Violence at preschool

Re: Violence at preschool

• Asquared member

  December 2011

  It's definitely worth it! One more day of bullying would make it worth it to send a message to the little one AND especially to the mom.   Get that mom a copy of "To Train up a Child". 

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• Brewtowngrl member

  December 2011

  Whoa!  I would talk to the director.  That is too much.  Kick in the face? Knife to the face?  What is happening at home?  My child is far from well mannered and can be a biggest pill ever.  He has hit me, but that is a little extreme.  

  
  
  

  
  

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• byrne15 member

  December 2011

  unacceptable...i would definately talk to the principal

  ~after 34 cycles we finally got our 2nd little bundle of joy~
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• Spenjamins

  December 2011

  I just talked to out preschool director today about a kid in my boy's class who is a special/high needs kid. He regularly hits children unprovoked and the teacher basically told me he was on 1:1 because he was so disruptive. I would let them know.

  

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• ss+el member

  December 2011

  Definitely escalate it to the principal. Once your DD leaves, this girl is just going to find a new target.
  

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• KathrynMD member

  December 2011

  something's off - that girl is either special needs or there's some kind of abuse/neglect at home.  I would definitely report it.

  

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• FortMyersBride

  December 2011

  I would take it to the principal, that kind of violence (esp threatening with a "knife") is certainly not normal PS behavior.

  

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• jlw2505 member

  December 2011

  At the daycare my younger DD is at, all incident reports are written and the teacher, director and parent signs off on them.  If there is nothing like this in place, I would for sure talk to the director.  Once you leave, this child will just find someone else to pick on.  Any time one child touches another, the director needs to be aware of the situation and handle it accordingly.
  

  Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 

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• BallSox member

  December 2011

  jlw2505:

  At the daycare my younger DD is at, all incident reports are written and the teacher, director and parent signs off on them.  If there is nothing like this in place, I would for sure talk to the director.  Once you leave, this child will just find someone else to pick on.  Any time one child touches another, the director needs to be aware of the situation and handle it accordingly.
  

  Seriously?  I lurk here on and off seeing if there's anything I can offer opinions on (I teach PS).  Did the child come up and say "I'm going to stab you in the face!!" or "I want to kill you!!"? Yes, I know 110% that it's your (the OP) child and you (the OP) have the right (obviously) to be concerned, but for anyone to suggest that every single time one child touches another the director needs to be notified and they need to handle the situation is unfathomable.  I have three and four year olds (19 in my room at any one time) and they are (by their very developmental nature): impulsive, overeager and egocentric.  

  (I want to take a second to interject that despite all of these developmental traits, I love my kids and if I didn't, I'd certainly not stay at my job, it's not a get-rich-quick-and-easy job, for sure.) 

  It's completely unprofessional of the staff to tell you who did it (if it was them and not your child, children are notorious for spilling all of the details).  I would want to know more about the situation surrounding the incidents before I made any decisions about whether or not to storm the directors office with flags blazing.  (This is also where I second the poster who made the comment about the incident/accident notification.  I believe it's a pretty general licensing regulation that there is a thorough documentation system in place).  

  If your daughter was sitting reading a book and some child just walked up and roundhouse kicked her point-blank in the head, serious issue.  If they are crawling around and pretending to be kitties and your child lays down on the floor and the other child is unaware of her bodily space and kicks your child in the face, not so serious (as in bullying, it sucks she would be hurt).   If your child is sipping tea at the table in housekeeping and another child pulls a knife to your daughters face threatening to skin her like a fish, serious issue.  If they are standing together in housekeeping and the child with the knife turns too quickly and your daughter is close by and gets scraped in the face, not so serious.  I understand that anything that negatively happens to your child is going to pull out the mama bear, but the reality is that most kids of the PS age have no idea of the consequences of flailing the arms near a friend or what it will do to her friend when he pulls her hair.  

  I would ask to see the documentation on the incident and bring up your concerns to the teacher if it sincerely seems targeted.  If the teachers seem indifferent or feel it's targeted towards your daughter only, yes, then I'd take it to the director.  

