Does your LO have a "preferred" parent?

wandafeet · December 2011

Both DH and I work outside the home, but I take DD to and from daycare, so I get a little bit more time with her. Whenever DH is not around, DD asks for dada over and over and over...And if he is around, she'll run to him rather than me. It's really cute, but also a tiny bit ouch.

Anyway, I'm sure a lot of reasons play into why this is, but I was just curious if any else's LO display this kind of preferential inclination.

kcl22 · December 2011

It depends on his mood and needs. If he wants to play he wants Daddy. If it's time for bed or he doesn't feel well he wants Mama.

MrsMommyQ · December 2011

I only work 2 days a week so LO prefers me. If she wants to play though, she goes right to DH. And when he's at work, she says "dada?" and points to the door a LOT.

My mom watches her when i work and there is a definitely "pecking order". Mama first, DH second, Yaya (what she calls my mom) third. This is the way it goes no matter who is around.

JJ1973 · December 2011

wandafeet:
Both DH and I work outside the home, but I take DD to and from daycare, so I get a little bit more time with her. Whenever DH is not around, DD asks for dada over and over and over...And if he is around, she'll run to him rather than me. It's really cute, but also a tiny bit ouch.
Anyway, I'm sure a lot of reasons play into why this is, but I was just curious if any else's LO display this kind of preferential inclination.

Exact same scenario here. My child yells "Dada" repeatedly from the time I pick him up from daycare, throughout dinner, and prior to bedtime (on the nights my husband doesn't get home until 9). I assume this is because of my husband's schedule and the fact he doesn't get to see him much during the weekdays. My job is a bit more flexible, so I am drop off and pick up. My husband tells me, though, that he yells "Mama" repeatedly when I'm not around. I guess he likes us to be together:)

MNgirl326 · December 2011

It used to be me, but now it is Dh.

DH is gone a lot for work and LO has now notices when he comes and goes where as a year ago, he didn't. So LO tends to miss DH and looks for him when he is not here. So, when he is here, LO tends to gravitate towards him and doesn't want him out of his sight.

Where as me- I am old news at this point.

bstrangely · December 2011

i think it's pretty typical for them to go back and forth. right now ds is my biggest fan, but our friends have a 2yo who is totally into daddy. i can't wait for this:

https://www.fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?st=665&e=expertadvice&catnamestart=m&ccat=PS_MakeTime&content=81350

Court0026 · December 2011

DD prefers me. She didn't want DH to hold her until she was almost 1. Now she likes him, but still likes me to be right there.

DS doesn't seem to have a preference. We spend a lot of time together, so I know we both like our time apart.

Jenelle101 · December 2011

I work from home, so DD prefers me....especially in the middle of the night when she wakes up. She always screams, "Mommy! Mommy!!" But every morning when she wakes up she asks for her Daddy. She says, "Daddy work," and I say, "Yes, Daddy is at work."

DH loves it when I text message him during the day to let him know she's asking about him.

sugarland726 · December 2011

When she isn't at daycare, she is with me. DH works longer hours so she misses him more. Not an hour goes by without her calling for Dada. But I went away for a weekend a few weeks ago and my H said she kept calling for Mama. When he gets her in the morning she calls for me too. So I am starting to think she knows we are a set and calls for the missing parent.

MrsDe2008 · December 2011

I'm a SAHM and DH works long hours some days, so she sees me much more than him. With that said, she prefers to be with me. Sometimes (on the rare occassion), she looks for him, but majority of the time, it's me. I'm not gonna lie though...I love it! lol

Smootchy · December 2011

wandafeet:

Both DH and I work outside the home, but I take DD to and from daycare, so I get a little bit more time with her. Whenever DH is not around, DD asks for dada over and over and over...And if he is around, she'll run to him rather than me. It's really cute, but also a tiny bit ouch.

Anyway, I'm sure a lot of reasons play into why this is, but I was just curious if any else's LO display this kind of preferential inclination.

You have decribed us. I'm with LO more often. Sometime DH travels for work... DS is a great, happy, laughable, loving 2 year old..Who prefers daddy.

FusionLMT · December 2011

He is a total momma's boy, but he is good w/ DH when I am at work or out.

