Leaving baby for the first time?

palma44 · December 2011

This is way early but my mom just put this in my mind and now I am curious to your thoughts.

My baby is due May 22nd, every year in July all of the girls in my family go on an girls only camping trip. I have been assuming I wouldn't go this year as baby will only be a month or two old and I don't feel like I can't leave baby that early, especially since I am breast feeding.

What are your thoughts? would this be a nice break for me and some bonding time for Daddy or is it just way to early to be leaving baby and I should skip this year?

hulagirl94 · December 2011

Things are still a little crazy those first few weeks, so it may be a little soon. I might wait until it's closer and see how things are going first

mylittlesunshine · December 2011

It would be too early for me. If you do leave, you are going to take in to account that if you are BF'ing, you will need to pump (during the same time you would have nursed), and have a way to store your milk while you are camping.

shadypines · December 2011

If you are leaving your baby girl with daddy, I say go have some FUN!!! I would pump & freeze my milk before I leave. Wink

Chelsey68 · December 2011

The first time i left my LO with my mom he was 7 1/2 months and i had just stopped nursing. That wasn't so hard since i was living with her at the time and she had been with him everyday. (I only left him for a few hours.) The second person i left him with was his babysitter when i went back to work when he was 10 months old. I got to work and said ok bye everyone i think five minutes is long enough im going back to get my baby. It was super hard i personally dont think i could do it without thinking about him constantly.

But on that note hes almost 4 now and i hate leaving him over 24hrs with my own mom, so it may just be me.

I personally wouldnt go but it depends on how good you are at leaving him, maybe try a practice round for a shorter amount of time.

tmj2008 · December 2011

mylittlesunshine:

It would be too early for me. If you do leave, you are going to take in to account that if you are BF'ing, you will need to pump (during the same time you would have nursed), and have a way to store your milk while you are camping.

Yes, definately too early . With my son it took me forever to heal. I had an infection then I had to have repair surgury about a month and a half after delivery so it was like healing from another childbirth immediately after. You just dont know how you are going to feel. I'd wait to see.

Jessimurph · December 2011

i wouldn't be comfortable leaving that soon. Physically if you're bfing, but also emotionally. Spending even 24 hours being engorged and hormonal...? No thank you. You could be recovering from a csection too.

pinksweetpea2 · December 2011

There is no freaking way I would leave my baby at (most likely less than) 2 months old...BF or not. I didn't leave my current DD for the weekend until she was 14 months old and almost weaned.

Logistically, it would be really hard to go away more than a day or night if you are planning on EBF. Many babies at that point are still nursing every two hours...I can't imagine you will want to pump that often and I would be very worried it would affect your supply...not to mention you will have to pump often ahead of time to make sure you have a stash for your DD to drink.

These early days are short time. Your girls trip will be there next year.

DawnLilly · December 2011

Going would be very important to me. i plan on primarily pumping. if its a weekend i would probably not stay to whole time but just go for a night or maybe two nights if you plan it for a week. dh is more than capable. everyone is going to say "oh, she's a ftm" but really i think this is important. its important for dh to exclusively be with lo sometimes and for you to remind yourself you are single entity too even this early on.

Torani · December 2011

That would be too early for me. DS took about six weeks to really get the hang of BFing, and I would not have wanted to switch him to bottle that early when he was just getting used to the breast. Also, I was sore for a long time, and unless your family camps by just hanging out at the campsite, I would not want to even go. I would skip it this year, but I could also come down to how you feel when the time comes.

ksutt · December 2011

That would be way too early for me to even consider leaving the baby. For one thing, I personally think at that point bonding with the baby and getting into a routine is WAY more important than a trip that happens every year. Another thing to consider - first time dads don't always feel as comfortable as quickly with a brand new baby. Are you sure your husband would feel comfortable being the SOLE caregiver that early on?

spunkyprincessmande · December 2011

Personally, there's no way I'd be able to leave my baby that quickly. Especially if you're bfing. Your supply could still be regulating at that point, making it painful for you to be away. Plus, it took at least 2 months before I really felt normal and like I wanted to be with people other than my H for any amount of extended time. But I know everyone is different and you could feel totally different. I'd wait and see how you feel at that point.

allisonmarie22 · December 2011

I am a FTM but my gut feeling is skip it. It just seems too soon.

onetxjewel · December 2011

I think it's totally up to each individual. My hubby and I are discussing leaving our LO at 2.5-3 months old for a trip for our anniversary and my mom has already said she'd watch Keaton and I think it would be good for him to spend time with my family (my family lives 3 hours away). I don't plan on bf'ing that long so that wouldn't be an issue for me.