  That being said, to say "10 years down the line, it'd be assault"?  If we judge what happens in a preschool class by what it would be 10 years down the line, I'd have sex offenders, drug addicts, serial abusers, professional thieves and some serious con artists.  

  It's easy to scream zero tolerance, but it is not so cut and dry.  Teachers can watch and try to intervene but anytime you get a bunch of bouncy balls (and really, PS'ers can be quite energetic and chaotic at times) in a closed room, eventually they are going to bang into each other.  
  
  I hope it all works out. 

  Little Man (4 years old---holy cow)
  He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be.  He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.  

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• Temp6313048411121614 member

  December 2011

  BallSox:

  jlw2505:

  At the daycare my younger DD is at, all incident reports are written and the teacher, director and parent signs off on them.  If there is nothing like this in place, I would for sure talk to the director.  Once you leave, this child will just find someone else to pick on.  Any time one child touches another, the director needs to be aware of the situation and handle it accordingly.
  

  Seriously?  I lurk here on and off seeing if there's anything I can offer opinions on (I teach PS).  Did the child come up and say "I'm going to stab you in the face!!" or "I want to kill you!!"? Yes, I know 110% that it's your (the OP) child and you (the OP) have the right (obviously) to be concerned, but for anyone to suggest that every single time one child touches another the director needs to be notified and they need to handle the situation is unfathomable.  I have three and four year olds (19 in my room at any one time) and they are (by their very developmental nature): impulsive, overeager and egocentric.  

  (I want to take a second to interject that despite all of these developmental traits, I love my kids and if I didn't, I'd certainly not stay at my job, it's not a get-rich-quick-and-easy job, for sure.) 

  It's completely unprofessional of the staff to tell you who did it (if it was them and not your child, children are notorious for spilling all of the details).  I would want to know more about the situation surrounding the incidents before I made any decisions about whether or not to storm the directors office with flags blazing.  (This is also where I second the poster who made the comment about the incident/accident notification.  I believe it's a pretty general licensing regulation that there is a thorough documentation system in place).  

  If your daughter was sitting reading a book and some child just walked up and roundhouse kicked her point-blank in the head, serious issue.  If they are crawling around and pretending to be kitties and your child lays down on the floor and the other child is unaware of her bodily space and kicks your child in the face, not so serious (as in bullying, it sucks she would be hurt).   If your child is sipping tea at the table in housekeeping and another child pulls a knife to your daughters face threatening to skin her like a fish, serious issue.  If they are standing together in housekeeping and the child with the knife turns too quickly and your daughter is close by and gets scraped in the face, not so serious.  I understand that anything that negatively happens to your child is going to pull out the mama bear, but the reality is that most kids of the PS age have no idea of the consequences of flailing the arms near a friend or what it will do to her friend when he pulls her hair.  

  I would ask to see the documentation on the incident and bring up your concerns to the teacher if it sincerely seems targeted.  If the teachers seem indifferent or feel it's targeted towards your daughter only, yes, then I'd take it to the director.  

  That being said, to say "10 years down the line, it'd be assault"?  If we judge what happens in a preschool class by what it would be 10 years down the line, I'd have sex offenders, drug addicts, serial abusers, professional thieves and some serious con artists.  

  It's easy to scream zero tolerance, but it is not so cut and dry.  Teachers can watch and try to intervene but anytime you get a bunch of bouncy balls (and really, PS'ers can be quite energetic and chaotic at times) in a closed room, eventually they are going to bang into each other.  
  
  I hope it all works out. 

  I agree, intent means a lot.  We took DS1 on a playdate with our neighbors that have 2 kids.  The older kid said that DS1 kicked her little brother in the face.  Later we found out that DS1 and the little brother were chasing eachother around and my DS was kicking his legs trying to get away and didn't realize that the other little boy was so close. 

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• anna7602 member

  December 2011

  I get that intent means a lot, but since you weren't there, you can't assess what happened. It is entirely the reponsibility of the teachers and the school director to determine whether this was an unfortunate series of accidents or whether the little girl does, in fact, have a violent side that needs to be addressed. You need to bring it up to the principal and if it turns out that it was accidental, so be it. In either event (accidental or not), it is not going to hurt anyone to have teachers keep a closer eye on this little girl's interactions with your own child.

  

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