Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: How do I say no to playdate?
Are you talking about dropping him off at the friend's house without you? If so, I would play the overprotective mom bit and say that you are not comfortable leaving DS without you.
I wouldn't have a problem with the friend coming to my house. You can control the environment and use it as a teachable moment with your LO. When I have had a child in my home that has used inappropriate language, I just nicely say, "we don't use those words at our house" then you can give them a word to use that you find acceptable. I was watching a friend's 6 yo DD and she kept saying oh my God. I just said that we didn't say that at our house and she could say oh my goodness or just oh my. It wasn't a real big deal.
Regardless of the parents/child, I am not ready to let DD go on a playdate without me yet!
Honestly I think you might be prematurely judging this little kid. Perhaps you should suggest he come to your home so you can supervise! I would invite his mother to come along and get to know her a little. Nothing you mentioned would make me throw out huge red flags (if he was cursing like he was fisherman on Deadliest Catch or playing out the movie Jason on his pet dog I think I would keep as far away as possible from that child but it doesn't seem like that is the case from your post). I agree with Angela though, at this age I still wouldn't drop off my child.
One thing I've learned since Harm being in the Public Schools Pre-K is that children come from all backgrounds and upbringings. We don't do things like super-heros or gun toys in the home. So when his friends come over, who do play things like that, we just let them know in our home we play with Thomas and Friends and other more wholesome things.
I totally agree. Hey, at least he said "heck" instead of many other words. I wouldn't bat an eye at that. And I watched horror movies at 4 years old...not that I let DD1 watch them. Give it another try...
You're upset because the kid said "heck"?
If you pick and choose your child's friends because of the cartoons they watch and the stuff he talks about... good luck with that one. Especially by middle school. Kids are going to be friends with who they're going to be friends with. If the kid got in his car seat and started cursing one side and down the other or started physically hurting your kid, yeah, keep them apart. But watching Spongebob and saying things like "heck" are not reasons to bust a friendship apart.
I think ruling out friends for using the word 'heck' is going to make it near impossible to find friends you approve of. That is your decision as a parent, but I don't know anyone who would consider heck a swear word, and I'm pretty conservative myself.
Where you draw the line is up to you, but it sounds like you are comfortable with any other children having play dates with yours, so you might just have to make a rule that you aren't going to have play dates, period.