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charmcitygirl
member
SAHMs - What do you do when you're just not enjoying it?
charmcitygirl
member
Let me say that I know this is all temporary and a phase, but it just sucks!
Jacob has been a holy terror lately. The last month or so he is so defiant, doesn't listen to anything anyone says and is generally just very contrary. Being at home with him alone every day is really starting to grate on my nerves to where I'm getting annoyed at him first thing in the morning (probably because he was such a pill the day before and the day before that) and it just spirals from there.
He screams when he doesn't get what he wants. Asks repeatedly for something. He's constantly climbing on me.
The good thing is that he's in school MWF for 3 hours and his teacher says that he's a very good listener and is very eager to please! Why can't he be that way at home too?!
DH is working crazy (as usual), so when he leaves at 8am...I'm on my own. I try to get out every day to do something fun or an errand, but one of my biggest beefs with him right now is that he WILL NOT get in his carseat without a fight. He jumps around the backseat, tries to climb into the back of the SUV, does the stiff body when I finally wrestle him into the seat and then hits me (in the face) while I'm trying to get him buckled. It seriously makes me not want to leave the house. I end up sweating and yelling and it just sucks!
My inlaws are coming down this weekend and that just adds to my stress knowing that we can't even have a relaxing weekend. Its always tense when they're here because they're just weird people. And I can't even look forward to some extra time off for DH for the holidays because he has something due for work on December 30.
Don't get me wrong. We have very fun times each day too, but I can't seem to shake the bad moments. And it makes me enjoy being at home with him less and less. 
Anyone have any tips for getting through this challenging phase?
And PS - if one more person tells me how much worse the 3s are, I'm going to kick them. 
Allison
This discussion has been closed.
Re: SAHMs - What do you do when you're just not enjoying it?
Oh wow I am sorry. I work part time (although now it feels like full time) and I definitely have my moments with Nicholas. There are days he definitely tries my patience. I try to remain as calm as possible. It's tough though especially when I'm busy feeding or tending to Ava.
((HUGS)).
Girl you and I need to get together!
We are still in this phase it started around 2.5 and hasn't seemed to get much better.
Fenton does spend quite a bit of time in time out during the day.
I have found that keeping Fenton busy helps, I give him chores to do and he is not allowed to just go and play with his trains and cars all day. Getting out each day for a walk, playing with plydoh arts and crafts etc etc.
1. This too shall pass
2. Be consistent with discipline, but don't be afraid to switch it up if your approach isn't working
3. Fake it til you make it
I don't have any real advice.. I just know how you feel. My only thought is to maybe send him to school more days a week.. If he likes it and is excelling it might be a good option. I know I have some guilt abt sending my J do early to school he is starting in Jan but he is so smart, social and outgoing that it's the best place for him. Especially w the new baby comin I for see his behavior getting worse if he didn't have this outlet...
As I was driving to work after dropping DD off at day care I thought to myself - I am not sure how sahm's do it; I couldn't. I give you a lot of credit.
I wanted to chime in about the car seat. Our car seat is a terror to get into; I have started coming up with different strategies based on moment/phase. Right now she loves her farm alphabet wheel (not sure what it is called - the one that says "the cow says Mooo" and you spin the wheel) so I give her that while I am getting her in. I also use food, playing games, whatever it takes. DH just wrestles her in and she screams. I might be giving into her manipulative measures, but it sure is easier. I don't know if you can come up with some ways to make it fun but don't discount how difficult this is or how much it affects you; I started to realize how much I dreaded going anywhere for this reason. What about a sticker chart for getting in the car nicely? After x stickers a prize?
I could have written a lot of this post myself. And I will kick anyone that says 3s are worse too so you all better watch out!
Bennett knows how to work me over more than anyone else. It is obviously to anyone that knows us. I've been home with him since day one and he's had 100% of my attention, within seconds of asking for it. But carrying around a 30 lbs kid all day, or fighting to get him a car seat (yes, he does that same stint too!) is hard. My back constantly hurts and when he goes through phases of not sleeping well, which he has for the last week, it makes my patience extra thin.
I try to start every morning as a new day. Knowing he doesn't likely remember being so much trouble the day before OR me losing it with him more times than I can count. I figure if he can forgive me so quickly, I should try to also. Sometimes this works, some days it doesn't. But it's something I try to do each morning and then just see where the day takes us.
I don't have any time really without him until the weekends. I miss my DH during the week, but usually take that time to do things by myself or with friends. I need it. DH says how much he misses DS during the week and I need to get out for my sanity. I do my grocery/Target shopping then, see friends for lunch, etc.
Good luck this weekend with the weird IL, got some of those too and hopefully after the first of the year you will be able to handle it all better. I'll be checking back on this post for more ideas for myself too!
On the car seat thing, here is what we did.
Okay, Charlotte, we are going to the store. If you go out to the car, get in your seat nicely, and don't make a fuss, we will go to the McDonald's Play Place. If you don't, we won't.
She didn't, so no, we didn't go. She cried.
Next day, Charlotte, we are going to the store. If you want to go to McDonald's, get in nicely.
She did, we went to McDonald's.
I reminded her for a week, before we opened the garage door, make a fuss, get nothing. Be a nice girl, we might get or do something special. That worked for us.
I find that as long as we keep busy, the days go so much better. I try and keep her says on a nice schedule of craft time, cooking time, help with chores time, outside time (morning and afternoon) and an adventure thrown in the mix. We are both happier with a nice schedule of activities. Boredom is our enemy.
I also have my escape activity when we are at odds...head to McDonalds with the newspaper or a People magazine. Let her loose in the Play Place, buy myself a latte, and read.
Other than his name, the specific days at school, and your ILs coming down (mine are weird too though and it'd be the same!), I could have written every word of this.
You're not alone. Either wine (a few sips are OK!) or hot chocolate?
That's all I've got. I'm sorry.
Our Thanksgiving Day baby 11/22/07
Pregnant with #2 with LPD, uterine polyp/hysteroscopy, DOR (AMH = 0.17), 2 c/ps
Our early Christmas present 12/9/10
Claire's been off the hook a lot, too, lately. I've talked to my daycare mom about some of the techniques she uses when a child wants to do something and can't have it, etc. I've had some success using those at home, mainly because of the consistancy part. For example, Claire wanted to play games on my phone, which I didn't really want her to do for a few reasons, so I set the timer for 5 minutes and told her when the timer went off, she was done. It worked! I think that if I'd just told her to get off, there would have been a meltdown. Maybe you could ask his teacher for a few suggestions.
Big hugs! I know it's hard when you're pg with #2.
Honestly?
I went back to work part time.
When I'm home full time I can't wait to get some time away from my kids.
When I work part time I can't wait to spend time with them.
Not really an option for you right now but it's my honest answer.
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
And this as soon Jasper is not as dependent on me I plan on finding a part time job.
I also wanted to say that IMO, if 2 is really hard, then 3 will be better. If 2 was easy, then 3 will be harder. 2 was good with me and then 3 was a nightmare...I was in tears quite a bit. Hang in there girl!
no advice here, but I could have written the same post. I just don't find myself enjoying my kids as much as I know I should these days. Like you, my husband works long hours so it's me and the two boys from 7am to at least 7pm every day. I find myself losing my patience, yellling, etc much more often than I like.
Ideally, I'd love to get a part time job - I think with just a little less time with them, I'd appreciate them more. I just haven't found something that will pay for daycare part-time (I don't even care if I make ANY money, I just need to break even).
So again, no advice. Just know you're not alone.