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1st Trimester
iris427
member
Go ahead and flame me too
iris427
member
My pregnancy was unplanned and when I got my BFP, I cried my eyes out and wished my period would show up anyway--so in effect, yeah, I was wishing for a m/c. My husband was in another country and I was scared and feeling very alone.
Now, when my head had some time to clear, I realized what a blessing this was. My little girl is asleep on my lap right now and I am so thankful that I have a healthy baby.
But sometimes when you are not in your right mind, you think things like that. It doesn't make you a bad person. Yes, there are ladies on here who have had m/c and stillbirth and IF, and that is terrible. I'm sure nobody here wishes to discount that pain.
But not everyone comes to their pregnancy from the same place. If you weren't prepared for it, or if you are having a very difficult pregnancy, sometimes you may wish you weren't pregnant. You aren't thinking straight.
I feel for anyone having those thoughts, because clearly they need some support and help.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Go ahead and flame me too
I cried and was very sad with this BFP. I had a 10 month old at home, just stared a new Psych program, was VERY sick with this one. Had a VERY hard pregnancy with Caroline and the 8 days in the hospital were BAD. I was a very sick girl with BP and swelling so high I was in bad shape.
Now we are VERY happy.
But Iris, how could you be upset over an unplanned pregnancy when there are SO MANY PEOPLE OUT THERE who want to be pregnant right now. Had you been joyous about it at first, they would have all magically become pregnant.
How is it that people post about terminating pregnancies over on Money Matters almost weekly and I have yet to see flames? Get off your high horses, ladies.
heh, well said you guys.
My story?... I was just out of a divorce and broke up with a guy who cheated on me. My kids are 8 & 9 years old and I thought I was DONE. Accidents clearly happen! I was terrified, how was I supposed to take care of the 2 I already had being a single mom?
Yes, I am thrilled about my baby, NOW. But if you would have asked me 20 weeks ago, heh.
Exactly
Mine was definitely not planned. I'd just started my masters program and a new job. My relationship was new and then bam. And there are days and nights when I'm like "God I'm pregnant.
" This wasn't my plan. I'm young and on the move. My whole social life changed in an instant. So I could only imagine if my symptoms were out of control. I knew from the moment I found out that I would have the baby but that doesn't mean that there are days I don't regret the situation and yes I too have thought, if it ended, it wouldn't be so bad. But I quickly snap out of it, but I still have those moments.
Sorry all of us haven't been TTC and aren't just glowing for the full 40 weeks, but that's real life. It's a long, physical & mental journey and sometimes it takes it's toll on people.
Agreed 100%
People need to step back for a few minutes and think before they type. Until they've walked a mile in her shoes, they have no right to judge.
My Etsy Store PIGGY'S PLACE
Well said all of you. My pregnancy was very much planned- yet I can still understand the thought process of maybe not wanting a BFP during another time in my life-- past or future.
Not everything is puppies and kittens and maybe not even rainbows-- so as long as we all take responsible for the children we brought or are bringing into this world is all I care about. How someone got there- or what there inital reactions were- so what. It's their life, their emotions and everyone is different.
A good friend of mine had a couple pregnancy scares back in college-- now 10 years later, she is having hard time getting pregnant.. has been TTC over a year and a half. She doesn't feel guilty for the pregnancies she hoped weren't there 10 years ago, she is where she is-- and thats it.
Well even the planned pregnancy can cause you a moment of hesitation....I have been trying and trying - and after 3 M/C - the last one was twins - I am pregnant and I was happy about it....then I was told that I had Protein S Dificiency. This causes your blood to clot and therefore, I have to inject myself with Heparin twice a day. First of all I am deathly afraid of needles to the point of tears. I hate pain....of any kind..but self inflicted pain with needles even worse. You would think I would have my husband to help but I am more afraid of someone else coming at me with needles to inject in my stomach!!!!
On top of that they think I had an Incomplete Cervix which means at 14 weeks I had to have stitch put in.
Oh lets talk about the baby aspririn regimen I do everyday, special PNV, Antibiotics once a week for every month until I deliver, and there is more....and on top of the meds - severe MS and joint pains - and now some swelling....
Were there times earlier in the pregnancy where I wished this baby wasnt here - YOU DAMN SKIPPY - but I worked thru it and I am at the end road...and there is still more to come - I have to have a scheduled C-Section - and then we have the recovery and then I still cant come off the heparin injections until about 3 months after the birth!!
So if you are going to talk about her then talk about me - I dare you...you have no idea what it is like to walk in my shoes...there is nothing worse than holier than thou beeches...
Some of you really need to take a look in the mirror and really ask yourself could you go thru these issues and seriously not think what if?
My Dh questions it now, when I am going through m/s or feelign dizzy or so exhausted. He keeps saying he thinks soemthing is wrong because I shouldn't be feeling this way. Apprently his 1st baby's mama had a perfect pregancy. Lucky her.
Wow... Way to help them take a look into reality... Thanks! Not all pregnancies are peaches and creme...
And best of luck to you and your little one..
Add me to the stake too. With Evan, he was unplanned and I begged for it to not be true - but once my head cleared, I too realized what a blessing that pregnancy was. And I look at him today and am SO so happy that he's here. My second was planned but I had no idea how much the exhaustion and hormonal-ness of pregnancy would get to me, and I didn't even really get excited about it until the second trimester when I was thinking straight again.
Planned or unplanned, sick or not sick, not everyone enjoys every minute of pregnancy, and OTHER PREGNANT WOMEN should understand what it feels like to sometimes feel a bit crazy, sometimes feel pretty sick, and to be totally terrified about the realities of pregnancy and motherhood - and support someone who is very very clearly struggling right now.
I agree whole hartedly with every thing stated in this post. Well said ladies!
My DD was also an unplanned pregnancy and many times I had the same thoughts of others. Her father was cheating on me while I was pregnant and had the nerve to ask me to marry him. I said no and thought how am I going to raise and support a child on my own.
I am glad that things turned out differently. I now have a strongminded, level headed and beautiful eight year old girl, who is trilled to be a big sister.
Until you have walked a mile in others shoes, do not judge. Life is not all puppy dogs and rainbows.
I can join in too...We tried for 8 months to get pregnant. We finally did & at 16 wks, I got layed off. Financially we were really struggling...We didn't know if we were going to be able to support ourselves, let alone a child. There were a few times when I thought "What have we gotten our selves into?" or "This is a mistake". Of course, It all worked out and now I thank god everyday that this little girl is growing inside me.
I went through infertility to get pregnant the first time. This time, I'm not even back from maternity leave, caring for a four-month-old, and dealing with postpartum depression. I looked at that positive pregnancy test and thought, "Oh my gosh, how on earth are we ever going to do this?"
As much as I feel blessed, there were and certainly are moments where it's overwhelming and too much to handle. I don't judge women who are sick and drowning emotionally.
I had 2 pregnancy losses and TTTC and hyperemesis and I STILL feel sorry for the way that poor woman was treated here today. ?She's clearly in need of help, not in need of berating. ?
Unless you are in someone's home, living their life, dealing with their problems with their resources, you don't know squat and should button it. ?Everyone always says, "well, I would never do or think X." ?Great, you're the perfect mom/person. ?Not everyone else is as wonderful as you are. ?
I find these boards generally very helpful but cannot stand the fact that many posters would rather cut someone down than try to offer support or help. ?