen, you can do it!!! Just remember that every baby/pregnancy is different and just because it didn't work out with A doesn't mean it won't work out now. There are a lot of BFing mommies on this board who I'm sure are more than willing to offer suggestions/listen to vents. Yes, BF is a natural thing, but that doesn't mean it's always easy.
My FFC - one of the reasons I'm into babywearing is so my MIL can't hold DD. It's a very small reason, but a reason nonetheless.
And I'm not sure if this is a vent of a FFC but I'm so ready for Christmas to be over. I cannot remember the last year that I actually enjoyed a Christmas. I know I should be super giddy and happy this year now that Lucy is here, and I am, but the stress of the holidays and shopping, parties, baking, dealing with crowds etc etc etc stresses me the eff out.
Babywearing comes in handy around lots of different people!
Yes, it's nice to "hold" DD and be hands-free, but when we're out of the house 99% of the time I'm wearing DD because I don't want the people around me to hold her...mostly my mother. :P And I fully anticipate I will be the doing the same thing when MIL comes to visit in March.
LOL!!! I'm glad I'm not the only one.
I really DO enjoy babywearing. I love having DD close to me and since she likes to be held a lot, BW gives me the freedom of having the use of my hands. But like you said, it comes in handy when you're around people you don't want to hold her.
Vent - I'm with you all on the Christmas for adults silliness. I don't mind buying presents for DD and even DH, but seriously - my dad, my mom? They need nothing, want nothing - I've given then beautiful framed pictures of DD - and then I come over a month later and the frame has fallen down crowded out by dog toys or other clutter, and then when I'm there another month later, the frame is still laying down.
FFC - I'm tired of DH being sick - he was sick 2.5 days last week, so far 2 days this week. Dude - take some advil and a decongestant and let's keep it moving. I've had to do p/up and drop off 2 days this week and I'm annoyed.
OMG, I'll be doing the same thing!!! My MIL is fine but there are other family members that I'm avoiding
Jen, I'm also worrying about BFing. I know it's natural but I also know it's not easy either, so I'm just hoping I can do it. I just found out this morning that there are LC at Upper Chesapeake, they meet twice a week, and they are free. So, I think I'll def be checking them out.
My FFC - people need to leave me alone regarding CDing. I swear everyone has an opinion on it and I'm sick of hearing it. I'm glad that we haven't shared names because I can imagine, that would be just as bad.
DE IVF #1= 04/11 - BFP
Do you mind passing along the information? Is their any requirement about attending? I hope not. I plan on delivering at FSH.
I got another FFC- My MIL needs to leave me the F alone about the name of this baby. We aren't sharing this time around and it's really hard for my family to get that. DON'T ASK ME every DAMN DAY! I'm not going to change my mind.
Jen, I worried my whole last pregnancy about the BFing (I had struggles the first time and had to wind up EPing and it stunk!), but the others are right when they say it's so much easier the second time.
Vent: A is just getting over her cold and now F has one and she is miserable. She is with DH today and I want to be home darnnit! I really wish I could SAH, I know that will never be an option unfortunately but I can still wish.
Jen, anyone can go to the BF group at upper Chesapeake, I went at least once a week while I was on leave with DD. I can tell you all about it, I really liked it.
Char- I am all about not sharing the names. Good for you!!
mrs remy....snuggle that baby and enjoy! I was the same way with Claire. Never once put her down for a nap for the 3.5 months I was home with her. Spoiled her rotten. FWIW, my daycare provider had her on a nap schedule within 1.5 weeks. Enjoy the newborn stage...it'll be gone before you know it.
Jenn, you know my BF experience with Aiden, and I'm happy and surprised to say I'm still BFing Claire. Every child is different, and I think determination goes a long way. UCMC has a great BF support group that I went to religiously with Claire and I think that was a big part of our success. You can do it!
Vent: Why does almost everything Christmas related fall on me to plan? I bought all the presents, wrapped them all, am planning the meals for when we entertain, am baking, etc. I'm so stressed!!
Confession: Claire is hardly getting anything, and what she is getting she is getting simply so Aiden won't wonder why she isn't getting anything. There's nothing she needs, and I'm cheap!
miscarriage on 11/26/09 at 5w6d
We didn't tell anyone the name until we were in the delivery room. They eventually gave up asking us though it took them awhile. My mom would ask every time I talked to her in the beginning once we found out what we were having but it eventually went to being every few weeks. By the end she was no longer asking us anymore. My husband got so tired of people asking him at work that he started messing with everyone. He would give them ridiculous hints that I couldn't even figure out where he was going with them.
Thank you for saying this. LO doesn't nap anywhere but on me. and I was really worried that daycare at the end of January would be a disaster. So glad to hear that it could be perfectly fine despite how much I currently hold her.
Baby Girl #2 is on her way!
Ditto Lauranne!!!
I literally did not put DD down while I was on maternity leave. At first because she was just so damn snuggly and I didn't WANT to put her down and then after a while she just wanted to be held and would fuss if I put her down. I tried putting her in different places to nap and she would not sleep anywhere but my chest. I was seriously in a panic like the week before going back to work thinking I had ruined her for life.
Our DCP was somehow able to get DD on this awesome schedule and she slept for TWO HOURS in her PNP on her first day there. I seriously almost fell over dead the first time she told me that, and since then DD has been on almost the same exact schedule. It's funny how different babies are with you and with other people.