For DH and I we both agree that our LO is so precious and means the world to us but at the same time we need time ot ourselves! If it's something that is important to you then go for it! LO and daddy bonding is wonderful!!! And maybe going on a short girls trip will give you a good break. I believe every mommy needs a break even if she doesn't admit it!

WildcatPrincess · December 2011

That soon I wouldn't. Your supply is still being established and LO is nursing a lot (at least in my experience). We went away for a weekend when DD was close to a year and I found pumping 3x a day on vacation annoying, I can't imagine more like 6 times a day. Plus emotionally I KNOW I wasn't ready when she was that small! We went to lunch and a movie when she was a month old and I was a bundle of nerves the whole time.

shadypines · December 2011

DawnLilly:
Going would be very important to me. i plan on primarily pumping. if its a weekend i would probably not stay to whole time but just go for a night or maybe two nights if you plan it for a week. dh is more than capable. everyone is going to say "oh, she's a ftm" but really i think this is important. its important for dh to exclusively be with lo sometimes and for you to remind yourself you are single entity too even this early on.

So agree!! Smile

LMA06 · December 2011

1 or 2 months would be too early for me, 6 months is different but just 8 weeks out seems like it would be hard on you and baby.

LilyPotter218 · December 2011

I am due March 20th and have a friend's wedding in late May.

If the grandparents can babysit, we will be going. Just one night and only an hour away, but I think it will be good for everyone.

JuneBugBaby2012 · December 2011

It would be too early for me. I agree that Daddy needs alone time with baby and you need time for yourself too; however, It's hard to plan ahead exactly how things will go with delivery and recovery. It's hard to plan on how nursing will go! If the trip happens every year, I would be looking forward to leaving Daddy with a 1 year old instead.

Sparks in training! · December 2011

I would skip. You still might have heavy menstral flows....spotting. And might still be sore depending on you delivery. Plus...if you are breastfeeding...the "lighting" HURTS like a mother! And you will WANT that baby, breast pump OR HUSBAND to express that milk NOW! Wink

Plus...that early...in the game...you will be SO in love with your baby that you would be in pain to leave it. At least for me...it was painful. Even now (age she is 10yrs) i still miss her when she is at school...I wait for her text message everyday when she gets into aftercare.

For me...my bonding time with husband...was watching him play with our newborn. But everyone is different. You might find yourself dying for some downtime.

Hkaye · December 2011

I think this is only something you can answer closer to that time. You dont know how you will feel then and if you want to go dont let anybody make you feel bad for leaving. I would just wait and see what you think, I know just dropping my daughter off at daycare at 7 weeks was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

Still free to be me · December 2011

DD is almost 2 1/2 and I haven't been apart from her overnight yet. When she was two months old, I left her with someone else for the first time...for two hours. Even that was hard...

Under.the.Rose · December 2011

I wasn't able to leave DS for more than 2 hours until he was almost a year old -- he was nursing all the time and wouldn't take a bottle or sippy.

I also had ZERO desire to leave him for any period of time for the longest time. Absolutely not at 1 month old.

mrs.gee · December 2011

The pumping alone would make me say no. Will you even have access to a power source to use the pump? The battery packs on those things don't last long. And if you are using a manual pump, plan to spend most of the trip alone, doing that. Even if you just ditch the milk because it's too hard to store, I'd be so worried about my supply I think it would take away from the experience. Not to mention all the other factors PPs have mentioned. 'Til next year.

livinreality · December 2011

I left DS at 7 weeks overnight with my mom. It was great, I got lots of sleep and came back really missing him. But I really trust my mom, she is a great caregiver, would not have left him with anyone else at that point.

If you are leaving him with DH I would just make sure that DH had support incase he runs into problems. It is important that he learns to deal with things on his own.

Breastfeeding would be hard but being an all girl trip pumping would not be too horrible.

How rustic of camping is it? If you stay in a cabin, maybe you could take LO with you?