DreadLoc · December 2011

Beanie_mrt:
I'm a SAHM, so my LO prefers me. I'm always super glad when he goes to his dad or asks for him. I know it makes my husband happy

Words right out of my mouth. Or from my hands. Or keyboard. Whatever, you know what I mean!

MirandaLea29 · December 2011

bstrangely:
i think it's pretty typical for them to go back and forth. right now ds is my biggest fan, but our friends have a 2yo who is totally into daddy. i can't wait for this:
https://www.fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?st=665&e=expertadvice&catnamestart=m&ccat=PS_MakeTime&content=81350

Heh. My daughter "forces" my husband and I to kiss during her bedtime routine if we've forgotten. She'll do it other times to. She grabs either my head/ear or my husband's and pulls us closer to the other. It's pretty cute when she does it.

To answer the OP's question: my daughter prefers me right now, but that's just because I'm home with her all day. She smiles, waves and says hi to her daddy when he gets home, but she definitely prefers me right now. I would love for it to be more balanced, but in the mean time I'm trying to tell myself to enjoy all of it because it'll change and I'll look back and wish I'd soaked it in more Smile

g8trkim · December 2011

He usually prefers DH over me. My husband is a lot of fun and is super playful with Grant (not that I'm not those things but DH is like a big kid so he loves it). However, if he's sick, he wants Mommy more than anything... so that makes me feel good.

SoDoMojo · December 2011

MrsDe2008:
I'm a SAHM and DH works long hours some days, so she sees me much more than him. With that said, she prefers to be with me. Sometimes (on the rare occassion), she looks for him, but majority of the time, it's me. I'm not gonna lie though...I love it! lol

This is us too. DH works loooooong days.

yaeger16 · December 2011

Me for sure. I'm a SAHM, so he spends so much more time with me that he does DH.

Krista123105 · December 2011

kcl22:
It depends on his mood and needs. If he wants to play he wants Daddy. If it's time for bed or he doesn't feel well he wants Mama.

This.

nopegoat · December 2011

My DF works OOT so he is gone a LOT! Whenever he is home Mathieu prefers him over me which makes me super happy! I am a SAHM and am with him 24/7 so its nice to have a break!

historychick79 · December 2011

Like PP, it can depend on his mood. While both of us are equally good at either soothing or roughousing with him, he is used to me waking him up and putting him to bed, and tends to be more giggly around DH. Because DH stays home with C right now, C is used to seeing me leave. So he's usually happy and waves bye bye to me each day with no issues. If DH leaves without C, it's Niagara Falls meets The Hulk. And on Sunday, we went to a brunch with family and took turns getting our food while the other watched C--he bawled whenever one of us left, and calmed down the second we each returned.

KJmashup · December 2011

DS prefers DH over me. Yeah, it bothers me.

scoutkate · December 2011

I think she still prefers me but she is obsessed with talking to/about him. Everything is dada.

ashnoelle · December 2011

bstrangely:
i think it's pretty typical for them to go back and forth. right now ds is my biggest fan, but our friends have a 2yo who is totally into daddy. i can't wait for this:
https://www.fisher-price.com/fp.aspx?st=665&e=expertadvice&catnamestart=m&ccat=PS_MakeTime&content=81350

that guy gave the lamest answer ever. btw, Sophia already gets a little jealous and watches us so closely when we hug or kiss in front of her. But she's not in the whole Oedipus stage yet.

Directed to the OP, I think DD really just wants both of us. She always asks for dada when I'm there but she asks for me when I'm gone as well. When we both put her to bed at night she goes back and forth hugging and snuggling us individually.

emilydholmes1 · December 2011

Depends on what he wants and what we can do for him in that moment. He misses us both when one isn't there (he will go to the front door and sit and wait) and he doesn't necessarily cling to or cry for either. We haven't really noticed yet if he favors one yet.

GreysGirl · December 2011

My stbxh is very in and out of DS's life. He seems me everyday (I work full time but in the morning and at night) and spends all day every weekend with me. I am his only constant parent and he very obviously prefers me over his father. We recently moved in with my parents who he adores also.