TerraCotta210 · December 2011

It's definitely a personal decision - but I would plan to skip if it were me, especially if you are breastfeeding. You will still need to maintain a pumping schedule while camping, which depending on your accomodations, may be difficult.

But also, my son is almost 4 1/2 and still has never spent the night away from me. When this LO is born will be the first time DS and I will have ever been separated overnight (my mother thinks I'm a little neurotic, lol).

Sawyerplus1 · December 2011

I probably wouldn't leave baby at that point. Those first few months are pretty insane and blurry and exhausting. I dont think I'd feel like I needed a vacation at that point either. I would possibly consider going WITH baby, but would wait to see how I was healing/adjusting, how baby was/nursing/sleeping, etc.

Webbie3 · December 2011

Still free to be me:
DD is almost 2 1/2 and I haven't been apart from her overnight yet. When she was two months old, I left her with someone else for the first time...for two hours. Even that was hard...

Thanks for saying this, we're exactly the same way. There is no way on Earth I would have been able to leave my newborn so soon.

AbsoluteLM · December 2011

Its definitely a personal decision--and one you should make after baby is here. You won't know how you feel until then.

That said, the first time I will be leaving DS for an overnight is when this next LO is born and he will be 2+ years then! We are attached at the hip and I really don't see a reason to leave him for the weekend for a vacation--but that is just me. When our kids are older, we will then go on couple's vacations, but for now we are all about family vacays. DH and I DO go out for dinner or dates on our own, though.

You'll figure it out when your LO gets here.

kstopforth · December 2011

My husband, the FATHER of my child, is perfectly capable of being a sole caregiver to OUR baby. I think it would be harder emotionally for me to leave that early, because I want to spend every waking hour with my little one. However, I think it is crucial to our baby that s/he can bond with daddy. My husband would be way too excited to even THINK of saying no. So long as you've pump enough and freeze it, I'd say if you can emotionally handle it, so can your husband.

tarat3232 · December 2011

For what it's worth, I'm leaving LO at about 10 weeks for several days. I'm in a destination wedding that is 2 plane rides and an hour drive away. I agreed to be in the wedding long before I was pregnant and it's my best friend! I would rather leave the baby in Dad's capable hands then try to take him with me through all of that. Pumping is something I'll have to figure out, but in the end, it will be fine.

I wouldn't say absolutely not, and I wouldn't say of course. I would say maybe and see how things go.

tbmadeamistake · December 2011

As long as you're somewhere not freezing, take the baby with you! My sister did it at about that age and said it was fine.

jmgcoggins · December 2011

DS was 5 1/2 weeks when I went back to work. Just 8 hours was pure torture. I cried a lot during work that day.

Also, prior to having DS I always said "there is no way I would want to be a sahm, I love going to work...." blah blah blah. It's completely different when baby is here. I wish I could be a SAHM. Working and coming home to take care of the child is a lot of work, it's like having two full time jobs.

The first time DS was without me was when he was 6 months old. I didn't have a babysitter and my mom watched him for his first Thanksgiving. That was pure torture too. I called every 2 seconds.

Also like PP's have said, you may need to think about if your going to be BF, how your going to pump, freeze, and store your milk. Trust me going one feeding time/ pumping time will leave you miserable. Thinking about your LO will also make you engorge, and you may have to pump more often. I know when I went back to work, just thinking about him made my breasts fill up and ache...

erbear · December 2011

not a chance if you're breastfeeding. You are not going to pump every two hours (how would you even do this while camping?), wake up at night to pump. You'll be ridiculously engorged and you'll tank your supply. Not worth it.

I went to a wedding when DD1 was 8 weeks old. It was nice to be away and "me" for a night, but it sure did suck to have to keep coming back to the hotel to pump.

erbear · December 2011

Sparks in training!:
I would skip. You still might have heavy menstral flows....spotting. And might still be sore depending on you delivery. Plus...if you are breastfeeding...the "lighting" HURTS like a mother! And you will WANT that baby, breast pump OR HUSBAND to express that milk NOW!

Plus...that early...in the game...you will be SO in love with your baby that you would be in pain to leave it. At least for me...it was painful. Even now (age she is 10yrs) i still miss her when she is at school...I wait for her text message everyday when she gets into aftercare.

For me...my bonding time with husband...was watching him play with our newborn. But everyone is different. You might find yourself dying for some downtime.

ew. Ick!

smacb · December 2011

I wouldn't go

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